which of the bold faced lies will we use?
I had kind of a bad day/night I guess.
I kind of came to realization that I don't have that "one call away" person everyone needs. I was so upset and I needed to talk to someone today but realized there was absoluetly no one i would feel comfortable with. I was breaking down because i don't know what im doing. I felt like I need advice but maybe its better not to have advice and i can come to conclusions myself, i dont know I'm just so confused right now. I'm not involved in any trouble or anything, just an emotional issue. I just should have known.
I make a mess out of everything.
I push everyone away. Its my fault I dont have that "one call away".
and it feels like one of the only people i try to keep close is trying to push away from me, but who could blame them really, i guess?
my mom is right. im the reason im always feeling like i have no friends.
its all me. I need to change.
I have friends, i just never get too close to anyone.
maybe i need to get away from here. maybe college in the city wouldn't be such a bad idea. I could start over with everything. go to school for something im gonna love...in the city! i dont know im still thinking, i probably couldnt even get into anywhere there, nevermind the expense. I just found out i have to wait because i didnt take the freakin sat's anyway. those of you who know me know im scared of almost everything, maybe it would be the best thing for me.
I didn't post this so people would comment or anything and feel bad for me, in fact, i would rather people not say anything i just needed to let out how i felt. i'll probably delete this entry like tomorrow anyway.
I kind of came to realization that I don't have that "one call away" person everyone needs. I was so upset and I needed to talk to someone today but realized there was absoluetly no one i would feel comfortable with. I was breaking down because i don't know what im doing. I felt like I need advice but maybe its better not to have advice and i can come to conclusions myself, i dont know I'm just so confused right now. I'm not involved in any trouble or anything, just an emotional issue. I just should have known.
I make a mess out of everything.
I push everyone away. Its my fault I dont have that "one call away".
and it feels like one of the only people i try to keep close is trying to push away from me, but who could blame them really, i guess?
my mom is right. im the reason im always feeling like i have no friends.
its all me. I need to change.
I have friends, i just never get too close to anyone.
maybe i need to get away from here. maybe college in the city wouldn't be such a bad idea. I could start over with everything. go to school for something im gonna love...in the city! i dont know im still thinking, i probably couldnt even get into anywhere there, nevermind the expense. I just found out i have to wait because i didnt take the freakin sat's anyway. those of you who know me know im scared of almost everything, maybe it would be the best thing for me.
I didn't post this so people would comment or anything and feel bad for me, in fact, i would rather people not say anything i just needed to let out how i felt. i'll probably delete this entry like tomorrow anyway.