What Am i Doing?
I'm falling for someone, HARDCORE.... but tonight when he really needed someone, who is by his side, who did he cry to on the phone? His Ex! I'm beating myself up over not being able to be right there to give him a hug, and hold him... but then again i don't even know if thats what would have wanted?
I asked him tonight if i'd lose him to some random guy younger than me..... he asked why i was worried..... Why am i worried? Good Question..... I tell him night after night that i like him a lot..... and he barely even acknowledges it... just says something like "well thats obvious" or something.... I know he takes it slow on relationships but i'd at least like to HEAR him say he does have feelings for me...... i feel like right now i'm chasing something i can't catch, and i don't know if i'll ever be able.
I just wish i could find out for sure what was going on..... I have not felt this way about someone since TJ.... Nobody i've been with since has made me feel like this guy does.... he's someone i can really see getting to know on deeper and higher levels.... He's someone i can see down the road waking up next to every morning.... if things progress well to that point.... for that is what i ultimately want....is someone to Go to bed with and night, and wake up with in the morning (or smack them when their alarm wakes me up 4 hours too early)
I feel we have a good connection but he makes himself very difficult to read.... i can read some, enough to know i could see myself with him, but not enough to TRULY know how he feels back....or at least if any feelings are slowly developing.... than again i dont think i would of seen him the past 4 days in a row if there was no hope.
Only one person knows the answers to my questions.... and he may never even read this.
-MB
I asked him tonight if i'd lose him to some random guy younger than me..... he asked why i was worried..... Why am i worried? Good Question..... I tell him night after night that i like him a lot..... and he barely even acknowledges it... just says something like "well thats obvious" or something.... I know he takes it slow on relationships but i'd at least like to HEAR him say he does have feelings for me...... i feel like right now i'm chasing something i can't catch, and i don't know if i'll ever be able.
I just wish i could find out for sure what was going on..... I have not felt this way about someone since TJ.... Nobody i've been with since has made me feel like this guy does.... he's someone i can really see getting to know on deeper and higher levels.... He's someone i can see down the road waking up next to every morning.... if things progress well to that point.... for that is what i ultimately want....is someone to Go to bed with and night, and wake up with in the morning (or smack them when their alarm wakes me up 4 hours too early)
I feel we have a good connection but he makes himself very difficult to read.... i can read some, enough to know i could see myself with him, but not enough to TRULY know how he feels back....or at least if any feelings are slowly developing.... than again i dont think i would of seen him the past 4 days in a row if there was no hope.
Only one person knows the answers to my questions.... and he may never even read this.
-MB