I am not sure how i feel anymore.........like you all care any ways

May 21, 2006 21:03

I got a letter from my mom asking me to find her a man WTF she never helps me when i am in need and these past few years when she needs something i drop everything for her and not a thank you nothing only asking me how much money i have and lets go to the bar or get high i am so shick of her shit sometimes why can't i have normal parents ,But enough about that tho grrrrrrrrrr. Ok i am in this relationship i am not so sure how to feel at times my boyfriend likes to say he is a slut he tells me this is not a bad thing ok true he has never slept with anyone else yet so this is good but i feel he sometimes has regrats about us bein to geather other times i feel i said the wrong things at the wrong time or i talk to softley or i just plain ugly and stupid to see i am worthless ,I am so confused lots of time not noing what to do some times it very hard for me to controll my anger and i get so i guess up tie about life i forget were or whom i am mad at ... I know i should just move out of my boyfriends mom's house i feel like i am weighing him down to much and i am to much of a berden ... i can't help it tho at times ......what do i do ? kill myself i just don't know i am so drivin in much desperation and feel alone no one to turn to i am lost ..and scared,i need so people to chill with but this is the tri shitties everyone is to stuck up to be seen with me and whats worse my b-day is coming up in june i hope i get hit my a bus so i don't have to face that i have no friends anymore my life sucks anyways.
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