(no subject)
Last night, I signed up for an income-based repayment plan for my student loans under the Biden-Harris SAVE plan. I'm not going to have to make any payments because I have no income.
I have felt guilt and shame for years now, since the end of 2019, for not having a source of income and for relying on Miriam for support and for us not being in a better financial situation. The process of dealing with the loan brought that keenly to mind. Once I finished, I spent a span of time ugly-crying on the couch with my head in Miriam's lap. Eventually I was able to get up and watch anime, which is all I had the ability to do the rest of the evening.