Covering My Trip To Kenosha
I think I'll try and post a batch of stuff from Facebook while I was away maybe once a day or so here to not overwhelm people who actually want to read it.
July 1st through 3rd below.
July 1st, I finally changed my name on Facebook.
I've been waiting for a long time to change my name here. I was going to finally do it once the immigration process was *completely* done and I had my permanent resident card physically in my hand. I have zero risk tolerance these days and I didn't want to do *anything* that could make Canada decide they don't want me.
But I have everything but that physical card now, including a temporary certificate to use until it arrives, and it's possible a lot of people are going to be seeing and interacting with me for the first time, and I want them to know me as who I really am; my father's daughter.
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July 1st - Observations at a thrift store
I was at the thrift store to pick up a piece of luggage for traveling to Kenosha and found the soundtrack to Barbarella on LP. I'd have sent a picture to Robert Allen; he'd have gotten a kick out of it. And now I'm asking myself, is it ok to tag him in random things that make me think of him? Maybe it will annoy all the people who are FB friends with him to see stuff popping up on their feed? I don't know. I hope people who see it don't mind.
I looked at all the Christmas music too and thought of him. He loved Christmas music, and once in a while I'd see an interesting Christmas album of some kind while thrifting and buy it for him.
And there was a deck of Charlie Brown playing cards that I'd have bought for him too. We regularly went to a used book store when I was a kid - I can't remember which one - and he'd buy me one of the paperback Peanuts books. I grew up reading that comic strip a lot, and it's connected strongly to him for me.
This all still feels somehow unreal and remote.
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July 1st - My plans for travel and fear about being away
I'm likely going to take the car and drive to Kenosha tomorrow morning. I'll head straight there and stay for...some undetermined period, I guess. I'm worried about Miriam being on her own because of her physical limitations. Even if she gets groceries delivered instead of me going out to pick them up, for example, I'm worried about her having to bend over to pick them up on days when her back is bad.
I'm also worried about being away from her for mental health reasons. We've become deeply reliant on each other for care and comfort as needed over the last three years, and it's needed a lot.
And the fear I've had since the fire about something terrible happening at home while I'm away is back with a vengeance. It's been joined by a fear that something terrible may happen to *me* while I'm away and Miriam would be on her own. I had a hard time getting on my bike to pick up the car yesterday because of fear that I'd be hit by a car. I've always been nervous about flying, but as we looked at flights to Kenosha, I felt deep fear of the prospect. So many bad things keep happening to us, why wouldn't something bad happen to a plane I'm on too? This is irrational, but I'm kind of lacking in spoons to confront my fears lately.
I was doing a lot better over the past week. My memory was better, I had more interest in doing things I care about, and I even attended the online trans support group for the first time in quite a long time because I thought I had the mental fortitude to not be depressed about not being able to meet up with people in person. But it seems like every time Miriam and I are catching up, recovering, doing better, we get hit with another thing.
So I don't know how long I'll be in Kenosha. It depends on a lot of things.
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July 1st - Bought some piano music
In the interest of hearing more piano, I bought a copy of Barry Douglas playing Mussorgsky's "Pictures at an Exhibition". I'm sorry Mussorgsky fans, it's just not doing it for me. But I'm learning whatever-I-feel-like piano, not formal classical piano, so I don't have to play it.
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July 1st - I wrote a bunch about trying to figure out towing a trailer with my car, but eventually decided not to do it.
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July 2nd - I started my drive to Kenosha. Blahaj asked to make some stops on the way so I could get pictures of her there. She likes seeing tourist kitsch as much as I do! This post has a picture of Blahaj at a sign reading "Canada Hot Spot 114 degrees July 5, 1937"
I'm on the way to Kenosha. Blahaj asked to stop for a photo with this sign and of course I couldn't say no! Getting moving again now. Once I get into the USA I'm turning mobile data off so there won't be a lot of updates.
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July 2nd - At the border
I'm at the border crossing and waiting in line. Ella is in her crate and I covered the vents on the window side so hopefully she won't flip out at the inspector.
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July 2nd - This post has a picture of Blahaj at a memorial for a power plant, of all things; the William J. Neal Station.
Someone in this car really loves infrastructure. Big hint; it's Blahaj!
I'm on I94, finally, and its amazing how comforting that feels. A large portion of my life happened at places along I94 and even though I've never been on this part of it, it feels a bit like home.
I'm in Valley City, ND at a McDonald's right now and am about to get going again.
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July 3rd - In Kenosha
I'm in Kenosha! I apparently exceeded everyone's expectations for time, but that's because other than stopping for a little food, or at random "points of interest" for Blahaj, I just drove the sixteen hours straight through.
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July 3rd - I posted a picture of Blahaj reading a sign about Minnesota Watershets that was at a rest stop.
Blahaj is very concerned about watershed safety and pollution, for obvious reasons! She thought the sign discussing them was really cool.
This info plaque is at a rest stop near the Minnesota border, I think.