A New Character! # 7 - Lisa
Meanwhile, just down the road...
Princess Peach had had a rough morning. Bowser had attempted to kidnap her no less than three times before 8am. Luckily, she’d been able to fend him off without any major problems. Ever since she’d taken those self-defense courses at the local police station (she thanked Toadstool silently for coming up with that idea - police keeping Bowser away? she was stupid not to have thought of it earlier) keeping Bowser at bay had become a cinch. In fact, Bowser wasn’t too much of a challenge at all these days. One good backwards spin kick to the chin and he was out for fifteen minutes. Unfortunately, this new attitude of hers didn’t do much for Mario’s self-confidence. Her mustachioed hero had taken to hanging around the local green pipe, morosely staring into its depths and muttering things like, “It’s not me, Mario!” And instead of a triumphant “Woohoo,” he’d taken sniffing “Boohoo” sadly.
She supposed she’d have to feign a kidnap on her way to the castle this morning just to give him something to do. Toadstool had offered to do the deed, but she didn’t think that a 2-foot tall toadstool posed much of a challenge. Or a threat. But she wasn’t too worried. She was sure she’d come up with some idea.
“You know, Princess, you should invite Luigi over. I’m sure that would cheer Mario right up,” squeaked the be-speckled toadstool toddling next to her.
“I would,” sighed Princess Peach, “but Luigi is visiting Daisy again on Yoshi’s island and you know how that goes.”
Luigi had taken to visiting Yoshi’s island in order to visit Princess`s Peach`s cousin Daisy who lived on Yoshi`s island with the adorable dinosaur natives which she bred and trained as Mario and Luigi`s faithful, if scatterbrained, rides. Although Mario approved of the match, there were instances when Luigi was gone for months at a time. And every time he returned to the castle, he came back tanned, healthy, and glowing with satisfaction. In short, he was insufferably happy.
Then again, why couldn’t Mario be satisfied with a princess who could take care of herself? Luigi was happy with his career woman. Princess Peach stomped on the ground angrily and her pink gown swished in a gentle fashion. Wasn’t it enough that she could do karate in her state-gown? You didn’t see Mario or Luigi fighting in ballroom dresses. Besides, you’d think that he’d get tired of rescuing her from Bowser’s castle. And, honestly. Wasn’t Bowser tired of kidnapping her? Why couldn’t he find another princess? He should kidnap her precious cousin Daisy. Kidnap Luigi’s girlfriend... What a stellar idea! Yes, she was certain that would solve all their problems.
It was in the midst of this reverie that she heard the token “Ha Ha Ha” that meant Bowser was up to no good.
“Toadstool, come on!” she shouted as she ran the rest of the way down the road, around the corner and... Blinked. She blinked again. Then, she rubbed her eyes vigorously with the back of her knuckles and leaned forward a little bit. What in hell (which she privately thought was level eight of Bowser’s ridiculously booby-trapped kingdom) was going on?
“Princess...” gasped Toadstool as he came to a hasty stop beside her. She waited patiently for a few seconds as he struggled to regain his breath.
“Princess,” he began again “there’s another princess over there!” She noticed with a grimace that Toadstool’s eyes looked about ready to pop right out of his mushroom-capped head.
“Yes, Toadstool. I noticed.”
“Princess, Mario’s here! And Bowser!” he continued on.
“Hand me a mushroom,” she interrupted as she noticed Mario reaching for the wrench hanging from his work-belt.
“Princess Peach, you know that they aren’t mushrooms, they’re toadstools and...” Toadstool began to blubber as he met her sudden, steely-eyed gaze. “... And here you are, Princess.” He handed her a red toadstool with curious purple spots.
Peach took the toadstool and immediately grew about twenty-feet tall. These toadstools were from Toadstool’s special crop and they tasted like the inside of her shoe. Peach scowled and then sighed, and the gust of air that came out of her mouth caused Mario’s cap to fly off his head, revealing curly, black hair. Dammit, she’d have to be careful not to scare them too badly. She should have known that it was going to be a bad day.
“Excuse me,” she said quietly, realizing that her voice always got louder when she grew twenty-feet tall. “Who is that woman?”
Bowser and Mario were too busy staring at her like slack-jawed idiots to respond. Noticing that the other princess was making serious efforts to return to consciousness, Princess Peach wasted no time in picking both Bowser and Mario up in either hand. Settling them in the palm of her right hand, she leveled her now-gigantic eyes at them. “I said, who is that woman?”
Princess Peach had had a rough morning. Bowser had attempted to kidnap her no less than three times before 8am. Luckily, she’d been able to fend him off without any major problems. Ever since she’d taken those self-defense courses at the local police station (she thanked Toadstool silently for coming up with that idea - police keeping Bowser away? she was stupid not to have thought of it earlier) keeping Bowser at bay had become a cinch. In fact, Bowser wasn’t too much of a challenge at all these days. One good backwards spin kick to the chin and he was out for fifteen minutes. Unfortunately, this new attitude of hers didn’t do much for Mario’s self-confidence. Her mustachioed hero had taken to hanging around the local green pipe, morosely staring into its depths and muttering things like, “It’s not me, Mario!” And instead of a triumphant “Woohoo,” he’d taken sniffing “Boohoo” sadly.
She supposed she’d have to feign a kidnap on her way to the castle this morning just to give him something to do. Toadstool had offered to do the deed, but she didn’t think that a 2-foot tall toadstool posed much of a challenge. Or a threat. But she wasn’t too worried. She was sure she’d come up with some idea.
“You know, Princess, you should invite Luigi over. I’m sure that would cheer Mario right up,” squeaked the be-speckled toadstool toddling next to her.
“I would,” sighed Princess Peach, “but Luigi is visiting Daisy again on Yoshi’s island and you know how that goes.”
Luigi had taken to visiting Yoshi’s island in order to visit Princess`s Peach`s cousin Daisy who lived on Yoshi`s island with the adorable dinosaur natives which she bred and trained as Mario and Luigi`s faithful, if scatterbrained, rides. Although Mario approved of the match, there were instances when Luigi was gone for months at a time. And every time he returned to the castle, he came back tanned, healthy, and glowing with satisfaction. In short, he was insufferably happy.
Then again, why couldn’t Mario be satisfied with a princess who could take care of herself? Luigi was happy with his career woman. Princess Peach stomped on the ground angrily and her pink gown swished in a gentle fashion. Wasn’t it enough that she could do karate in her state-gown? You didn’t see Mario or Luigi fighting in ballroom dresses. Besides, you’d think that he’d get tired of rescuing her from Bowser’s castle. And, honestly. Wasn’t Bowser tired of kidnapping her? Why couldn’t he find another princess? He should kidnap her precious cousin Daisy. Kidnap Luigi’s girlfriend... What a stellar idea! Yes, she was certain that would solve all their problems.
It was in the midst of this reverie that she heard the token “Ha Ha Ha” that meant Bowser was up to no good.
“Toadstool, come on!” she shouted as she ran the rest of the way down the road, around the corner and... Blinked. She blinked again. Then, she rubbed her eyes vigorously with the back of her knuckles and leaned forward a little bit. What in hell (which she privately thought was level eight of Bowser’s ridiculously booby-trapped kingdom) was going on?
“Princess...” gasped Toadstool as he came to a hasty stop beside her. She waited patiently for a few seconds as he struggled to regain his breath.
“Princess,” he began again “there’s another princess over there!” She noticed with a grimace that Toadstool’s eyes looked about ready to pop right out of his mushroom-capped head.
“Yes, Toadstool. I noticed.”
“Princess, Mario’s here! And Bowser!” he continued on.
“Hand me a mushroom,” she interrupted as she noticed Mario reaching for the wrench hanging from his work-belt.
“Princess Peach, you know that they aren’t mushrooms, they’re toadstools and...” Toadstool began to blubber as he met her sudden, steely-eyed gaze. “... And here you are, Princess.” He handed her a red toadstool with curious purple spots.
Peach took the toadstool and immediately grew about twenty-feet tall. These toadstools were from Toadstool’s special crop and they tasted like the inside of her shoe. Peach scowled and then sighed, and the gust of air that came out of her mouth caused Mario’s cap to fly off his head, revealing curly, black hair. Dammit, she’d have to be careful not to scare them too badly. She should have known that it was going to be a bad day.
“Excuse me,” she said quietly, realizing that her voice always got louder when she grew twenty-feet tall. “Who is that woman?”
Bowser and Mario were too busy staring at her like slack-jawed idiots to respond. Noticing that the other princess was making serious efforts to return to consciousness, Princess Peach wasted no time in picking both Bowser and Mario up in either hand. Settling them in the palm of her right hand, she leveled her now-gigantic eyes at them. “I said, who is that woman?”