(no subject)
First entry so snarks (which are in bold) are probably crap.
I believe this abomination satisfies the criteria: complete inability to spell, bad grammar, lack of plot, totally out of canon. It's pretty much porn whose characters happen to have the same names as Harry Potter characters.
Found on fanfiction.net
Title: Love You
Author: unjustbecky
Genre: Porn Romance
Rating: R for the sheer pain it causes readers.
Pairing: It's actually an orgy of Harry, Draco, Snape, Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy
Short extract:
The next morning everyone hurried into the great hall. There was a rumor going around that something big waas going on and it all started from the slythrins The whats?!
just one infact. Harry walked in and sat near Draco who put a protective arm around him. Which isn't weird at all given that the author has explained exactly how Harry's arch nemesis came to change his mind so completely. /sarcasm.
Harry looked up as all the teachers walked and all of them except Snape had a worried expression on their face. Dumbledore came striding in then. Harry seeing him wimpered Spell check is your FRIEND. and pushed himself as close as he could to Draco and tried hiding his face. The Slythrins had all found out what Dumbledore had done and all were now glaring at him. Dumbledore stood in front of everyone and cleared his voice
“everyone i would like to anouce something”
The room suddenly went quit as everyone looked at him as they had no idea what on earth "anoucing" was.
“I would like to tell everyone that I have been watching the boys shower and change and I have raped a student and if given the time I will do it again cause I like young kids” So the wise, powerful, kindly Dumbledore is now a child raping pervert? Oh the pain of it all!
The kids started to get out of hand after that. Students were running around trying to get out of the hall and the teachers were to shocked to help. Harry looked up at the staff table and saw Snape smirking as if he had something to do with it.
----
That afternoon The minister and around eight aurors came marching into the school with a determind look upon all their faces. Dumbledore was in the foyer standing there as if he knew what was coming. Snape touched Harry's arm. Speaking of perverts...
“it's allright Harry”
Harry nodded and looked up to see someone point a wand at Dumbledore and yell.
“ADVA KADAVA”(sp?)Oh so now she asks for spelling tips? Does she not have a Harry Potter book herself?
Harry blinked and watched as Dumbledore just crumpled to the floor and just lay there with blank eyes. Snape smirked Repetition of "just" and lack of appropriate grammar. Minus 5 marks.
“He got what he deserved” He admitted he liked young boys after doing Harry. As opposed to Snape who is...oh wait...Watch out Snape. I guess you deserve to die.
Harry nodded and glanced up as Snape turned and started to walk off
“Harry would you like to come over and have a drink?”
Harry smiled slightly and followed him. Once in the rooms Harry suddenly through his arms around Snape. Harry did what with his arms? I think I just fell through one of the huge holes in this "plot".
“Please Sev give me a new memory”
Snape gazed at him with shock
“But Harry you where just raped” GET A BETA FOR GOD'S SAKE!
Harry blinked back tears
“I know...I...I just want...want to forget that” OBLIVIATE!
Snape sighed and led Harry into his rooms
“are you sure?”
Harry nodded
----------- SEX SCENE--------------- Perhaps not then. *Winces* Obviously too much to hope for that the author would make the character behave in a believable way.
A slightly graphic sex scene does indeed follow this.
It's as if it was written by a 5 year old who's just read a gay porn magazine. Read her other works for Mpreg and Harry with wings.
I believe this abomination satisfies the criteria: complete inability to spell, bad grammar, lack of plot, totally out of canon. It's pretty much porn whose characters happen to have the same names as Harry Potter characters.
Found on fanfiction.net
Title: Love You
Author: unjustbecky
Genre: Porn Romance
Rating: R for the sheer pain it causes readers.
Pairing: It's actually an orgy of Harry, Draco, Snape, Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy
Short extract:
The next morning everyone hurried into the great hall. There was a rumor going around that something big waas going on and it all started from the slythrins The whats?!
just one infact. Harry walked in and sat near Draco who put a protective arm around him. Which isn't weird at all given that the author has explained exactly how Harry's arch nemesis came to change his mind so completely. /sarcasm.
Harry looked up as all the teachers walked and all of them except Snape had a worried expression on their face. Dumbledore came striding in then. Harry seeing him wimpered Spell check is your FRIEND. and pushed himself as close as he could to Draco and tried hiding his face. The Slythrins had all found out what Dumbledore had done and all were now glaring at him. Dumbledore stood in front of everyone and cleared his voice
“everyone i would like to anouce something”
The room suddenly went quit as everyone looked at him as they had no idea what on earth "anoucing" was.
“I would like to tell everyone that I have been watching the boys shower and change and I have raped a student and if given the time I will do it again cause I like young kids” So the wise, powerful, kindly Dumbledore is now a child raping pervert? Oh the pain of it all!
The kids started to get out of hand after that. Students were running around trying to get out of the hall and the teachers were to shocked to help. Harry looked up at the staff table and saw Snape smirking as if he had something to do with it.
----
That afternoon The minister and around eight aurors came marching into the school with a determind look upon all their faces. Dumbledore was in the foyer standing there as if he knew what was coming. Snape touched Harry's arm. Speaking of perverts...
“it's allright Harry”
Harry nodded and looked up to see someone point a wand at Dumbledore and yell.
“ADVA KADAVA”(sp?)Oh so now she asks for spelling tips? Does she not have a Harry Potter book herself?
Harry blinked and watched as Dumbledore just crumpled to the floor and just lay there with blank eyes. Snape smirked Repetition of "just" and lack of appropriate grammar. Minus 5 marks.
“He got what he deserved” He admitted he liked young boys after doing Harry. As opposed to Snape who is...oh wait...Watch out Snape. I guess you deserve to die.
Harry nodded and glanced up as Snape turned and started to walk off
“Harry would you like to come over and have a drink?”
Harry smiled slightly and followed him. Once in the rooms Harry suddenly through his arms around Snape. Harry did what with his arms? I think I just fell through one of the huge holes in this "plot".
“Please Sev give me a new memory”
Snape gazed at him with shock
“But Harry you where just raped” GET A BETA FOR GOD'S SAKE!
Harry blinked back tears
“I know...I...I just want...want to forget that” OBLIVIATE!
Snape sighed and led Harry into his rooms
“are you sure?”
Harry nodded
----------- SEX SCENE--------------- Perhaps not then. *Winces* Obviously too much to hope for that the author would make the character behave in a believable way.
A slightly graphic sex scene does indeed follow this.
It's as if it was written by a 5 year old who's just read a gay porn magazine. Read her other works for Mpreg and Harry with wings.