[125] Death Tolling Like a Motherfucker // Text/Spam

[stopthat_destro]

Doctor, Claire, Franklin can I speak with see you?

I'm in the infirmary.

Obviously.

[And that's all he's typing, because he doesn't want to talk to the Barge :C HE JUST HAS TO MAKE IT PUBLIC FOR LACK OF FILTERS.]

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[championoftime]

[The Doctor saw the message and predictably didn't respond. Instead, he practically sprinted the short distance between his room and the infirmary. He could already imagine how he felt, really probably already knew how he felt.

He went directly to Rex's bedside, and he knew... well, he knew that it made Rex uncomfortable. But he had to try. He had to talk to him. He took his hand and held it firmly.] I'm here if you need me. [Despite everything, he was still there.]

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[stopthat_destro]

[Rex nodded, allowing the Doctor to take his hand. He offered it a squeeze in return, then pulled his hand away-- not because he didn't like the gesture, but because he needed both hands to write. He grabbed a notebook and pen, not wishing to type anything, for fear it might accidentally end up on the network.]

I've made my decision, about who I want to be.

[He held up the notepad for the Doctor, then continued writing.]

I can't don't want to live like this, Doctor.

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[championoftime]

[He frowned at the words, not because that he disagreed, or that he knew it would take more than something superficial like appearance. But... That he knew how badly it must have hurt for Rex to come to that decision.]

It'll be for the best, I think. Sometimes we need the chance to be someone else, when we wear ourselves out.

[He couldn't help but liken it to regeneration. And he pet Rex on top of his head.] Don't worry. I won't have you in here indecent. I'll leave my hat with you.

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[stopthat_destro]

[He nodded and wrote:]

It will be different this time. Without Armand.

[And without Wichita, too. A consideration that was still painful for him. Both of them had made it difficult for him to face himself in the mirror, when he had a face that was "easier" for others to look at. Without Wichita, it reminded him of her absence, of all of the "first" experiences he had with her, starting with her visiting him in the infirmary after his surgery. With Armand... it reminded him of every foul and terrible thing the vampire had done to him. He always wondered if Armand targeted him so intently because of his face. It was the face of a victim, of vampire bait. He wanted to cut it off.

Now, however... something had to give. He held a distracted look on his face for a few moments, then blinked and looked at the Doctor, trying to offer some kind of smile, although it was difficult, and wrote:]

It may clash with the hospital gown.

[Pause, then he continued.]

What methods are available to me, Doctor?

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[championoftime]

When have I cared about clashing? [He lifted his chin proudly, but the motion turned into one of thought.]

I know how to use the dermal regenerator here. There are probably others, including magical. I can ask around. [They might be more willing to oblige him than requests directly from Rex.]

It'll be better without Armand. You'll belong to no one. No person should look in the mirror and see a victim or a monster, and I believe sometimes, no matter what your form, that's what you've found staring back at you.

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[stopthat_destro]

[He considered the suggestions, then wrote:]

And my respiratory system?

[As an afterthought:]

No magic. I don't trust any of them.

[Snape, Tony, any of the gods... He wasn't going to put his health in any of their hands. His shoulders tensed a little, and he gave a small nod. The Doctor was correct. Such things drove Rex's identity issues, the strange disassociation he felt with his "real" face, the way he hid behind this one to excuse his "monstrous" behavior, to preemptively push everyone away from him.]

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[championoftime]

That could be fixed, as well. I simply need to adjust some of the infirmary equipment. It may take a few treatments. [He never looked at Rex's files but he could guess that Rex's lungs were ravaged.]

And no magic, then. [He let his hand rest on his head.] However it's done, it has to be a way that you're going to be pleased with. So no matter what you choose I want your involvement. It shouldn't be a miracle. It should be every bit the accomplishment that your ventilator has been. If you can construct these nanomites, that breathing apparatus, then you should be able to feel the same pride in restoring yourself.

[Nnng. He'd need to talk to Harper about something, but an idea struck him. He may have heard of medically restorative nano-technology, but he'd have to ask his elder self and then talk to Harper about it.] Has anyone else given you any ideas.

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[stopthat_destro]

[Rex smiled this time, the expression genuine, rather than forced. The Doctor knew; he understood why Rex never asked the Admiral for a magic fix. At the Doctor's question, he thought a few moments, then began writing again.]

Not really. I usually get questions about the nanomites, why I never used them.

[He's not going to get into the many reasons for that right now.]

Claire has offered me her blood [That just sounds bad.] A blood transfusion. Apparently, the healing properties can work wonders on others. Harper has my research on that.

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[championoftime]

Oh, uh.... I'll ask Mr. Harper if I can have a look at it, with your permission, of course. [That might be a good option, too. Though he still plans to look into the secondary one.

He hated that Rex couldn't speak.]

Until your lungs are remedied and when you feel well enough to leave, you can make use of the TARDIS again. [Yes, he knew it was a dangerous offer with Rex's history. But he'd done good by the Doctor once. He trusted him to continue to do well by him.]

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[stopthat_destro]

You can.

[He stared at the Doctor for a few moments, blinking, not anticipating the offer. Then, he nodded and wrote:] Thank you.

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[championoftime]

[Right now he's having a moment of believing humanity to be a lot of apes, but he knows better than to tell everyone that he's thinking this.] Harper cares for you a lot. I'm glad he was returned to you, even if not all at once.

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[stopthat_destro]

[Rex nodded, but he didn't add anything to that sentiment. There was nothing he could write that could articulate how he felt about that-- or, at least, nothing he was comfortable expressing to anybody.]

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[championoftime]

[He stared. All compassion and worry, knowing there were just too many emotions that Rex must be feeling right now. After all of it. After everything. And to die in the same sort of place that his sister had been attacked in, only by a normal human. Not a vampire. Just a brawny ape.

He rests his hands lightly against his cheeks, leans forward, and gives him an obnoxiously loud kiss on the forehead.] I'll stay on shift in the infirmary for a bit, so I'll be about if you need me.

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[stopthat_destro]

[He smiled a little, the playful kiss helping to lighten his mood, even if he wasn't accustomed to it.]

You're too kind for your own good.

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[championoftime]

Rex, if anything you've shown me I'm just the right amount of kind. [And he believed it. Because still, even through disappointment (largely selfish disappointment) he couldn't regret being Rex's friend. Those few smiles were worth it.]