Things in Life
I feel like I want much in life but I feel like I will never get it. What I'd like and feel like I really need:
A Steady Job - I've never worked for a company longer than 3.5 years. I would get laid off after 2-3 years because of contracts and supposedly nothing that was my fault. The company would usually try and find me more work but nothing would come of it. I decided that the last time that happened in 2010, I'd take a little time off and just freelance because I didn't want to go back into a corporate cube farm and didn't want to take yet another job that I would eventually get laid off from in a couple of years. Well it's been 6 years later and I'm still freelancing. I've had interviews for permanent jobs in the past couple of years but can't seem to land anything. I don't if it is because I've hit the over 40 mark, I come across too depressed, or I just don't have what it takes any more. Additionally frustrating is that I've had companies contact me and had those jobs just evaporate, which is equally frustrating. The positions that I have had I've done well at and some I would have been brought on permanently if there was money. So I think I'm just not good enough. I'm great when companies need someone in a pinch but in the long run, companies want someone better and I'm not it. I don't know how to be "it" other than spending a lot more money getting another degree, which may or may not pay off. I just think I'm over 40 and this is the way it is going to be from now on. i'm also short, not pretty, and kind of dumpy so that all works against me too.
A House in Shepardstown, WV - I've been trying to find jobs and move out of NoVA for a while now. The Wesley and I really love Shepardstown, WV and feel like we belong there. It's affordable, historic, and open-minded partially because of the university there. We've looked at houses and been up there many times. I know the surrounding area because that's where I play polo. Again, we seem to be shut out of it because neither of us can find a job. I've had 5 interviews in the past year for jobs up there and nothing has panned out. I don't know what to do to change that. The Wesley is also stuck because of working as a car salesperson and that is the kiss of death. A masters in French, 10 year of teaching, and other work doesn't matter. Employers only see car sales and toss the resume. We've looked elsewhere as well and are willing to consider other areas but the more rural the area, the fewer jobs. Shepardstown has the advantage of being close enough to DC to have some government facitlities nearby as well as a bit of local industry and the little college.
I don't think that moving and getting a new job will make life perfect. It will get me out of the rut and make life better. Wesley needs a new job regardless and I need something permanent. Neither of us will ever be able to afford a house in NoVA because prices are just too high. We want to live somewhere more rural with a cheaper cost of living and slower pace of life. Both of us are in our 40s an we see nothing better in our future than living paycheck to paycheck and never getting ahead again. We haven't taken a vacation in years and we rarely do anything fun or even go out to dinner someplace nice. Wesley gets no time off so it's rare that we have a Sunday together The best we can do is day trip if we have a little extra money.
The tl;dr version is that I want a chance to be a boring adult with a modest house, a partner, and ideally my own horse. I don't feel like now I'll ever get that chance. The housing market has surpassed us and we'll be stuck living paycheck to paycheck.
I can see why people are disallusioned and voting for Trump. That makes me very sad and disheartened as well. I see this country getting worse and people just getting angrier. Life should be better than that.
A Steady Job - I've never worked for a company longer than 3.5 years. I would get laid off after 2-3 years because of contracts and supposedly nothing that was my fault. The company would usually try and find me more work but nothing would come of it. I decided that the last time that happened in 2010, I'd take a little time off and just freelance because I didn't want to go back into a corporate cube farm and didn't want to take yet another job that I would eventually get laid off from in a couple of years. Well it's been 6 years later and I'm still freelancing. I've had interviews for permanent jobs in the past couple of years but can't seem to land anything. I don't if it is because I've hit the over 40 mark, I come across too depressed, or I just don't have what it takes any more. Additionally frustrating is that I've had companies contact me and had those jobs just evaporate, which is equally frustrating. The positions that I have had I've done well at and some I would have been brought on permanently if there was money. So I think I'm just not good enough. I'm great when companies need someone in a pinch but in the long run, companies want someone better and I'm not it. I don't know how to be "it" other than spending a lot more money getting another degree, which may or may not pay off. I just think I'm over 40 and this is the way it is going to be from now on. i'm also short, not pretty, and kind of dumpy so that all works against me too.
A House in Shepardstown, WV - I've been trying to find jobs and move out of NoVA for a while now. The Wesley and I really love Shepardstown, WV and feel like we belong there. It's affordable, historic, and open-minded partially because of the university there. We've looked at houses and been up there many times. I know the surrounding area because that's where I play polo. Again, we seem to be shut out of it because neither of us can find a job. I've had 5 interviews in the past year for jobs up there and nothing has panned out. I don't know what to do to change that. The Wesley is also stuck because of working as a car salesperson and that is the kiss of death. A masters in French, 10 year of teaching, and other work doesn't matter. Employers only see car sales and toss the resume. We've looked elsewhere as well and are willing to consider other areas but the more rural the area, the fewer jobs. Shepardstown has the advantage of being close enough to DC to have some government facitlities nearby as well as a bit of local industry and the little college.
I don't think that moving and getting a new job will make life perfect. It will get me out of the rut and make life better. Wesley needs a new job regardless and I need something permanent. Neither of us will ever be able to afford a house in NoVA because prices are just too high. We want to live somewhere more rural with a cheaper cost of living and slower pace of life. Both of us are in our 40s an we see nothing better in our future than living paycheck to paycheck and never getting ahead again. We haven't taken a vacation in years and we rarely do anything fun or even go out to dinner someplace nice. Wesley gets no time off so it's rare that we have a Sunday together The best we can do is day trip if we have a little extra money.
The tl;dr version is that I want a chance to be a boring adult with a modest house, a partner, and ideally my own horse. I don't feel like now I'll ever get that chance. The housing market has surpassed us and we'll be stuck living paycheck to paycheck.
I can see why people are disallusioned and voting for Trump. That makes me very sad and disheartened as well. I see this country getting worse and people just getting angrier. Life should be better than that.