See Dad Campaign
When I posted my last entry, I never imagined I'd be doing another one less than a week later. I've had so much James in the past month I don't even know how I'm still alive and functioning but I'm so happy he feels the need to work so hard (I've always called him an overachiever haha) and not take a break. It's also lucky that I live where I do, because if I didn't, none of this would be possible.
I arrived home from the Hollywood Christmas Parade trip on Monday. That day, my friend Ally asked if I'd do her a huge favor, and if she sent me a letter for Carlos would I get it to him next time something came up. I said of course, but warned her I didn't think there would be anything more before next year. She said she understood, but just in case. I agreed.
Tuesday morning I woke up to a tweet from my friend Amber (@spacematadors) telling me James was going to be down the street from her Saturday. I had no idea what she was talking about, but a suspicion it was the toy drive Ryan Potter put on last year. When I'd seen him the day before at the parade, I remembered the previous year when I'd considered going to it because Stephen Glickman was going. I didn't go in the end, but seeing Ryan Sunday reminded me of it and I wondered if he was doing it again this year because it sounded like something James and Carlos would do. Boom. Two days later, it was announced that not only was he hosting it again, James and Carlos would be in attendance. Amber wasn't kidding, the location is on the actual street where she lives, about five minutes away. Being a James girl, she was ecstatic and screaming and so excited. I was excited for her, too, especially since if I could go I'd get to see her again and I hadn't seen her since September for the “Figure It Out” episodes James and Carlos did.
So I spent the walk/ride to work researching the whole thing and planning out travel and it was going to work, but only just. I'd have to stay in a hotel in my city Friday night so that I could be at the train station at 5 A.M. to make it to L.A. as early as possible. We assumed there would be a huge crowd and it was taking place at a small gym, and I'd have to leave by 3:45 to make the train home in time to work my graveyard shift that night. So I could get to the place by ten and the event started at 3:15 but Amber said she'd be there early, too, so we'd at least have fun hanging out together while we waited. If I missed any of my buses or trains I'd be stuck in L.A. for the night AND have to miss work, and I was really nervous about that, but the guys are worth the risk. I texted Ally and told her something had come up, that I'd get her letter to Carlos if I could. And I was excited. I'd get to see James Maslow again. God, I love that man.
I went out Wednesday on my day off to print the train ticket and Ally's letter, and while I was on the bus home my friend Sharon (@the1nonlyglee) texted me that James tweeted he was doing “See Dad Run” again this week. I sat there on the bus shaking my head, I couldn't even be surprised because I'd had a feeling this was coming. Every time I watch James' first episode of the show I think “They need to bring Ricky back, have him make up for his asshole treatment and/or get his comeuppance.” So a few weeks ago Ryan Newman, Ramy Youssef, and Luke Benward from the show did a live chat and I watched it, hoping for some kind of clue. I'm glad I did, it was a lot of fun and I laughed a lot, Ramy is so funny. But I asked them on the chat how many more live tapings there were and Ryan said four. I knew James was home. It could happen.
Then Sunday (while I was in Hollywood for the parade), Ryan tweeted she was excited to film this week's episode with “recurring guest stars” and I knew. I just knew. I tweeted her to ask if it was James, but I never got an answer. So when Sharon texted me about James' tweet, I wanted to scream “I knew it! I KNEW it!” but of course on a bus you have to at least pretend to be normal. I was excited and freaking out but also frustrated because I'd have to change all my travel and hotel plans and was stuck on a bus with a phone that was about to die. I knew that with James making the announcement, tickets would go fast. I'd tried to see a taping of the show two weeks before when I was in Hollywood just for the heck of it, and it had been sold out even without James. So I was freaking out, wishing the bus could move faster.
Sharon came to the rescue once again. I gave her the website names for tickets and then my phone died. The next thirty minutes I had no idea if she'd gotten me a ticket or not. That was a very long thirty minutes.
But when I got home and turned my phone on, it was to a message I had a ticket reserved in my name, and there it was in my email. I started crying because it was gonna happen. I was going to see Ricky Adams again.
I tweeted to see if any of my local buddies could come. The girls I went with last time, Melissa and Maral, both had plans. Amber said she and Emily had gotten tickets already and I was so excited, this meant I'd get to spend more time with Amber! I love her, she's the sweetest thing. I'd met Emily twice before (once at KIIS FM in July but officially in September at the “Figure It Out” taping) and we hadn't talked a whole lot but what I knew of her I liked, so that was awesome, too.
Amber texted me and asked, “James will be there for sure, right?” and suddenly it hit me that it wasn't guaranteed. It all depended on how many scenes he had and where they would be shot and whether or not they'd finish all his scenes on Thursday, because they shoot both Thursday and Friday. I told her all of this, worried myself because it was entirely possible James wouldn't be there after all. But I prayed, and I figured if it was meant to be, it would be. Either way I'd have a good time, the taping was a lot of fun last time.
Friday finally arrived and it was hell getting to Hollywood. Everything kept going wrong and at one point I almost broke down in tears, it was just a nightmare from start to finish, and I remember sitting on a Greyhound and wanting to cry and I looked out the right window and we were passing an In-N-Out, which of course always reminds me of James. I kind of glared at it, thinking in my head “Nice try, James, but not even that's going to make me smile right now. The shit I go through for you, I swear.” So I faced forward again and was so upset and not even a mile up the freeway on my left, an entire In-N-Out factory appeared. Not just a restaurant, but the damn factory itself. I started laughing and gave in, trying to let go of the stress and just relax. If it was meant to be, it would be, and James would make it worth all the shit. There was a voice in my head that kept adding “if he's there” but I just prayed. James Maslow has not ever let me down and I held on to that, hoping it would be true again.
Got to Hollywood finally, two hours later than planned. After a stop at the FedEx to print out my ticket for "See Dad Run," and more nightmare travel experiences, I made it to my hotel. I had about thirty minutes to charge my phone, change (I was wet from rain, even with an umbrella), and get down to the studio. Luckily my hotel was a ten-minute walk to Paramount; I stay there for that reason. But I hadn't eaten yet and knew I'd have no chance once we got in line, so I planned to grab something at Astro Burger before heading to the lot.
Amber texted me and said they were there, so I went without charging my phone and just changed and headed out. I just wanted to be there already. I stopped at Pavilions and bought a sandwich, figured I could eat that and chips while waiting in line, though it would be tricky with an umbrella.
When I left the hotel again, the rain had stopped. There was a sliver of sunshine between the clouds and I felt this peace, like now that I was there everything would work out. Since I usually have such great luck when doing anything James-related, everything seems to run smoothly, I had started to wonder if my day from hell meant it wasn't going to work out. But the sun peeked through the clouds and I felt better. I'd made it, and whatever happened would happen.
I met up with Amber, Emily, and their friend Joanna (who feels about Cody Simpson the way I do about James, except I don't intend to marry or even date James haha), and we backtracked to Astro Burger because Joanna hadn't eaten, either.
We stayed there for about thirty minutes and headed up the street to the studio. There was a line forming by then, but I didn't know if it was for “See Dad Run” or “Marvin Marvin.” I'd just go in and ask security. While we were walking toward the light to cross Gower, a guy walked past that resembled Chris Fabregas and little and it reminded me that he'd tweeted earlier he was at the lot. I never did get to give him a tackle hug like I'd wanted in September and thought it would be awesome if I ran into him but doubted it would happen.
So we crossed the street when the light changed, and a group of maybe six people were crossing from the other side. I guess because he was still fresh in my mind, I scanned the faces of all of them and holy shit, Chris Fabregas was walking right toward me.
I didn't stop to think, it happened so fast and I couldn't believe my luck, that he was right there! I called out “Chris Fabregas!” and rushed to him, the poor guy looked so scared. Oh my God, I felt so bad but I knew if we were in a setting to do it properly he would've been so sweet, so I just went for it. In the middle of the crosswalk, I went in for a tackle hug and he was like “Okay...” and I said “I'm sorry, I'm scaring you, I'm a fan and I just want a hug” and he was like “Oh. Sure, okay...” and hugged me but the poor guy. Seriously, I NEVER DO THAT. I never attack a celebrity like that but it happened so fast and I thanked him and moved on and I'm sure his group of buddies teased him about it but I don't regret it. Somehow I always knew it would be a tackle hug with him haha.
We got in line and my phone was almost dead but I tweeted him to apologize for scaring him and said I'm usually much more polite. He tweeted me back and said “it was nice to see you for three seconds haha.” So then I was glad I did it. It made up for me not getting his DM in September until it was too late to go say hi.
The security people said the line was for both shows and they'd come out and separate us later. They eventually did, and we were maybe ten or fifteen people back in line. Amber and I were sweating bullets over the possibility that James might not be filming. We kept hoping James would tweet about it but there was nothing and just like in September for “Figure It Out” my stomach was in knots not knowing for sure.
When the people came out to get us all checked in, we heard one of the women saying there was a group of forty people coming who HAD to get in, and another bus with twenty more, and they all got first priority. My heart sank but we were close enough to the front that I figured we'd be okay. I hoped, anyway.
One of the pages caught my eye and I realized it was Taylor, who had been the guide on the tour I took in June with Sarah (@_adamantine) where we'd run into almost the whole cast. I was like “Taylor!” and told him he'd been my favorite guide ever (totally true) and after a few seconds he actually remembered me, I couldn't believe it. Probably because I reminded him of his cousin. He was like “Yeah, you were here on the last day of shooting when they were tearing everything down, right?” I said yes and he goes, “They're actually rebuilding the pool now.” He was the one who basically told us without actually telling us that the show was over and done. I was like “Yeah, they added on one more season” and we talked for a little bit about that.
They checked us in and once that was done, I knew we were good. We were definitely getting in, the only question at that point was would James be there?
We were let in and led toward the stage, and I kept my eyes peeled for any sign of James or someone like Halston or his dad. Nothing. I pointed out Mrs. Majakowski's lawn and the front porch of the Knight home as we passed, and just being there is so magical. I felt like I was home. I think that's my sixth time on the lot, and I love being there, it's a magical place.
So there was a big group of us being led down the street/alley and a truck started backing out, so they halted our group but the girls and I managed to get across before they broke us up. The ten or so of us that made it through kept walking toward the stage and when we got there they asked if anyone needed to use the restroom before we went in. We said no, not wanting to take a chance of missing anything, so it was just us and one guy who stood outside waiting then because everyone else went and the rest of our big group hadn't been given the choice; one of the pages said they'd all been taken to the bathroom before being led over.
We were standing between two trailers and while we were waiting Ryan Newman walked by and into one of them. I was like “Aww, it's Ryan!” I love her! Two minutes later Bailey Michelle Brown, who plays the little girl Janie, walked by with some adults. She's so cute! Right after that Alanna Ubach (the wife/mom) passed us and we were like “Damn, the whole cast is coming through.” It was awesome! They were all going into what we assumed was the make-up trailer, behind us. I mentioned that my favorite character is the son, and not even a minute later he was right there. Then we all kind of looked at each other, we were all thinking the same thing. James could be in one of the trailers we were standing between. We joked about it but my heart was racing because it wasn't impossible. It was actually probable.
I watched Jackson Brundage (the son) walk into the stage building, watched him open the door and step in, and kept my eyes on it. Sure enough, James Maslow stepped out. He was turned away from us talking to someone but I knew of course (hello, it's James) and I kind of gasped and hissed to the girls “James!” and grabbed Amber's arm (they weren't facing that way) and he caught me alerting them. Our eyes met for a split second before I turned away, the jerk caught me and knew we were there for him. We were all whispering “Okay, be cool, don't scare him, be cool.” He walked by us and toward the trailer across from us but gave us a smile and said “Hey guys, how you doing?” We all said hi and he continued on, and after he went into the trailer we started quietly spazzing.
Amber and I kept hugging, we were both shaking and just like “He's here! Oh my God, he's here!” Joanna goes, “Well, I'm guessing James is filming tonight” and we laughed and Emily (I think?) said he could probably see us spazzing from that trailer but we were just so excited. James was there! I told Amber she would for sure be getting her picture with James (that was her goal for the night, it's all she's wanted for a long time), we were going to make it happen.
We suddenly realized a bunch of people were passing us and that they'd started letting everyone in and by the time we got in a lot of the seats were filled. Everyone was being herded to the middle section but I asked a page if we could sit on the left, because I knew we'd get out quicker that way after the show and also because I'd sat there last time and was able to watch James in between his scenes. The guy said it was fine and we found our seats, and we were there. We were so damn excited!
The emcee dude I love from the last time was there again, good old Joby (or however you spell it), and at the end of our row was the older guy I'd sat next to before. I almost went over and said hi but then it started.
I'm going to try to remember everything about the taping but I'll forget a lot of it, I'm sure. It's of course all a blur. I remember that it was so hot in there I almost passed out at one point. Not even kidding. Joby commented on the heat as well (I remember Emily making a joke about “Is it hot in here or is it just James?”), and my blood pressure was really high for some reason. Probably the excitement. I seriously considered going outside for a few minutes, it was that bad. But I tried to focus on and enjoy the show and eventually felt a little better.
They showed us James' first episode before beginning filming of the new one, just to make sure everyone knew the back story. That was fun to watch with other fans, and it was kind of surreal to sit in the same room I'd seen it filmed and watch it again. It was weird to think that what I was watching had happened right there in front of me just a few months ago.
SPOILER ALERT. James has four scenes in this episode, and two of them were taped the night before. In the first one, he's in hockey gear. HOCKEY GEAR. It's brief but cute and the Hobbs family has started a new tradition called “Boo Ricky Night.” They watch the T.V. show and whenever Ricky's on the screen, they boo. It's “family bonding time” now. It was so funny, me and Amber were like “Aww, poor Ricky.” Then there's a scene between David and his wife where she tries to convince him to forgive Ricky. Turns out he's apologized numerous times for being such a jerk. I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I was so happy, this meant we'd get a nice version of Ricky Adams.
So at one point the wife plays voicemails that Ricky has left and THAT VOICE OH MY GOD I LOVE JAMES. HE IS SO CUTE. He's all sad and mopey and apologetic. It was so precious. Amber and I were like “Awwwwww” we just kept going “Awwwww,” you wanted to hug him. And we had to listen to that three times, that plaintive begging tone in James' voice. God, I love James.
The episode is called "See Dad Campaign" and centers around Emily running for class president against Ted McGinley's son. The actual Ted McGinley who was on "Happy Days" with Scott Baio and played Jefferson Darcy on "Married...with Children." Seeing Scott Baio and Ted McGinley together...wow. I had a crush on both of them when I watched "Happy Days" as a kid. So I was flailing over that, and praying Ted would be filming, too.
The first live scene James shot was in the kitchen, which meant he was way down to our left. So we weren't really close for that, but we could still see him easily for most of it because of where he was positioned. Joby told us all that when James came in for the scene, we couldn't scream but had to be quiet. He thought we were gonna scream haha. But James was outside the kitchen door and we saw him and Amber and I grabbed each other and alksjdsslsjkdsjfkd. So in the scene, he knocks on the door and makes this begging face like "Please let me in" and it's so cute, he comes in with a box of cupcakes as an apology to David. And he's so full of remorse and sad and like...GOD WE JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM. And the kids come in and see him and they start booing him and he's like "It's okay, I deserve it" and ALKDSLFKDGKFD JAMES GOD MY HEART. HE'S JUST SO SAD AND LOST. Finally Ricky's about to just leave and David caves and is like "It's okay" and OH MY GOD. RICKY DOES THIS SUDDEN HOPEFUL SPIN AND HIS FACE LIGHTS UP AND HE LITERALLY RUNS ACROSS THE ROOM TO TACKLE DAVID IN A HUG AND HIS FACE IT WAS THE "I KNEW YOU'D COME BACK FOR ME" FACE AND HE'S JUST SO HAPPY AND HE WAS FACING US AND THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE GOD MY HEART. Amber and I were dying over him. And then at one point David says "Hold on, Ricky" and Ricky hugs him again and David's like "I didn't mean literally." And there was talk about biting David's leg because in a scene they shot the day before, Ted McGinley actually bites his leg and Ricky looks so serious and goes, "I would NEVER bite your leg, David." GAH THAT MAN I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE IS SUCH A FLAWLESS ACTOR. LIKE SERIOUSLY HE IS SO PROFESSIONAL AND PERFECT AND NEVER MESSES UP A LINE OR LOSES HIS COMPOSURE AND HE IS JUST A DREAM TO WATCH.
And then the daughter Emily shows up, and he tries to apologize to her for the way he treated her in the last episode but she doesn't budge, instead she boos him right in his face. Poor Ricky. He begs her to listen to him and she hesitates, because like...who can resist that face begging you? But right then I knew exactly how the episode would end, how that would be resolved, and I ended up being right. Yay!
In between scenes they play music and when they played "Big Time Rush" Joby ran over to us (because we were the resident Rushers, more enthusiastic than the rest I guess?). Emily and Amber sang into the mic and James watched them, laughing and giving Emily a thumbs up but she didn't even notice, her back was to him. We all got huge smiles from James at some point because of our enthusiasm. He sang along to the song for a bit himself, it was precious. And then "What Makes You Beautiful" came on and he was talking to someone or something and started bopping his head to the music and then you could tell when it him what song it was. He stopped and suddenly spun around, his face set, and crossed his arms and moved off the stage area to the perimeter. I thought it was just my imagination but Emily later told me she saw it, too. So Carlos isn't the only one. Just saying.
There is a really funny running joke about “Where's Waldo?” in the episode and can I just say how much I love Ramy Youssef? He plays Kevin and between him and the son, I crack up through that show. I was hoping to get a chance to at least say hi to Ramy and tell him how much I loved the "Cookie Song" he made up on the spot on the live chat I watched. But he is a funny guy.
So the final scene includes James, and while much of it was filmed the day before, we did get to see a small part of it done live. They play what's already been filmed in between scenes so we can keep up with what's going on, and there's a scene that James shot Thursday where he does a duet with Emily. They sing Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" and wow. Just wow. We knew he'd be doing some kind of dancing because they had a choreographer on set the day before but the singing I was not expecting and when the song started Amber and I were freaking out. Quietly, but we were freaking out. James Maslow is so amazing. I had my hands over my mouth for the whole song, we couldn't breathe and we were both crying and it sounds ridiculous but when you're there caught up in the moment you're just overwhelmed and I'm seriously thanking God we didn't see that filmed live because we would have been screaming and sobbing and disrupted everyone because HOLY SHIT JAMES. THE MAN IS SO PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND HIS VOICE AND THE WAY HE MOVES AND HOW IS HE REAL?
I later saw Amber's tweets from right after we watched that scene and I was laughing because they so perfectly matched my own reaction. We were both in tears and I think I even saw Emily wipe her eyes because we were in awe of him. And you know that sound the girls make in the previous episode, that little sound when Ricky says something that melts them? We were totally making that sound haha. My God, it was the most beautiful thing and I just kept thinking that I can't wait to see this, to see James on his own and I never thought I would ever feel that way but seeing him shine on his own, it's so different. I love BTR more than anything else in this world, but James...he's so ready. He's going to be so amazing once he gets free. I'm so conflicted over that, because I don't want BTR to end ever but at the same time, I can't wait for more of this. But we get one more year of BTR and I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.
Anyway, after they showed us that, James filmed his little scene at the end and it was really cute. He looks at Emily at one point and says, “Anything for you, Blue Eyes” and she does that melting sound and we made it, too. GOD THAT MAN JUST...UGH. Another running joke in the episode is Ricky's mom, who we never see but we do hear keep hearing her voice. Amber and I thought the voice was familiar, I'm curious to find out who it is. And she's funny. They're standing there in the school auditorium and over the intercom we hear "Ricky Adams, your mother is waiting for you" or something like that and he's so embarrassed he keeps doing this "Moooooooom" whiny thing that's actually very much like Kendall Knight, now that I think about it. It's so so adorable. And then he takes off muttering "I need to learn how to drive."
After he walks out the scene continues, but he walked out and stopped below us and Amber and I could see him from our seats. I watched him stand there and fidget and shift his weight and I don't know, he's just beautiful no matter what he does. He did that rubbing his hands together thing he does that for some reason kills me. I don't even know. But they filmed that scene in two takes and then suddenly it was over. But Ted was there! We did get to see him film a small part.
The curtain call began and James was down below us again. Amber told me to switch seats with Joanna so I could lead them where we needed to go, I had told them we'd have to book it out of there fast to get to James. So we switched and James came out for his bow and we screamed really loud, and when they were all out there James picked up Scott Baio's daughter and had her on his hip and danced with her. God, I love that man. I was entranced watching him and suddenly people started to leave and there was like a traffic jam. Amber shot over the seats in front of us, she got out quick and zoomed through everyone to get to James, it was so cute because she's normally pretty shy but she was GONE. She was the first fan to make it to James and we caught up just in time to get there when she reached out to get his attention.
I was determined to get a hug, too, but Amber's pic was priority. She got James' attention and talked to him for a second, I couldn't hear what he said but Amber later told me she mentioned the toy drive and he said “I'm gonna try to make it.” She spun and asked me to get a pic of them with her phone, and of course I said yes. Got to stare into James' eyes while doing that, any moment when your eyes meets James' is like...have I mentioned I love that man? I took the pic and told her to make sure it came out, because I'm not too familiar with iPhones. He took a pic with Emily while she was doing that and of course, the pic didn't come out. I'm lame. Scott Baio came up and asked if he could borrow James for a second, he was really nice, so we waited while James took pics with Scott's daughter. THEY WERE SO CUTE OMFG. So James turned back to us and Amber asked again for a pic and James was so sweet with his “Of course” and this time Joanna took it while I just watched. Then Joanna got a pic with him and stepped back and I was next, I started to step forward to ask for a hug and a girl to my left cut me off. She stepped in front of me and said something to James and he said “I have to do this first, but I'll get to everybody.” She looked annoyed but whatever. So he turned away to take pics with some dudes that another guy had come over to ask James to do and while he was doing that, a woman came by and started trying to clear the stage. I was like “No. No no no, I'm getting my hug.” But she was determined and we tried to stay but she started herding us out and I wanted to cry. I was so close. I know I shouldn't complain, I've gotten so much and more than I deserve from James in the past, but I just really wanted a hug. I was so bummed. I didn't even get to say hi or anything, though we'd exchanged a few glances that told me he remembered me. So that's something! :D
We got shoved out of the stage with everyone else and we kind of hung around with a loosely-formed big group of both fans and cast members. We got to talk to Ramy and I shook his hand and told him how much I loved the “Cookie Song.” He appreciated that and said they'll be doing more chats in the future.
The girls pointed out Ted McGinley near us and I'd seen him already but I just didn't have the heart to go up to him. I'm such a baby, I swear. I should've just been happy to be there, and I was, but I'd been wanting that hug so badly. So even when we were talking to Ramy I was kind of down, and I let Ted go without approaching. I was just so upset that the other girl had gotten in there before me when it was clearly my turn. And that sounds ridiculous too, it's not like there's an order to it or rules. But I'd been waiting and when it was my turn she got in there and because of that, I missed my hug. So I was really sad.
James was still inside, though, and we kind of hung around hoping he'd come out like all the other cast members. The girls were sweet, they knew I wanted my hug. We eventually saw him, he had gotten closer to the exit but kept getting stopped by people, and that's when the pages started kicking us out. He was there, I could see him, but I couldn't get to him. So Emily lied and said we were waiting for a friend still inside but the page knew she was lying and said "No one's left inside, you have to leave." I kept looking back and he was slowly getting closer to the exit so I kind of just didn't move. I actually started backing very slowly toward the stage building. I saw the girl and her friend leaving, she looked sad and I felt bad again for her, too, but I was like "You cost me my hug. Too bad." But I felt bad thinking that. So the page got us walking, but I went slow. I told the girls to slow it down, hoping James would catch up to us. I kept looking back and he was closer but they were pushing us out so finally the girls started walking faster, not even realizing I was dropping further back, but I took my time and prayed. Finally I said fuck it, the worst they can do is tell me to leave and I turned back and started walking toward him. He was right there at the door. I was stopped by a chick who said "Are you waiting to talk to someone in there?" And I knew I couldn't lie, she would know, but just then James started to come out and I said "I just need one second with him and then I promise I'll leave, please." She said "No, you have to leave" and I said "Please" but I was stalling, he was walking toward us. She got really pissy and said "You know, I'm just trying to do my job" and I said "I know, just one thing please one thing" and suddenly he was there so I stepped past her and he saw me and said hi. It was so rushed and I'm sure he figured I'd want a pic and if I'd asked, he would've done it. He's just that kind of guy. The chick tried to stop me again but he was walking to me so she gave this really pissy "I give up" sigh and I hurried and said "Hi, can I just have a hug? Promise I'll leave then." And he did his "Sure, sweetie" and hugged me and while we were hugging I got a "mwah" sound in my ear. He did a fucking "mwah" sound where his lips were like almost touching my ear in an air kiss thing and I thought “I did not just hear that, no way” but when we pulled back we smiled and I knew I'd really heard it. I thanked him and said goodnight and he said "No problem" like he does and I turned around to catch up with the girls. They were like “You got your hug!" And I said "I'm happy, we can go now!" And I was smiling so huge. Just so huge, like I was floating on air. That man is so beautiful.
On the way out of the lot we passed Taylor, who hailed me and asked how it went, if we got to see James. We said yes and that it was amazing and Taylor commented on what a good taping it was other than the lack of air conditioning. He asked "Now did you guys know he was on the show tonight or..." And I laughed and said "Did we know...we're here, aren't we?" So we talked a little more about BTR and he said we should come back for another tour and I said I already have one planned in January.
After we left the lot we walked down to Astro Burger because we were all hungry. On the way some ladies in a parked car stopped us to talk, they'd been inside and told Emily she sang well. They got to meet Scott, I think they said? And Amber showed them her pic with James (which is adorable!) and they were bummed because they'd made the mistake I made last time and followed rules by taking phones and cameras back to their car. They were really sweet.
We ate and talked about everything, reliving it like you do, and it was awesome. I love fangirling in person because we don't get to do that often, it's such a great feeling when others understand you. We gushed over James, of course, who was just so amazing. I am so proud of him, like a proud mom.
We said goodbye after about an hour and I walked back to the hotel. I was still floating on air, it turned out to be a perfect night. James did it again, he made it all worth it.
When I got back and plugged in my phone, I saw there was an email from Amtrak. My train home was somehow canceled? How does that happen? But that meant I couldn't go to the toy drive, which I'd been nervous about anyway because I might miss the train. So either way, I couldn't go. I felt bad for Ally, I'd wanted to get her letter to Carlos, and of course I wanted to see James again, but it wasn't meant to be. Amber, Emily, and Joanna did go and it turns out James didn't end up going, for whatever reason (I'm sure it was a good one, he doesn't flake on stuff like that), and I had to shake my head at that. It figures I couldn't make it, James wasn't there. Things with James just always work out, and if they don't, there's a reason. I don't even know.
Even though I didn't have a ticket home or even know times for the buses and subway, the ride home was smooth and easy. I just went on instinct and everything worked out beautifully. At the Metro station a guy showed up and sat next to me and I looked over and almost fainted. James Maslow was sitting right next to me. I did a double take and it wasn't him, but holy shit it could've been his twin. Black trenchcoat, tight black pants, black leather boots. My heart went insane and I tried not to stare but wow. I kept sneaking glances, it was creepy how much he looked like James. When I got on the subway, he sat next to me again and I just...wow. It was like having James along for the ride. It was crazy. We got off at the same stop and he went up the stairs ahead of me and then on his way but I was breathless, he was so gorgeous. Made me feel safe in a place I usually have a hard time keeping the panic attacks away, because I get claustrophobic on the subway. So thank you, James.
Got home with plenty of time to nap before work, and as always, I was so glad I'd taken the chance and gone. There was a moment while they were resetting James' kitchen scene when I was watching him (okay, so my eyes never left him when he was in the room, let's be honest). He was talking to someone in the crew and I remember hearing Joby say something like "It's Friday night at Paramount Studios! There's no where else you'd rather be, right?" And I was staring at James and I said, "No. There is nowhere else I'd rather be right now." It hit me then that I was where I most wanted to be in the whole world, that even though I went through a bunch of shit to get there, I was where I wanted to be. And how rare is it that we can say "If I could be anywhere in the world right now, it would be right here"? But in that moment I could say it. There was no place in the entire world I would rather be. And I stared at James overwhelmed because I was with him and that's so rare. Moments like that are why I do this, why I keep going to these events and concerts. Because no matter what, James always make it worth it. And that night, once again, James came through.
But damn, I hope he takes a break because I can't afford to go anywhere else this month and I'm tired. Knowing James, though, he won't stop until Christmas. That man is such an overachiever! But I love him so much and every second with him is a blessing. Every single second.
I arrived home from the Hollywood Christmas Parade trip on Monday. That day, my friend Ally asked if I'd do her a huge favor, and if she sent me a letter for Carlos would I get it to him next time something came up. I said of course, but warned her I didn't think there would be anything more before next year. She said she understood, but just in case. I agreed.
Tuesday morning I woke up to a tweet from my friend Amber (@spacematadors) telling me James was going to be down the street from her Saturday. I had no idea what she was talking about, but a suspicion it was the toy drive Ryan Potter put on last year. When I'd seen him the day before at the parade, I remembered the previous year when I'd considered going to it because Stephen Glickman was going. I didn't go in the end, but seeing Ryan Sunday reminded me of it and I wondered if he was doing it again this year because it sounded like something James and Carlos would do. Boom. Two days later, it was announced that not only was he hosting it again, James and Carlos would be in attendance. Amber wasn't kidding, the location is on the actual street where she lives, about five minutes away. Being a James girl, she was ecstatic and screaming and so excited. I was excited for her, too, especially since if I could go I'd get to see her again and I hadn't seen her since September for the “Figure It Out” episodes James and Carlos did.
So I spent the walk/ride to work researching the whole thing and planning out travel and it was going to work, but only just. I'd have to stay in a hotel in my city Friday night so that I could be at the train station at 5 A.M. to make it to L.A. as early as possible. We assumed there would be a huge crowd and it was taking place at a small gym, and I'd have to leave by 3:45 to make the train home in time to work my graveyard shift that night. So I could get to the place by ten and the event started at 3:15 but Amber said she'd be there early, too, so we'd at least have fun hanging out together while we waited. If I missed any of my buses or trains I'd be stuck in L.A. for the night AND have to miss work, and I was really nervous about that, but the guys are worth the risk. I texted Ally and told her something had come up, that I'd get her letter to Carlos if I could. And I was excited. I'd get to see James Maslow again. God, I love that man.
I went out Wednesday on my day off to print the train ticket and Ally's letter, and while I was on the bus home my friend Sharon (@the1nonlyglee) texted me that James tweeted he was doing “See Dad Run” again this week. I sat there on the bus shaking my head, I couldn't even be surprised because I'd had a feeling this was coming. Every time I watch James' first episode of the show I think “They need to bring Ricky back, have him make up for his asshole treatment and/or get his comeuppance.” So a few weeks ago Ryan Newman, Ramy Youssef, and Luke Benward from the show did a live chat and I watched it, hoping for some kind of clue. I'm glad I did, it was a lot of fun and I laughed a lot, Ramy is so funny. But I asked them on the chat how many more live tapings there were and Ryan said four. I knew James was home. It could happen.
Then Sunday (while I was in Hollywood for the parade), Ryan tweeted she was excited to film this week's episode with “recurring guest stars” and I knew. I just knew. I tweeted her to ask if it was James, but I never got an answer. So when Sharon texted me about James' tweet, I wanted to scream “I knew it! I KNEW it!” but of course on a bus you have to at least pretend to be normal. I was excited and freaking out but also frustrated because I'd have to change all my travel and hotel plans and was stuck on a bus with a phone that was about to die. I knew that with James making the announcement, tickets would go fast. I'd tried to see a taping of the show two weeks before when I was in Hollywood just for the heck of it, and it had been sold out even without James. So I was freaking out, wishing the bus could move faster.
Sharon came to the rescue once again. I gave her the website names for tickets and then my phone died. The next thirty minutes I had no idea if she'd gotten me a ticket or not. That was a very long thirty minutes.
But when I got home and turned my phone on, it was to a message I had a ticket reserved in my name, and there it was in my email. I started crying because it was gonna happen. I was going to see Ricky Adams again.
I tweeted to see if any of my local buddies could come. The girls I went with last time, Melissa and Maral, both had plans. Amber said she and Emily had gotten tickets already and I was so excited, this meant I'd get to spend more time with Amber! I love her, she's the sweetest thing. I'd met Emily twice before (once at KIIS FM in July but officially in September at the “Figure It Out” taping) and we hadn't talked a whole lot but what I knew of her I liked, so that was awesome, too.
Amber texted me and asked, “James will be there for sure, right?” and suddenly it hit me that it wasn't guaranteed. It all depended on how many scenes he had and where they would be shot and whether or not they'd finish all his scenes on Thursday, because they shoot both Thursday and Friday. I told her all of this, worried myself because it was entirely possible James wouldn't be there after all. But I prayed, and I figured if it was meant to be, it would be. Either way I'd have a good time, the taping was a lot of fun last time.
Friday finally arrived and it was hell getting to Hollywood. Everything kept going wrong and at one point I almost broke down in tears, it was just a nightmare from start to finish, and I remember sitting on a Greyhound and wanting to cry and I looked out the right window and we were passing an In-N-Out, which of course always reminds me of James. I kind of glared at it, thinking in my head “Nice try, James, but not even that's going to make me smile right now. The shit I go through for you, I swear.” So I faced forward again and was so upset and not even a mile up the freeway on my left, an entire In-N-Out factory appeared. Not just a restaurant, but the damn factory itself. I started laughing and gave in, trying to let go of the stress and just relax. If it was meant to be, it would be, and James would make it worth all the shit. There was a voice in my head that kept adding “if he's there” but I just prayed. James Maslow has not ever let me down and I held on to that, hoping it would be true again.
Got to Hollywood finally, two hours later than planned. After a stop at the FedEx to print out my ticket for "See Dad Run," and more nightmare travel experiences, I made it to my hotel. I had about thirty minutes to charge my phone, change (I was wet from rain, even with an umbrella), and get down to the studio. Luckily my hotel was a ten-minute walk to Paramount; I stay there for that reason. But I hadn't eaten yet and knew I'd have no chance once we got in line, so I planned to grab something at Astro Burger before heading to the lot.
Amber texted me and said they were there, so I went without charging my phone and just changed and headed out. I just wanted to be there already. I stopped at Pavilions and bought a sandwich, figured I could eat that and chips while waiting in line, though it would be tricky with an umbrella.
When I left the hotel again, the rain had stopped. There was a sliver of sunshine between the clouds and I felt this peace, like now that I was there everything would work out. Since I usually have such great luck when doing anything James-related, everything seems to run smoothly, I had started to wonder if my day from hell meant it wasn't going to work out. But the sun peeked through the clouds and I felt better. I'd made it, and whatever happened would happen.
I met up with Amber, Emily, and their friend Joanna (who feels about Cody Simpson the way I do about James, except I don't intend to marry or even date James haha), and we backtracked to Astro Burger because Joanna hadn't eaten, either.
We stayed there for about thirty minutes and headed up the street to the studio. There was a line forming by then, but I didn't know if it was for “See Dad Run” or “Marvin Marvin.” I'd just go in and ask security. While we were walking toward the light to cross Gower, a guy walked past that resembled Chris Fabregas and little and it reminded me that he'd tweeted earlier he was at the lot. I never did get to give him a tackle hug like I'd wanted in September and thought it would be awesome if I ran into him but doubted it would happen.
So we crossed the street when the light changed, and a group of maybe six people were crossing from the other side. I guess because he was still fresh in my mind, I scanned the faces of all of them and holy shit, Chris Fabregas was walking right toward me.
I didn't stop to think, it happened so fast and I couldn't believe my luck, that he was right there! I called out “Chris Fabregas!” and rushed to him, the poor guy looked so scared. Oh my God, I felt so bad but I knew if we were in a setting to do it properly he would've been so sweet, so I just went for it. In the middle of the crosswalk, I went in for a tackle hug and he was like “Okay...” and I said “I'm sorry, I'm scaring you, I'm a fan and I just want a hug” and he was like “Oh. Sure, okay...” and hugged me but the poor guy. Seriously, I NEVER DO THAT. I never attack a celebrity like that but it happened so fast and I thanked him and moved on and I'm sure his group of buddies teased him about it but I don't regret it. Somehow I always knew it would be a tackle hug with him haha.
We got in line and my phone was almost dead but I tweeted him to apologize for scaring him and said I'm usually much more polite. He tweeted me back and said “it was nice to see you for three seconds haha.” So then I was glad I did it. It made up for me not getting his DM in September until it was too late to go say hi.
The security people said the line was for both shows and they'd come out and separate us later. They eventually did, and we were maybe ten or fifteen people back in line. Amber and I were sweating bullets over the possibility that James might not be filming. We kept hoping James would tweet about it but there was nothing and just like in September for “Figure It Out” my stomach was in knots not knowing for sure.
When the people came out to get us all checked in, we heard one of the women saying there was a group of forty people coming who HAD to get in, and another bus with twenty more, and they all got first priority. My heart sank but we were close enough to the front that I figured we'd be okay. I hoped, anyway.
One of the pages caught my eye and I realized it was Taylor, who had been the guide on the tour I took in June with Sarah (@_adamantine) where we'd run into almost the whole cast. I was like “Taylor!” and told him he'd been my favorite guide ever (totally true) and after a few seconds he actually remembered me, I couldn't believe it. Probably because I reminded him of his cousin. He was like “Yeah, you were here on the last day of shooting when they were tearing everything down, right?” I said yes and he goes, “They're actually rebuilding the pool now.” He was the one who basically told us without actually telling us that the show was over and done. I was like “Yeah, they added on one more season” and we talked for a little bit about that.
They checked us in and once that was done, I knew we were good. We were definitely getting in, the only question at that point was would James be there?
We were let in and led toward the stage, and I kept my eyes peeled for any sign of James or someone like Halston or his dad. Nothing. I pointed out Mrs. Majakowski's lawn and the front porch of the Knight home as we passed, and just being there is so magical. I felt like I was home. I think that's my sixth time on the lot, and I love being there, it's a magical place.
So there was a big group of us being led down the street/alley and a truck started backing out, so they halted our group but the girls and I managed to get across before they broke us up. The ten or so of us that made it through kept walking toward the stage and when we got there they asked if anyone needed to use the restroom before we went in. We said no, not wanting to take a chance of missing anything, so it was just us and one guy who stood outside waiting then because everyone else went and the rest of our big group hadn't been given the choice; one of the pages said they'd all been taken to the bathroom before being led over.
We were standing between two trailers and while we were waiting Ryan Newman walked by and into one of them. I was like “Aww, it's Ryan!” I love her! Two minutes later Bailey Michelle Brown, who plays the little girl Janie, walked by with some adults. She's so cute! Right after that Alanna Ubach (the wife/mom) passed us and we were like “Damn, the whole cast is coming through.” It was awesome! They were all going into what we assumed was the make-up trailer, behind us. I mentioned that my favorite character is the son, and not even a minute later he was right there. Then we all kind of looked at each other, we were all thinking the same thing. James could be in one of the trailers we were standing between. We joked about it but my heart was racing because it wasn't impossible. It was actually probable.
I watched Jackson Brundage (the son) walk into the stage building, watched him open the door and step in, and kept my eyes on it. Sure enough, James Maslow stepped out. He was turned away from us talking to someone but I knew of course (hello, it's James) and I kind of gasped and hissed to the girls “James!” and grabbed Amber's arm (they weren't facing that way) and he caught me alerting them. Our eyes met for a split second before I turned away, the jerk caught me and knew we were there for him. We were all whispering “Okay, be cool, don't scare him, be cool.” He walked by us and toward the trailer across from us but gave us a smile and said “Hey guys, how you doing?” We all said hi and he continued on, and after he went into the trailer we started quietly spazzing.
Amber and I kept hugging, we were both shaking and just like “He's here! Oh my God, he's here!” Joanna goes, “Well, I'm guessing James is filming tonight” and we laughed and Emily (I think?) said he could probably see us spazzing from that trailer but we were just so excited. James was there! I told Amber she would for sure be getting her picture with James (that was her goal for the night, it's all she's wanted for a long time), we were going to make it happen.
We suddenly realized a bunch of people were passing us and that they'd started letting everyone in and by the time we got in a lot of the seats were filled. Everyone was being herded to the middle section but I asked a page if we could sit on the left, because I knew we'd get out quicker that way after the show and also because I'd sat there last time and was able to watch James in between his scenes. The guy said it was fine and we found our seats, and we were there. We were so damn excited!
The emcee dude I love from the last time was there again, good old Joby (or however you spell it), and at the end of our row was the older guy I'd sat next to before. I almost went over and said hi but then it started.
I'm going to try to remember everything about the taping but I'll forget a lot of it, I'm sure. It's of course all a blur. I remember that it was so hot in there I almost passed out at one point. Not even kidding. Joby commented on the heat as well (I remember Emily making a joke about “Is it hot in here or is it just James?”), and my blood pressure was really high for some reason. Probably the excitement. I seriously considered going outside for a few minutes, it was that bad. But I tried to focus on and enjoy the show and eventually felt a little better.
They showed us James' first episode before beginning filming of the new one, just to make sure everyone knew the back story. That was fun to watch with other fans, and it was kind of surreal to sit in the same room I'd seen it filmed and watch it again. It was weird to think that what I was watching had happened right there in front of me just a few months ago.
SPOILER ALERT. James has four scenes in this episode, and two of them were taped the night before. In the first one, he's in hockey gear. HOCKEY GEAR. It's brief but cute and the Hobbs family has started a new tradition called “Boo Ricky Night.” They watch the T.V. show and whenever Ricky's on the screen, they boo. It's “family bonding time” now. It was so funny, me and Amber were like “Aww, poor Ricky.” Then there's a scene between David and his wife where she tries to convince him to forgive Ricky. Turns out he's apologized numerous times for being such a jerk. I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! I was so happy, this meant we'd get a nice version of Ricky Adams.
So at one point the wife plays voicemails that Ricky has left and THAT VOICE OH MY GOD I LOVE JAMES. HE IS SO CUTE. He's all sad and mopey and apologetic. It was so precious. Amber and I were like “Awwwwww” we just kept going “Awwwww,” you wanted to hug him. And we had to listen to that three times, that plaintive begging tone in James' voice. God, I love James.
The episode is called "See Dad Campaign" and centers around Emily running for class president against Ted McGinley's son. The actual Ted McGinley who was on "Happy Days" with Scott Baio and played Jefferson Darcy on "Married...with Children." Seeing Scott Baio and Ted McGinley together...wow. I had a crush on both of them when I watched "Happy Days" as a kid. So I was flailing over that, and praying Ted would be filming, too.
The first live scene James shot was in the kitchen, which meant he was way down to our left. So we weren't really close for that, but we could still see him easily for most of it because of where he was positioned. Joby told us all that when James came in for the scene, we couldn't scream but had to be quiet. He thought we were gonna scream haha. But James was outside the kitchen door and we saw him and Amber and I grabbed each other and alksjdsslsjkdsjfkd. So in the scene, he knocks on the door and makes this begging face like "Please let me in" and it's so cute, he comes in with a box of cupcakes as an apology to David. And he's so full of remorse and sad and like...GOD WE JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM. And the kids come in and see him and they start booing him and he's like "It's okay, I deserve it" and ALKDSLFKDGKFD JAMES GOD MY HEART. HE'S JUST SO SAD AND LOST. Finally Ricky's about to just leave and David caves and is like "It's okay" and OH MY GOD. RICKY DOES THIS SUDDEN HOPEFUL SPIN AND HIS FACE LIGHTS UP AND HE LITERALLY RUNS ACROSS THE ROOM TO TACKLE DAVID IN A HUG AND HIS FACE IT WAS THE "I KNEW YOU'D COME BACK FOR ME" FACE AND HE'S JUST SO HAPPY AND HE WAS FACING US AND THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE GOD MY HEART. Amber and I were dying over him. And then at one point David says "Hold on, Ricky" and Ricky hugs him again and David's like "I didn't mean literally." And there was talk about biting David's leg because in a scene they shot the day before, Ted McGinley actually bites his leg and Ricky looks so serious and goes, "I would NEVER bite your leg, David." GAH THAT MAN I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE IS SUCH A FLAWLESS ACTOR. LIKE SERIOUSLY HE IS SO PROFESSIONAL AND PERFECT AND NEVER MESSES UP A LINE OR LOSES HIS COMPOSURE AND HE IS JUST A DREAM TO WATCH.
And then the daughter Emily shows up, and he tries to apologize to her for the way he treated her in the last episode but she doesn't budge, instead she boos him right in his face. Poor Ricky. He begs her to listen to him and she hesitates, because like...who can resist that face begging you? But right then I knew exactly how the episode would end, how that would be resolved, and I ended up being right. Yay!
In between scenes they play music and when they played "Big Time Rush" Joby ran over to us (because we were the resident Rushers, more enthusiastic than the rest I guess?). Emily and Amber sang into the mic and James watched them, laughing and giving Emily a thumbs up but she didn't even notice, her back was to him. We all got huge smiles from James at some point because of our enthusiasm. He sang along to the song for a bit himself, it was precious. And then "What Makes You Beautiful" came on and he was talking to someone or something and started bopping his head to the music and then you could tell when it him what song it was. He stopped and suddenly spun around, his face set, and crossed his arms and moved off the stage area to the perimeter. I thought it was just my imagination but Emily later told me she saw it, too. So Carlos isn't the only one. Just saying.
There is a really funny running joke about “Where's Waldo?” in the episode and can I just say how much I love Ramy Youssef? He plays Kevin and between him and the son, I crack up through that show. I was hoping to get a chance to at least say hi to Ramy and tell him how much I loved the "Cookie Song" he made up on the spot on the live chat I watched. But he is a funny guy.
So the final scene includes James, and while much of it was filmed the day before, we did get to see a small part of it done live. They play what's already been filmed in between scenes so we can keep up with what's going on, and there's a scene that James shot Thursday where he does a duet with Emily. They sing Kelly Clarkson's "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)" and wow. Just wow. We knew he'd be doing some kind of dancing because they had a choreographer on set the day before but the singing I was not expecting and when the song started Amber and I were freaking out. Quietly, but we were freaking out. James Maslow is so amazing. I had my hands over my mouth for the whole song, we couldn't breathe and we were both crying and it sounds ridiculous but when you're there caught up in the moment you're just overwhelmed and I'm seriously thanking God we didn't see that filmed live because we would have been screaming and sobbing and disrupted everyone because HOLY SHIT JAMES. THE MAN IS SO PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL AND HIS VOICE AND THE WAY HE MOVES AND HOW IS HE REAL?
I later saw Amber's tweets from right after we watched that scene and I was laughing because they so perfectly matched my own reaction. We were both in tears and I think I even saw Emily wipe her eyes because we were in awe of him. And you know that sound the girls make in the previous episode, that little sound when Ricky says something that melts them? We were totally making that sound haha. My God, it was the most beautiful thing and I just kept thinking that I can't wait to see this, to see James on his own and I never thought I would ever feel that way but seeing him shine on his own, it's so different. I love BTR more than anything else in this world, but James...he's so ready. He's going to be so amazing once he gets free. I'm so conflicted over that, because I don't want BTR to end ever but at the same time, I can't wait for more of this. But we get one more year of BTR and I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts.
Anyway, after they showed us that, James filmed his little scene at the end and it was really cute. He looks at Emily at one point and says, “Anything for you, Blue Eyes” and she does that melting sound and we made it, too. GOD THAT MAN JUST...UGH. Another running joke in the episode is Ricky's mom, who we never see but we do hear keep hearing her voice. Amber and I thought the voice was familiar, I'm curious to find out who it is. And she's funny. They're standing there in the school auditorium and over the intercom we hear "Ricky Adams, your mother is waiting for you" or something like that and he's so embarrassed he keeps doing this "Moooooooom" whiny thing that's actually very much like Kendall Knight, now that I think about it. It's so so adorable. And then he takes off muttering "I need to learn how to drive."
After he walks out the scene continues, but he walked out and stopped below us and Amber and I could see him from our seats. I watched him stand there and fidget and shift his weight and I don't know, he's just beautiful no matter what he does. He did that rubbing his hands together thing he does that for some reason kills me. I don't even know. But they filmed that scene in two takes and then suddenly it was over. But Ted was there! We did get to see him film a small part.
The curtain call began and James was down below us again. Amber told me to switch seats with Joanna so I could lead them where we needed to go, I had told them we'd have to book it out of there fast to get to James. So we switched and James came out for his bow and we screamed really loud, and when they were all out there James picked up Scott Baio's daughter and had her on his hip and danced with her. God, I love that man. I was entranced watching him and suddenly people started to leave and there was like a traffic jam. Amber shot over the seats in front of us, she got out quick and zoomed through everyone to get to James, it was so cute because she's normally pretty shy but she was GONE. She was the first fan to make it to James and we caught up just in time to get there when she reached out to get his attention.
I was determined to get a hug, too, but Amber's pic was priority. She got James' attention and talked to him for a second, I couldn't hear what he said but Amber later told me she mentioned the toy drive and he said “I'm gonna try to make it.” She spun and asked me to get a pic of them with her phone, and of course I said yes. Got to stare into James' eyes while doing that, any moment when your eyes meets James' is like...have I mentioned I love that man? I took the pic and told her to make sure it came out, because I'm not too familiar with iPhones. He took a pic with Emily while she was doing that and of course, the pic didn't come out. I'm lame. Scott Baio came up and asked if he could borrow James for a second, he was really nice, so we waited while James took pics with Scott's daughter. THEY WERE SO CUTE OMFG. So James turned back to us and Amber asked again for a pic and James was so sweet with his “Of course” and this time Joanna took it while I just watched. Then Joanna got a pic with him and stepped back and I was next, I started to step forward to ask for a hug and a girl to my left cut me off. She stepped in front of me and said something to James and he said “I have to do this first, but I'll get to everybody.” She looked annoyed but whatever. So he turned away to take pics with some dudes that another guy had come over to ask James to do and while he was doing that, a woman came by and started trying to clear the stage. I was like “No. No no no, I'm getting my hug.” But she was determined and we tried to stay but she started herding us out and I wanted to cry. I was so close. I know I shouldn't complain, I've gotten so much and more than I deserve from James in the past, but I just really wanted a hug. I was so bummed. I didn't even get to say hi or anything, though we'd exchanged a few glances that told me he remembered me. So that's something! :D
We got shoved out of the stage with everyone else and we kind of hung around with a loosely-formed big group of both fans and cast members. We got to talk to Ramy and I shook his hand and told him how much I loved the “Cookie Song.” He appreciated that and said they'll be doing more chats in the future.
The girls pointed out Ted McGinley near us and I'd seen him already but I just didn't have the heart to go up to him. I'm such a baby, I swear. I should've just been happy to be there, and I was, but I'd been wanting that hug so badly. So even when we were talking to Ramy I was kind of down, and I let Ted go without approaching. I was just so upset that the other girl had gotten in there before me when it was clearly my turn. And that sounds ridiculous too, it's not like there's an order to it or rules. But I'd been waiting and when it was my turn she got in there and because of that, I missed my hug. So I was really sad.
James was still inside, though, and we kind of hung around hoping he'd come out like all the other cast members. The girls were sweet, they knew I wanted my hug. We eventually saw him, he had gotten closer to the exit but kept getting stopped by people, and that's when the pages started kicking us out. He was there, I could see him, but I couldn't get to him. So Emily lied and said we were waiting for a friend still inside but the page knew she was lying and said "No one's left inside, you have to leave." I kept looking back and he was slowly getting closer to the exit so I kind of just didn't move. I actually started backing very slowly toward the stage building. I saw the girl and her friend leaving, she looked sad and I felt bad again for her, too, but I was like "You cost me my hug. Too bad." But I felt bad thinking that. So the page got us walking, but I went slow. I told the girls to slow it down, hoping James would catch up to us. I kept looking back and he was closer but they were pushing us out so finally the girls started walking faster, not even realizing I was dropping further back, but I took my time and prayed. Finally I said fuck it, the worst they can do is tell me to leave and I turned back and started walking toward him. He was right there at the door. I was stopped by a chick who said "Are you waiting to talk to someone in there?" And I knew I couldn't lie, she would know, but just then James started to come out and I said "I just need one second with him and then I promise I'll leave, please." She said "No, you have to leave" and I said "Please" but I was stalling, he was walking toward us. She got really pissy and said "You know, I'm just trying to do my job" and I said "I know, just one thing please one thing" and suddenly he was there so I stepped past her and he saw me and said hi. It was so rushed and I'm sure he figured I'd want a pic and if I'd asked, he would've done it. He's just that kind of guy. The chick tried to stop me again but he was walking to me so she gave this really pissy "I give up" sigh and I hurried and said "Hi, can I just have a hug? Promise I'll leave then." And he did his "Sure, sweetie" and hugged me and while we were hugging I got a "mwah" sound in my ear. He did a fucking "mwah" sound where his lips were like almost touching my ear in an air kiss thing and I thought “I did not just hear that, no way” but when we pulled back we smiled and I knew I'd really heard it. I thanked him and said goodnight and he said "No problem" like he does and I turned around to catch up with the girls. They were like “You got your hug!" And I said "I'm happy, we can go now!" And I was smiling so huge. Just so huge, like I was floating on air. That man is so beautiful.
On the way out of the lot we passed Taylor, who hailed me and asked how it went, if we got to see James. We said yes and that it was amazing and Taylor commented on what a good taping it was other than the lack of air conditioning. He asked "Now did you guys know he was on the show tonight or..." And I laughed and said "Did we know...we're here, aren't we?" So we talked a little more about BTR and he said we should come back for another tour and I said I already have one planned in January.
After we left the lot we walked down to Astro Burger because we were all hungry. On the way some ladies in a parked car stopped us to talk, they'd been inside and told Emily she sang well. They got to meet Scott, I think they said? And Amber showed them her pic with James (which is adorable!) and they were bummed because they'd made the mistake I made last time and followed rules by taking phones and cameras back to their car. They were really sweet.
We ate and talked about everything, reliving it like you do, and it was awesome. I love fangirling in person because we don't get to do that often, it's such a great feeling when others understand you. We gushed over James, of course, who was just so amazing. I am so proud of him, like a proud mom.
We said goodbye after about an hour and I walked back to the hotel. I was still floating on air, it turned out to be a perfect night. James did it again, he made it all worth it.
When I got back and plugged in my phone, I saw there was an email from Amtrak. My train home was somehow canceled? How does that happen? But that meant I couldn't go to the toy drive, which I'd been nervous about anyway because I might miss the train. So either way, I couldn't go. I felt bad for Ally, I'd wanted to get her letter to Carlos, and of course I wanted to see James again, but it wasn't meant to be. Amber, Emily, and Joanna did go and it turns out James didn't end up going, for whatever reason (I'm sure it was a good one, he doesn't flake on stuff like that), and I had to shake my head at that. It figures I couldn't make it, James wasn't there. Things with James just always work out, and if they don't, there's a reason. I don't even know.
Even though I didn't have a ticket home or even know times for the buses and subway, the ride home was smooth and easy. I just went on instinct and everything worked out beautifully. At the Metro station a guy showed up and sat next to me and I looked over and almost fainted. James Maslow was sitting right next to me. I did a double take and it wasn't him, but holy shit it could've been his twin. Black trenchcoat, tight black pants, black leather boots. My heart went insane and I tried not to stare but wow. I kept sneaking glances, it was creepy how much he looked like James. When I got on the subway, he sat next to me again and I just...wow. It was like having James along for the ride. It was crazy. We got off at the same stop and he went up the stairs ahead of me and then on his way but I was breathless, he was so gorgeous. Made me feel safe in a place I usually have a hard time keeping the panic attacks away, because I get claustrophobic on the subway. So thank you, James.
Got home with plenty of time to nap before work, and as always, I was so glad I'd taken the chance and gone. There was a moment while they were resetting James' kitchen scene when I was watching him (okay, so my eyes never left him when he was in the room, let's be honest). He was talking to someone in the crew and I remember hearing Joby say something like "It's Friday night at Paramount Studios! There's no where else you'd rather be, right?" And I was staring at James and I said, "No. There is nowhere else I'd rather be right now." It hit me then that I was where I most wanted to be in the whole world, that even though I went through a bunch of shit to get there, I was where I wanted to be. And how rare is it that we can say "If I could be anywhere in the world right now, it would be right here"? But in that moment I could say it. There was no place in the entire world I would rather be. And I stared at James overwhelmed because I was with him and that's so rare. Moments like that are why I do this, why I keep going to these events and concerts. Because no matter what, James always make it worth it. And that night, once again, James came through.
But damn, I hope he takes a break because I can't afford to go anywhere else this month and I'm tired. Knowing James, though, he won't stop until Christmas. That man is such an overachiever! But I love him so much and every second with him is a blessing. Every single second.