most honest
I have been doing so much better with the stupid drunk dials
and feeling so vulnerable that i make myself crazy
and sit all alone on my balcony chain smoking and drinking cheap liquor
I am over austin, and even hanging on to that friendship with a thread, its pretty sad
I was in the process of healing all of my wounds that had to do with wally.
when we broke up . we broke up
i was sad and bitter and angry
but i finally got it and left him alone and did my own thing
and then he decides to start talking to me again
and of course we start hanging out again
staying at my house, going to my friends house, etc. everything.
things happened, and it was whatever.
he has always made me out to be the bad person
and always at fault
he constantly bring up the fact that i cheated on him
( thats supposed to make it okay with the dick things he does to me now)
So
moral of the story
i found out that he cheated on me with the nastiest gurl ever.
granted it was while we were going out which was a bit ago
but it doesn't make it any easier and seeing as i still like him, it makes me feel terrible.
this gurl was chunky, kankles, and ugly tattoos
she had even made a remark to me "wally i didn't know your gurlfriend was so beautiful"
and such things.
my feelings aren't even really hurt, and i'm not sad. I just feel completly disgusted wth him.
and not only that, but when i called him last night, completly and utterly shitfaced
he avoided the fact that i was asking him if this happend and saying
who's talking shit, who told you that, its my business not yours
(which it is my business if it happend while we were together)
so he finally admitted it in a "i dont give a fuck" type of way.
im over it.
i plan on getting shithoused tonite and breaking stuff
and i just want to be done with him and cut all ties
this has dragged on for way too long and i'm tired of being let down.
but he is the only person i have ever loved this much
and has hurt me this much
its pretty sad that i have put up with this bs for so long
POOF - peace bitch