mind. fuck.
i think this will be my last entry into live journal land.
next: anonymous blog on an anonymous blogspot.
why? because my life isn't going to be about whining and bitching anymore.
i started this thing because my doctor recommended to track my moods to see when and how often i had mood swings.
well... just over 4 years later. i'm out!
i'm over it.
i'm over depression.
i'm over self-doubt.
i'm over it all!
my life is going to be about adventure. about a strong woman in a man's world, shaking things up a bit. about getting into trouble and still coming out on top. about experiencing all there is to feel. about falling in love a thousand times, taking heart break in stride, and then falling in love again. about loving myself in a place where i'm constantly asked to hate myself just enough to buy something. it's going to be about long drives with music so heart wrencing, it makes you want to cry. then i'm going to cry it all out, and show up wherever i'm going with no make up but a huge smile. it's going to be about going wherever i want, whenever i want, independent of whether its acceptable, safe, or whether i have a companion. it's going to be about all the stamps i can get on my passport, all the nights i can say were mine, all the days i soaked up the sun, and all the new things i've tried that blew my mind. it's going to be about embracing everything my career is, and some things that it isn't. most of all, it's going to be about loving life.
i'm going to do it all!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am not afraid... i was born to do this.
love life, love.
elaine.
next: anonymous blog on an anonymous blogspot.
why? because my life isn't going to be about whining and bitching anymore.
i started this thing because my doctor recommended to track my moods to see when and how often i had mood swings.
well... just over 4 years later. i'm out!
i'm over it.
i'm over depression.
i'm over self-doubt.
i'm over it all!
my life is going to be about adventure. about a strong woman in a man's world, shaking things up a bit. about getting into trouble and still coming out on top. about experiencing all there is to feel. about falling in love a thousand times, taking heart break in stride, and then falling in love again. about loving myself in a place where i'm constantly asked to hate myself just enough to buy something. it's going to be about long drives with music so heart wrencing, it makes you want to cry. then i'm going to cry it all out, and show up wherever i'm going with no make up but a huge smile. it's going to be about going wherever i want, whenever i want, independent of whether its acceptable, safe, or whether i have a companion. it's going to be about all the stamps i can get on my passport, all the nights i can say were mine, all the days i soaked up the sun, and all the new things i've tried that blew my mind. it's going to be about embracing everything my career is, and some things that it isn't. most of all, it's going to be about loving life.
i'm going to do it all!!!!!!!!!!!!
i am not afraid... i was born to do this.
love life, love.
elaine.