(no subject)
havent felt like writing in so long..ive actually been relatively calm and happy lately..all thru august and september i was quite alright. trying to enjoy the beautiful weather. walking as much as possible. reading. crocheting..the first weeks of october i was happy too..but now. it feels like everything is crashing down on me
being sick sucks..
i shouldve stuck with my instinct last nite and stayed home.. my throat hurt so bad by the time i got to craigs house..i was panicking and thinking about the emergency room..it was so swollen i could barely swallow..tylenol helped it..enough to relax..
i went home early..after a few episodes of angel and an encore presentation of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind..
i slept for an hour or so before waking up and freaking out..waking my mother up bekuz i couldnt swallow..she gave me some anti-biotics..and sent me back to bed.. sleeping was hell..i had a fever..i was hot and cold..going to work was impossible..which sucks bekuz i need money desperately..and bekuz the only person (out of the four possibilties) who will be working for me is the one person who works 40 hours a week already at the store. was already working this morning (thus forcing her to do a double)..is over 50 years old..and has a new baby in her house to take care of..so i feel like im killing her..shes got medical problems to boot..so now on top of being sick and dying.. i feel guilty..
also. im stressing and crying all the time bekuz..bubbles is sick.
she was throwing up so she was taken to the vet..and the blood test results showed a problem with her kidneys..a problem that if she was a person shed be on expensive dialisis...her only hope are prescription pills given by the vet.she started taken them yesterday..shes not shaking when she breathes in as much..but shes also gotten so old so quick..shes only a baby shes gonna be 4 oct 27th..but she doesnt move much. doesnt get excited..doesnt bark..and hardly plays..she just lays around cuddled with people..my mom can hardly talk about it without tearing up..not comforting..everyone in this house is looking to sumone else to comfort them...when we had zero and put him to sleep..we were all miserable..we had had him for 14-15 years..but i dont think we were half as attached as we are to bubbles..shes just so cuddly..and playful..for the most part of zeros life i was too young to appreciate him..but i love bubbles..shes me..but on four legs..myke is as upset as i am..so its comforting having that..but hes the type to say dont worry about it..wait till ..bla bla bla.. but this situation is way too similiar to when my father died..it was sudden that there was sumthing seriously wrong with one specific organ..his birthday was the same month..there was 'hope'...myke said the same thing then that he is saying now..its just too close for comfort..i feel like im cursing the people i love..is this how life is going to be from now on? just painful..
im feeling better enough now to go shower and eat sumthing..
being sick sucks..
i shouldve stuck with my instinct last nite and stayed home.. my throat hurt so bad by the time i got to craigs house..i was panicking and thinking about the emergency room..it was so swollen i could barely swallow..tylenol helped it..enough to relax..
i went home early..after a few episodes of angel and an encore presentation of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind..
i slept for an hour or so before waking up and freaking out..waking my mother up bekuz i couldnt swallow..she gave me some anti-biotics..and sent me back to bed.. sleeping was hell..i had a fever..i was hot and cold..going to work was impossible..which sucks bekuz i need money desperately..and bekuz the only person (out of the four possibilties) who will be working for me is the one person who works 40 hours a week already at the store. was already working this morning (thus forcing her to do a double)..is over 50 years old..and has a new baby in her house to take care of..so i feel like im killing her..shes got medical problems to boot..so now on top of being sick and dying.. i feel guilty..
also. im stressing and crying all the time bekuz..bubbles is sick.
she was throwing up so she was taken to the vet..and the blood test results showed a problem with her kidneys..a problem that if she was a person shed be on expensive dialisis...her only hope are prescription pills given by the vet.she started taken them yesterday..shes not shaking when she breathes in as much..but shes also gotten so old so quick..shes only a baby shes gonna be 4 oct 27th..but she doesnt move much. doesnt get excited..doesnt bark..and hardly plays..she just lays around cuddled with people..my mom can hardly talk about it without tearing up..not comforting..everyone in this house is looking to sumone else to comfort them...when we had zero and put him to sleep..we were all miserable..we had had him for 14-15 years..but i dont think we were half as attached as we are to bubbles..shes just so cuddly..and playful..for the most part of zeros life i was too young to appreciate him..but i love bubbles..shes me..but on four legs..myke is as upset as i am..so its comforting having that..but hes the type to say dont worry about it..wait till ..bla bla bla.. but this situation is way too similiar to when my father died..it was sudden that there was sumthing seriously wrong with one specific organ..his birthday was the same month..there was 'hope'...myke said the same thing then that he is saying now..its just too close for comfort..i feel like im cursing the people i love..is this how life is going to be from now on? just painful..
im feeling better enough now to go shower and eat sumthing..