✽❀ GARDENTASTA ❀ ✽

[gayformaster]

Who: Everyone and anyone! Yes, everyone is invited!
What: The ❀ GARDENTASTA ❀! Aka, a giant costume party for everyone!
When: August 12th! Yes, this is being posted in advance.
Where: The gardens attached to the labs in the bottom of the ship!
Warnings: If any threads go above PG-13, please warn about this in the subject line! The basic party

Comments

[nicrage]

Oh god.

[==> Proceed to accomplish an exceedingly accurate rendering of a TRADITIONAL ALTERNIAN BALLROOM DANCE.
You ignore the faint feeling that ALTERNIAN BALLROOM DANCES are a thing that have just now been made up by a very bored entity. Of course Alternia has dances. How else would Troll John Cusack woo his serendipited matesprit?

(You also ignore that it's not obvious said entity never watched Serendipity, because you are rather certain there is no dance scene in it. Pretend there is a troll!disney or something.)

==>Stop ignoring things and DANCE I said.
Okay, okay, geez.

Karkat proceeds to show that all those hours of practicing alone in his hive with CLEANING IMPLEMENTS totally worked. He also proceeds to show that it looks a lot less silly when not doing it on your own without music. Except for the bit where there are a lot more feet involved.

==> Keep an eye on the feets, boy!!
You are concentrating your entire might on not tripping. All your attention is delegated solely to watching both yours and Nepeta's feet.

This is not romantic success and you give zero shits about it.]

[purrsona]

[what Nepeta is imagining:



what is actually happening:



that's all that needs to be said on the matter.]

[nicrage]

[Zia ==> spend ten minutes staring at the beauty that is the previous tag, knowing you could never hope to match it in its glory. Weep tears as you shamelessly break the fourth wall and wish you could draw back to make this the best thread ever.

Okay you did all that now for Karkat.

==> WATCH OUT FOR THAT SUDDEN OBSTACLE
Wait what obstacle

oh you mean the sudden patch of slippery floooooOOOOOR AAAAGHWARGLESGJKDS]

FUCK

WHY IS GRAVITY AGAINST YOU?????]

[purrsona]

[since Nepeta is holding onto Karkat, gravity dictates that she goes down right along with him! THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE WANTS. THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE PLANNED. AND SHE'S JUST GOTTA SAY, SHE DOES NOT UNDERSTAAAAND-no this thread is stupid enough as it is already.]

Karkat what the hell?!

[nicrage]

[==> Become horribly acquainted with the floor as Nepeta falls on you in a classic romcom moment that would delight you if it wasn't happening to you.
Yeah that's pretty much what's happening. They're there. They made it happen.

Conversationally, what romcoms do not say is that ramming your head on the floor hurts like fuck, and no troll is delightfully light enough that cushioning their fall with your organs isn't horribly painful. WHO KNEW.

==> Arghbkgffdspfffffft
Yes.]

Arghbkgffdspfffffft...

[==> Get over it already.
Okay fine.]

Dancing... is like my life. It reminds me that I am a gentle fucking daffodil in an unforgiving universe that prides itself on composing my life entirely of nothing but pain. I hate everything.

[==> A bit melodramatic, but it'll do.
Thanks.]

[purrsona]

...

Is it too late to apawlogize?

[nicrage]

Yeah me slipping on the floor like a mentally deficient wriggler was definitely your entire fucking fault JUST GET OFF OF ME.

[yelling in people's faces is mean and terrible.

NO SHITS WERE GIVEN ABOUT THAT EITHER.]

[purrsona]

[she is about to oblige his request! after all, he is the leader-this has been drilled into her head many, many times, even if she made fun of him all of those aforementioned times.

but wait, she realizes! this is perhaps one of the MOST CLICHÉD ROMANTIC MOMENTS in all universes' definitions of romance. there is no way she can let this opportunity just pass her by. no. way.

though the strange green color her face is slowly turning might be misconstrued by a human as getting sick, Karkat should realize that is not the case at all.]

[nicrage]

[OH SHIT OH GOD OH SHIT OH GOD OH SHIT PLEASE LET THIS NOT BE HAPPENING PLEASE LET IT NOT BE HAPPENING

yeah he kinda did and in true Karkat fashion he is just staring wide eyed and horrified at the IMMINENT DISASTER]

[purrsona]

[NEPETA used SWEET KISS! KARKAT is now confused!

or did she feel free to interrupt her what are we even doing with this thread anymore oh my god]

[nicrage]

[THE KISS awakens Karkat's HIDDEN FEELINGS for Nepeta! He realizes that their RELATIONSHIP transcends ALL QUADRANTS. He is experiencing this human affliction called TRUE LOVE. The music swells as he reciprocates and shares with Nepeta a TRUE LOVE'S KISS. His anger leaves his body and peace fills his mind. This is truly a MOMENT FOR THE AGES. This is...

This is...

This is incredibly silly and not actually happening. Instead, Nepeta's DEATH HORROR TRAP is interrupted by a random couple bumping into them as they dance. They are still lying in the middle of the DANCE FLOOR, after all. That is still a thing that is happening. The couple trips on them, unbalancing Nepeta! Karkat is free!

Karkat uses the DISTACTION to promptly ABSCOND THE FUCK OUT.]

I AM SUDDENLY SO FUCKING THIRSTY. AREN'T YOU THIRSTY? I SHOULD GO GET US DRINKS. IN FACT I AM GOING TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW OKAY BYE.

[Karkat tends to forget his inside voice when he is panicking.]

[purrsona]

[NO. NO. THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! THAT WAS A PERFECT MOMENT! WHO DARES SHIPBLOCK THE ULTIMATE SHIPPER? other than, you know. everybody. BUT STILL, NOOOOOOOOOO!!]

Wait, Karkat! Come back!

[nicrage]

[You cannot hope to beat Karkat at running from ruining emotional moments. He is simply the best there is.

he is also really coming back with those drinks later on, since he's still pretending he has not noticed Nepeta's crush on him in the vain hope it will go away on its own.

Karkat you are a terrible strategist]

[purrsona]

[when Karkat comes back, Nepeta's waiting exactly where he'd left her. though she is indeed CRUSHED ON THE INSIDE at having such a perfect opportunity ruined, she is putting on a very STRONG face. the things she must deal with...]

You jerk! What the heck was that fur?!

[nicrage]

[Karkat just hands her her chameowmile tea 8||]

Oh yeah, don't thank me for going out of my way to get you a stupid ass disgusting punny drink or anything. It's my fucking pleasure.

[purrsona]

[wait punny drink whaOH MY GOD
]

How did you know?!