I used to be a nice guy.
You know the type. The one that was always pining for things that everyone but him seems to get so easily. The kind that assumes that being a good person is enough to get what you want in life. That being friendly is enough by itself for women to fall in love with you and to receive applause from all your peers. It was just brought to my attention that "nice girls" suffer from the same problem. Which is what exactly?
Cowardice.
See, apparently, part of being "nice" is never coming out and even telling anyone what you want. Because that would be selfish. So it's a logical conclusion that when you're "nice" no one knows what you want, or even that you want anything. But asking is scary, because you might get told no for a variety of reasons, each one more painful and embarrassing than the last. Which is cool. If you don't want to get hurt by rejection and decide not to ask for what you want, there's nothing in the world wrong with that. But it is a little childish to resent the people that have the guts to do so, and even worse to resent those that respond favorably to being asked for things.
So, to sum up, there are two mature responses to desire. One is to pursue the thing that is desired in some genuine way (not "dropping hints" which is more bullshit), and the other is to acknowledge that you're not going to get it and move on.
Cowardice.
See, apparently, part of being "nice" is never coming out and even telling anyone what you want. Because that would be selfish. So it's a logical conclusion that when you're "nice" no one knows what you want, or even that you want anything. But asking is scary, because you might get told no for a variety of reasons, each one more painful and embarrassing than the last. Which is cool. If you don't want to get hurt by rejection and decide not to ask for what you want, there's nothing in the world wrong with that. But it is a little childish to resent the people that have the guts to do so, and even worse to resent those that respond favorably to being asked for things.
So, to sum up, there are two mature responses to desire. One is to pursue the thing that is desired in some genuine way (not "dropping hints" which is more bullshit), and the other is to acknowledge that you're not going to get it and move on.