election day... just another thing to worry about
strangely aloof...
I've looked around and seen nothing except the piles of pieces that make up me. I've spent hours worrying about someone who amounts to nothing, not worthy of mind space... an empty vessel looking for someone to harm. I am impermeable.
I wait. decisions. retractions. invitations. I wait.
I was down on myself today, being critical because I know I am better than this. I am amazing, and need not stoop to her level of nothing. I beat myself up for doing this... I survived.
I had my cards read, and they told me I was lonely... I think I could have told them that myself. I am lonely though surrounded, lonely though overwhelmed. I am lonely inside myself.
It's fall and I hate it.. mostly because I can not measure up.... but there I go again.
I miss winter in london. I miss smelling history, I miss stimulation of my mind, body, and spirit. I miss myself.
It's election day and I am worried.
Break me out of this desperation.
I've looked around and seen nothing except the piles of pieces that make up me. I've spent hours worrying about someone who amounts to nothing, not worthy of mind space... an empty vessel looking for someone to harm. I am impermeable.
I wait. decisions. retractions. invitations. I wait.
I was down on myself today, being critical because I know I am better than this. I am amazing, and need not stoop to her level of nothing. I beat myself up for doing this... I survived.
I had my cards read, and they told me I was lonely... I think I could have told them that myself. I am lonely though surrounded, lonely though overwhelmed. I am lonely inside myself.
It's fall and I hate it.. mostly because I can not measure up.... but there I go again.
I miss winter in london. I miss smelling history, I miss stimulation of my mind, body, and spirit. I miss myself.
It's election day and I am worried.
Break me out of this desperation.