blahblah THOUGHTSSSS // Voice.

[stopthat_destro]

If you're on the Barge for long enough, you'll almost certainly have your identity altered so completely that you become a different person-- temporarily, of course. Complete histories and personalities, memories, experiences, relationships that aren't really yours.  And yet, despite their artificial nature, they certainly feel real.  They feel,

Comments

[Private]

[majorum_pride]

[Oh Rex, you've inspired all of the triggering today. All of it.]

Don't you know? They tell me it wasn't me, so it doesn't matter. So I shouldn't care what happens to my flood self, because it wasn't me and it wasn't you. Obviously if we care, there's something wrong with us. So we just shouldn't care.

[You can hear the twitch. Hear it.]

[Private]

[stopthat_destro]

[He can totally hear the twitch.]

...Ah uh. Well, people tend to react idiotically to floods.

[Private]

[majorum_pride]

[Dial it back. Dial it back. Try to broach it like a logical problem, and not a thing that inexplicably makes him angry to think about.]

I lived two different timelines outside of the barge. One shorter than the other. But they were my choices, and my paths to take.

These aren't. So I'm not sure whether to consider them any less me. ...Even when they share almost identical backgrounds. [Mirrors, mirrors.]

[Private]

[stopthat_destro]

It's easier to accept an identity when you're the one who created it. I don't know if it makes the others any less valid... in their way. Unpleasant, to say the least.

[Private]

[majorum_pride]

[Damn, this is difficult. He doesn't want to admit that he's bothered by it, but he is. He so very is, and he feels that control slip from his grasp so easily.]

I would ask if something extremely bad has happened to you during one of these incidents, but that seems almost laughable.

But I see now why it was worth it to try and go through anyone and anything to try and force your hand over the ship.

[Private]

[stopthat_destro]

Interestingly, my experiences unaltered by new identities have been consistently worse than any breach.

It wasn't worth it because it failed, and now I have to live with the consequences. Whatever "crimes" you've been sentenced here for... would you feel they were worth it if all of your other shipmates were people you've wronged? People with long memories, grudges, vendettas.

[Private] Nnnng. Hate my replies tonight.

[majorum_pride]

The crimes I was sentenced for I committed to stop the Magog. Maybe Harper mentioned them.

But to be trapped on here with a herd of them would be a nightmare. But... that's not why I said what I said. I don't agree with what you did [and he tactically disagrees with how he did it], but I can see why you did it. I'm a philosopher and a tactician, and I was used as blind muscle and the only person I attacked was the only person here at the time that cared about me.

But after everything that's happened, I can also say I am more than willing to accept why you did what you did.

[Private]

[stopthat_destro]

He did. But I don't mean the Magog. I mean imagine yourself trapped with whoever you harmed in pursuit of them.

Hm. Thank you. I guess.

[Private]

[majorum_pride]

I already was.

Your Harper hated me. My Harper was a close and trusted friend.

[Private]

[stopthat_destro]

"My" Harper was one person, not an entire ship.