OKCupid
So I created an OKCupid profile, with input from Danae, and help with photos from my sweetie Erik (a professional photographer) back in the Chicago area. It feels *so* good to be in happy, functioning poly relationships. Especially after the train wreck that was my relationship with my ex.
But anyway.
I'm kind of terrified of OKC. I was never on it very much in the past (see "terrified of OKC"), but I don't think you had to click 'like' or 'pass' on one person before you could see the next? I feel like I'm not quite ready to start liking people yet, but I also don't want to pass on them and maybe not see them again in case I'm interested later? I'd just like to see the different people around, you know? So for now, I just keep seeing the same few people when I log in.
I'm torn on whether to include people identifying as men or cis-men in my filters. When I have it on, the first person I see is some guy that I'd have no interest in spending time with, and when I turn it off, the couple of women and/or non-binary people I see are much more interesting.
In the abstract, I can be attracted to cis men just like any other gender. But the odds are so much higher of them being problematic in various ways. Plus, I'm not sure I really know how to relate to men? I was pretty bad at being a boy myself, and I think maybe I don't really know what cis male people are like and how to interact with them. I was talking about this at my most recent trans support group meeting, actually. I expressed that I'd like to potentially date men, but at the same time, I'm like "Oh, it's a boy! I don't know what to do with those!"
And as scared as I am about making the commitment of actually indicating to another human being that I think they're nifty and would like to be friends, one of the people I'm seeing is nifty enough to make me think I really might want to do that! So much of what they write about themself and what they're looking for really connects with me! Except for one thing: their profile says that the cultivation and use of cannabis is a very large part of they and their nesting partner's life, and if someone has no interest in it, they probably wouldn't be a good match. They're studying cannabis horticulture and working to become a veterinary cannabis counselor.
Well, I honestly have no interest in it, so that's that I guess.