(no subject)
the last several days i've been feeling incredibly terrible about myself, and i can't understand why. i nearly started crying today, and that's when i knew something was wrong. i haven't cried since prom night, or when aaron died, and it's not very often that i do. all i know is that i don't like it at all. i have little desire lately to talk to most people, i'm feeling dull and bored. yesterday, i went record shopping with peter (dreamboat annie oh oh ♥). i was supposed to go to the movies and see spiderman 2 with rae, neil, and tim, but i fell asleep at 8:30 because summer-induced insomnia, and general apathy, finally caught up with me. this is not me at all, to be so low. rachel called me today. i heart her, she's one of the few people i know that i want to be friends with when i'm a hundred years old. and one of the few i can see being there for that long. she told me today that i'm the "most forgiving" person she knows.
but lately i've not been in my most forgiving mood. i feel totally hurt and "nobody's allowed to hurt katie." godiloverachel. she's going to alaska in a few weeks, which sucks because when she comes back i'm leaving. i wish i was going to alaska with her. fernando called me today too. i saw/drank with him on saturday and talked to him on sunday. and he called me today. from puerto rico. what. i need a vacation, badly. the siren festival is coming up soon, i'm thinking of spending four or five days in nyc. i think the (temporary) change would do me good.
i'm thinking about going to rain tonight, with meghan and amanda. or with tara and hillary and the etc. and being a slut. who knows though, i'm superbroke. and it's not like they'd play the secret machines or anything good. pssht. i hate club music.
ps, i love my skirt.
EDIT: HOLYFUCKANOTHERNEWINTERPOLSONG. CLICK KIDS.