(no subject)
Let's recap. The last two weeks have been amazing. Far more amazing than anything that has ever happened in my entire life. This is real, and honestly, I'm not sure I'm handling it well. I met a new boy, who, by the way, is fabulous. I won't put more detail than that because this entire journal entry would turn into just that, a description of a boy I decided to open up to. Oddly, this is the first time I feel any sort of real interest for a boy since Mike, three and a half years ago. Since then, nothing. There has been no boy that I am absolutely sure I'd give a chance to but Mike in the last three years and well, maybe 4 months. Then, new boy interrupts my life which included missing friends, but not enough to cry, being excited about going home, being excited about doing touristy things, and then of course-- seeing Mike back in Chicago. No, new boy, from fairyland up north with the penguins and panda rugs decides to barge in and get to know me too. If I were here longer, I'd give him a shot. He's definitely a challenge, well, a challenge I won't ever be able to take on.
Anyways-- aside from the interest which only partially exists because I leave in 3 days so it's more like a fairytale (with the prince from fairyland). I miss my friends, already. I can't stop crying. I won't lie, I spent enough time missing Chicago while I've been in London that I've become absolutely numb. I can't miss anymore, I don't miss. No offense to any friends, I love them all, but I just can't miss anymore. I want to be in London for just a few more months with my girls, maybe 3. I only need about $500. Anyone interested? I'm not sure Chase Bank will fund me any more. We spent the night exchanging music, and tomorrow we exchange photos. Tomorrow, or, today (if you please) I will be getting drunk early. We're supposed to do afternoon thai. But, it's 5am and I havent been able to sleep from the excessive and slightly over dramatic crying.
I need a break. I'm not done packing and I want to finish tomorrow. I wish I could have a friend, someone from home maybe that hasn't been with me the entire time I;ve been here that could just walk to the park with me, sit me down, and just let me talk about how its been here and why I feel as terrible as I do going home and how home is and how amazing it is to come home. I feel like I need to let it out, explain this break in my life, this divide that will bother me for a long time.
I do live a double life, I couldn't explain it to most people.
Miriel
Anyways-- aside from the interest which only partially exists because I leave in 3 days so it's more like a fairytale (with the prince from fairyland). I miss my friends, already. I can't stop crying. I won't lie, I spent enough time missing Chicago while I've been in London that I've become absolutely numb. I can't miss anymore, I don't miss. No offense to any friends, I love them all, but I just can't miss anymore. I want to be in London for just a few more months with my girls, maybe 3. I only need about $500. Anyone interested? I'm not sure Chase Bank will fund me any more. We spent the night exchanging music, and tomorrow we exchange photos. Tomorrow, or, today (if you please) I will be getting drunk early. We're supposed to do afternoon thai. But, it's 5am and I havent been able to sleep from the excessive and slightly over dramatic crying.
I need a break. I'm not done packing and I want to finish tomorrow. I wish I could have a friend, someone from home maybe that hasn't been with me the entire time I;ve been here that could just walk to the park with me, sit me down, and just let me talk about how its been here and why I feel as terrible as I do going home and how home is and how amazing it is to come home. I feel like I need to let it out, explain this break in my life, this divide that will bother me for a long time.
I do live a double life, I couldn't explain it to most people.
Miriel