so
i haven't wrote in this shit for a while.
basic update: things are getting worse as the days go on.
pretty negative, but true.
i am so overwhelemed with everything right now, it's not even funny.
i just want school to be over.
i just wish things at home would just, stop.
not even go back to the way things were, cause that'd be too hard, i wish my parents would just, stop trying.
my dad told me he has an interview with a military school and a christian school, in another city, and that i will be sent there.
he told me my fate has allready been determined.
and i dont know what the fuck i am going to do.
all i know, is that i'm not going to either.
i think i'm going to sit down with my mom and try to figure out something, cause something has got to change.
my dad also told me my parents are separating, because of me.
that's the second time he's told me that, and it didn't happen the first time, so i dont know whether or not to believe him.
i wish shit could just be, easier.
my life is at such a pivital moment.
it scares me, cause i dont know what the fuck to do.
and i dont know what the fucks going to happen.
and i dont know why this is happening.
i dont want to sound all dramatic, but it seems as if my life is really falling apart.
i need help.
and i need guidance.
but there is no one to provide me with the knowledge i need.
i guess i'll have to figure this all out the hard way.
i think i'm going to run away once school is out.
i dont see any other solution to my problems.
and that, isn't really a solution.
it's just a delay, pretty much.
god.
i better come out of this a better, stronger, and smarter person, because i'm reeeeaaaalllyyyyyyy struggling here.
and all i can do is think about it to myself.
uncertainty seriously drives me insane.
and thats all my lifes been, pretty much since i turned 16.
basic update: things are getting worse as the days go on.
pretty negative, but true.
i am so overwhelemed with everything right now, it's not even funny.
i just want school to be over.
i just wish things at home would just, stop.
not even go back to the way things were, cause that'd be too hard, i wish my parents would just, stop trying.
my dad told me he has an interview with a military school and a christian school, in another city, and that i will be sent there.
he told me my fate has allready been determined.
and i dont know what the fuck i am going to do.
all i know, is that i'm not going to either.
i think i'm going to sit down with my mom and try to figure out something, cause something has got to change.
my dad also told me my parents are separating, because of me.
that's the second time he's told me that, and it didn't happen the first time, so i dont know whether or not to believe him.
i wish shit could just be, easier.
my life is at such a pivital moment.
it scares me, cause i dont know what the fuck to do.
and i dont know what the fucks going to happen.
and i dont know why this is happening.
i dont want to sound all dramatic, but it seems as if my life is really falling apart.
i need help.
and i need guidance.
but there is no one to provide me with the knowledge i need.
i guess i'll have to figure this all out the hard way.
i think i'm going to run away once school is out.
i dont see any other solution to my problems.
and that, isn't really a solution.
it's just a delay, pretty much.
god.
i better come out of this a better, stronger, and smarter person, because i'm reeeeaaaalllyyyyyyy struggling here.
and all i can do is think about it to myself.
uncertainty seriously drives me insane.
and thats all my lifes been, pretty much since i turned 16.