When you seek advice, go to the best master in the field you know.

[maple_syrup_can]

Who: Canada and Italy
maple_syrup_can, p_p_p_pasta
What: This is serious. Canada is getting dating advice from Italy. (Provided the guy can notice Canada first.)
When: December 26, early afternoon
Where: Class Act
Warnings: none, I hope...

Comments

[p_p_p_pasta]

At first, Italy thought that somehow, and against all odds, his new 'I will eat nothing but pasta and gelato for breakfast, lunch and dinner, just try and stop me' diet had made him grow super macho over the past couple of months. After all, he just opened up a heavy kitchen door with nothing but the strength of his big toe and a mighty roar (re: whimper).

So when what he could only describe as a vague silhouette manifested itself in front of him, he felt his ego deflate a little.

That was, of course, just before the intense fear set in.

Italy suddenly lurched forward (complete with crates full of tomatoes, onions, and some strange purple things that he'd never seen before), shrieking in surprise and terror. Dutifully, he threw himself to the floor, prostrating at Canada's feet.

"DON'T HURT ME, MR. KITCHEN GHOST!!! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU!!!"

[maple_syrup_can]

"I-Italy--"

Surprised that it was Italy and not some animal that had come through the door, he was completely unprepared for what happened next. He tried to reach out and catch some of the food at it went tumbling past him, but he only managed to break the fall of a box of purple stuff. (What was it anyways?)

But dealing with Italy was more trouble than dealing with the scattered produce. 'Kitchen ghost'?!

"Italy, it's Canada. Canada." Trying very hard to control his disgruntlement (he was here to ask a favour, after all), Canada knelt down close to Italy. "Canada, you know? Of course I'm not gonna hurt you."

[p_p_p_pasta]

Immediately, Italy's wailing stopped and he gazed upward with a happy grin.

"Oh, hey, Canada! When did you get here?" he chirruped, leaning back to sit on his behind instead.

Unfortunately, the happiness was shortlived when Italy noticed the boxes and their contents scattered all about the kitchen floor. The scene before him nothing less than a tomato massacre of epic proportions.

"My... my tomatoes...!"

[maple_syrup_can]

"When did I--" His incredulous repetition of Italy's question got cut off by the guy suddenly wailing over the tomatoes. Okay, so Italy had never noticed him before at shift change. For a whole month. ...Never mind.
Looking over the scattered food he sighed.

"Sorry. I'll give you a hand..."

[p_p_p_pasta]

"V-Ve..."

Italy couldn't help but sniffle at the travesty before him, but with Canada's help, perhaps it wouldn't be too bad.

"Thanks, Canada. You're a super nice guy, you know?"

[maple_syrup_can]

"Why- Th-thank you. I'm really- very glad you think so." He blushed in embarrassed pleasure at the compliment.

In awkward silence he gathered up some tomatoes and onions, placing them in their boxes. Well, he had Italy to himself for a bit. No better opportunity would present itself, but it still didn't make this easy. While looking down at his work, he hesitantly asked,

"Italy, m-may I ask you something? Some a-advice?"

[p_p_p_pasta]

In the meantime, Italy busied himself with digging out a broom and dustpan from the closet, shuffling back into the main area of the kitchen just in time to catch Canada's question.

"Sure! What can I do for you?" He smiled as he began sweeping up his tomato-y victims.

[maple_syrup_can]

Eh... at least he didn't seem to mind how nervous Canada was. Ever happy-go-lucky.

"Uh, well-- I think, I mean, I've seen that you're... you have good relationships with girls. So," taking a deep breath he finishes in a rush, "I was wondering if you could give me some d-d-dating advice--"

I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT YOU, I SWEAR!

[p_p_p_pasta]

"Oh that? That's no problem!" Italy immediately perked up even more, leaning against his broom with the air of one who just discovered some sort of superiority, one may even say ~*big brotherness*~. Don't worry Canada, this probably won't last long.

"What's this girl like? Ve, I need all the details! Her looks, her personality, her bust size, everything!"

(No worries ♥ It's been a busy week ^.^)

[maple_syrup_can]

The relieved smile from when he agreed quickly turned into aghast shock.

"H-he-her what!? I-Italy, is that really necessary? I mean, how could I possibly know that?"

With a strained effort he said blandly, "I'll tell you as much as I can, but I can't talk about what I don't know, right?"

@w@ You're tellin' me!

[p_p_p_pasta]

"Ve, but you can tell just about anything about a girl based on her bust size!" Italy reasoned. "And I don't need exact numbers, I'm good enough to know just by a description!"

He took the moment to free himself of his broom, leaning it against the wall, and also seemingly forgetting about the tomatoes in all of their crushed glory. Not that this was surprising, of course. If one thing could distract Italy from mass-tomato genocide, it was talk of love, romance, and boobs.

"So are they apples, grapefruits, watermelons, or pancakes?" Italy paused, "Ve, and I don't mean a stack, but one pancake all by itself. Like this." He pressed both hands against his own chest helpfully.

[maple_syrup_can]

Canada's not too sure about that reasoning. In fact, he's quite mortified. To be thinking about Jasmine like- really, he's just met her! He'd been more interested in looking at her adorable face, and her sandals in the middle of winter.

He looks doubtfully at Italy's 'helpful' demonstration. But, okay. Deep breath. He'd come to Italy for help and if this was the information he needed, then...

"Umm. She's really short and cute and petite, and- and-- pancake... apple, maybe?" Feeling a blush spread all over his face, he looks down and studies a squished tomato, wondering if his face is about that red.

[p_p_p_pasta]

A few moments passed as Italy took in Canada's description of the girl. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers, face brightening up.

"I got it! I bet she's quiet, with a very sweet personality. She probably really likes animals, too!" He babbled on, "Oh, and her hair is probably super long! Am I right? Am I?"

[*is giggling helplessly*]

[maple_syrup_can]

He gaped at Italy in amazement, his face brightening.

"That- that's right!" Well, he wasn't certain if she liked animals, but he'd bet she did. "You really are good. It's like fortune telling..."

*THUMBS UP* B)

[p_p_p_pasta]

"Ve, it's better than fortune telling! You can get a PhD in reading bust sizes back by my house! It's a science!"

Allowing himself to puff up juuuust a bit, Italy then continued onward, realizing that Canada really was going to need all the help he could get. After all, the guy was nice enough, but assertive? Not in the slightest!

"Okay, first we have to fix you up! Your posture is all wrong! Stand! Stand!"

[maple_syrup_can]

A PhD in bust sizes...? Italy's house was way stranger than he'd thought.

"Eh-" Adjusting his posture he stood to face Italy. "All wrong?"