Comments | stop_drop_porn: Gun Shy

ultra_chrome in stop_drop_porn

Gun Shy

Oct 01, 2006 22:24

Title: Gun Shy
Author: ultra_chrome
Rating: NC-17
Prompt: Tent sex from aingeal8c
Notes: Unbetaed again due to time zones being what they are and me working away much of the time I could have been writing. So please feel free to offer up corrections and glaring errors so that I may correct them.
( Gun Shy )

Comments 18

sharon28 October 1 2006, 16:32:53 UTC

Wonderful. Hot porn and hurt and comfort, I loved it. I only noticed two possible errors.

Even the spasms in my lower from the position

I'm by no means an expert on words, but should it be lower back?

“Very far, Ray. As far as want to take me.”

I think there might be a missing "you" in there.

ultra_chrome October 1 2006, 16:39:29 UTC

Right you are! Thank you!

And I'm glad you enjoyed it, flawed as it is!

*runs off to fix it before bed*

aingeal8c October 1 2006, 17:02:56 UTC

Yay tent sex! ;-)

You must have written that in record time.

Hot of course and I loved Ray's triumph at giving Fraser a hard on hee hee.

Very enjoyable.

ultra_chrome October 2 2006, 10:43:47 UTC

Yeah, it fell out of me pretty quick.

Glad you enjoyed. It was for you, after all!

qe2 October 1 2006, 18:12:14 UTC

He had purchased a wardrobe suitable to the climate and our task, complete with work gloves.

Well, of course he had. Perfect detail, that. *hearts RayV's deep-rooted clotheshorseness*

Enjoyed seeing RayV through Fraser's eyes - this challenge has brought out more of the opposite POV.

ultra_chrome October 2 2006, 10:47:00 UTC

Since Fraser is my all time favourite, I find him easier when I'm in a hurry.

A cop out, I know, but I had to be quick and all.

Can't you just see Ray in designer workwear? Gucci tool belt, lol.

ruthless1 October 2 2006, 03:30:40 UTC

What a great Fraser voice. You really showed his vulnerability and his almost Victorian prissiness. I liked that combo. And I also like how Ray is shown more as Fraser's object of affection rather than as a seperate character - it gives Fraser that much more depth. Good job! Oh - and very hot too.

ultra_chrome October 2 2006, 10:52:23 UTC

Thanks so much. I'm glad it came over okay. I worry that I ramble with Fraser a little too much and that it all gets lost in the babble. :p

ruthless1 October 2 2006, 15:14:28 UTC

See? That's where I think you DO get it with Fraser- he's wound so tight on the outside, I can only imagine what really goes on in his head. OR - I can read your story and see what really goes on.

ultra_chrome October 10 2006, 15:22:54 UTC

You make me blush. I don't know what to say, except that I'm full of warm fuzzies now. :D

lucifercircle October 3 2006, 15:06:08 UTC

This was really hot. Really, really hot.
And I like the ending, with Fraser all uncertain. It adds a touch of realism.
Good job!

And I swear I will get that other fic back to you. I'm nearly done. Today or tomorrow.

ultra_chrome October 3 2006, 16:30:05 UTC

Hot is good! :)Thank you!

And no rush on the story. I know you're busy. And I'm about halfway through the one for your prompt.