PAY ATTENTION

Sep 20, 2009 17:34

It has recently been reported to me that someone, I think his name is Assuma, thought it would be a damn good joke to go onto one of his colleagues' computer (because damn right a fuckhead like that would not be given the administrative privileges necessary to access anything of a remotely confidential nature) and look up, copy and use the personal information of another staff member to harass said staff member for his amusement.

In reaction to this supreme breach of security, I'm petitioning Tsunade to enforce an indefinite security escort to and from the main building for all staff members. If this tool could get this information, there's no telling who else has.

Over the next few days, I will be changing all locks to all offices and upgrading all hard drives to the strictest levels encryption and security, as well as verifying that, if you are affected, you receive full training on everything available and I will be making damn sure that you use it. I will also require all laptops with access to the Dickey's data network be turned in to me in my office for similar treatment.

Now, just to make sure we're all real damn fucking clear on this point (because apparently we aren't and it isn't common sense) DO NOT GIVE OUT YOUR FUCKING PASSWORDS, AND DO NOT MAKE PASSWORDS THAT ARE EASY ENOUGH FOR A MONKEY TO GUESS. Also, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR OFFICE UNLOCKED AND UNATTENDED.

I am coding everything so that it will not accept the creation of any password of less than ten alpha and numeric characters. Password updates will be required every twenty-eight days and no password that has been used within the past six months, or that is reasonably similar to any password used within the past six months, will be accepted.

This is for the protection and safety of every single one of you and frankly, I'm appalled that someone dared to jeopardize that in the first place.

If you encounter anything that you feel is inappropriate or suspicious regarding the secure data of this business (from client files to staff files, addresses to credit card numbers) inform me immediately. We have an emergency IT line, and this is what it is for. USE IT.

fuck you guys, it emergency line, fml, i am totally a responsible citizen, surrounded by fucking morons, work, public service announcement

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