In a life where I have an embarrassment of riches in the friend department, where I have met some of the most special people in my life right here in this very journal, there comes along a person that just changes everything. A person that makes you want to be better, to reach further, to put a smile on their face that becomes permanent.
flaming_muse is such a friend. It took us years of politely smiling at one another in mutual friends' journals before we finally figured out how to talk to each other. And from that point, it's become a need in my life to talk to her daily. And when I say daily, I mean that it's not uncommon for us to have email threads that exceed 75 in one day. (Not to mention texts, and actual writing work/communication.)
There's not a day that goes by that I'm not grateful for her friendship, or that I'm not grateful for the light and support and love she gives me daily. I highly recommend getting a friend like that in your life (but you're not taking mine. :D) Happiest of birthdays, the Kurt to my Blaine! (In a platonic sense, of course. :D)
Author: Stoney
Title: I Will Always Feel The Same
Rating:
Word count: 1150
Summary: Sometimes it's best to not ask ourselves “what if's.” FLUFF!! I promise.
A/N: Written as a birthday gift for my lovely RL and fandom friend,
flaming_muse. Unbeta'd, because she's my beta! Poor treatment to make her work on her birthday... All mistakes are mine, but taking her hand on the stairs (in a metaphoric way) wasn't one of them. Quite the opposite, actually. <3 (Title is taken from “I Will,” by The Beatles.)
“What if I'd hesitated?”
“Hmm?” Blaine looked up from Kurt's lap where his head was resting, startled by the concern on Kurt's face.
“Blaine. What if I'd hesitated? What if I didn't call out that day?”
Now Kurt was biting his fingernail. “Kurt? I don't know what you're talking about.” Blaine shifted until he was facing towards the back of the sofa, the movie on the tv completely forgotten. He pulled his head back so it was resting on Kurt's knee and he could see Kurt's face fully.
Kurt stopped chewing on himself and looked down at Blaine in shock. “The stairs, of course! What if I had hesitated?”
“The...stairs?” Blaine felt completely and utterly lost. What on earth was-- “Oh. Oh! Dalton?” He couldn't help the smile that spread across his face at the memory of their meeting all those years ago. He finally gave in that this conversation was going to happen, pushing himself up so that he was mostly in Kurt's lap and resting his back against the arm of the sofa. He drew his fingers down the side of Kurt's neck, his heart picking up in speed as it always did at the sight of Kurt's eyes fluttering closed from the contact. That Kurt still reacted like it was the first time he was being touched, even after all of these years, never failed to make something in Blaine's heart soar that he was still able to make Kurt feel special.
“Yes,” Kurt breathed. “Those stairs.” His eyes snapped open, the momentary lull seemingly gone. “What if I just assumed that everyone was racing to some boring class? What if my car had broken down? What if--”
His frantic rambling was shut off by a firm kiss from Blaine.
“But it didn't.”
“But what if it had?”
“But it didn't.”
“But,” Kurt tried again, his voice almost frantic even as he became quieter and quieter, as if he was afraid to speak loudly and tempt fate, “what if some random Freshman had turned around when I called out?”
Blaine took Kurt's hand in his, lacing their fingers together. He pressed his forehead into Kurt's neck and nuzzled just at the collar of Kurt's shirt. “Then he would have told you where everyone was going and you would have followed.”
“But--”
“And then,” Blaine said, interrupting him and using the fingers of his free hand to draw nonsense patterns on the front of Kurt's shirt, just over his heart, “you would have come into the Commons and heard us sing. And then I would have seen you, because let's face it, that wasn't any kind of proper disguise you had on that day.” He smiled against Kurt's skin as he felt Kurt's soft laughter. “And I would have done something ridiculous, like jumping on some furniture or sliding across the floor on my knees, doing everything I could to get your attention.”
He pulled the edge of Kurt's shirt away to expose the little hollow between his collarbones and ghosted his lips over it, smiling against Kurt's pale skin as goosebumps rose and Kurt shivered.
“But...and I know I keep saying 'but',” Kurt said, his voice already going breathy, “but you didn't want me then. So what would have happened?”
At that, Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand and clearly this wasn't something Blaine could kiss away. He sat up and really looked at him. Kurt was worrying his lip and his eyes were searching Blaine's intently.
With a heavy sigh, Blaine threaded his hand into Kurt's hair, pulling him closer so they could be forehead to forehead, breathing the same air. His voice barely a whisper, Blaine said, “And then I would have spent night after night wondering who you were and why you were there. I would have gone all over town trying to catch sight of you. And when I finally did,” he pulled back and stared intently into Kurt's worried gaze, “I would have wanted to know everything about you.”
Kurt seemed to be holding his breath. Blaine cupped his cheek, his thumb drawing lightly over Kurt's prominent cheekbone. “And I wouldn't be able to get you out of my head. I would have forgotten all about that curly-haired nimrod that worked at The Gap. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about you. I always wanted you; I just didn't know how I was going to have you.”
He pressed their lips together lightly, his own shoulders dropping in relief when he felt Kurt sigh and lean into him. “Kurt, we would have found a way to each other. In any universe--” He corrected himself and held Kurt more firmly by the jaw just at his ear, his thumb stroking over the fullness of Kurt's bottom lip. “In any alternate thing you're thinking of, we end up together. That's how it's supposed to be, don't you think?”
Kurt didn't say anything for a moment; his eyes searched Blaine's and seemingly found something satisfactory, as his whole countenance lit up and he raked his fingers through Blaine's hair. “I do. But I like knowing that you do, too.”
Blaine's throat felt hot and tight at the sincere look of love on Kurt's face. He swallowed past it as best as he could, saying in a voice choked with emotion, “I do.” He laced his left hand with Kurt's, feeling that same sense of rightness when Kurt's thumb traced over the thin band of platinum on Blaine's ring finger as he had the day Kurt had put it on his hand in front of all of their loved ones.
“Kurt...I would have looked for you forever.”
Kurt's eyes closed as he held Blaine even tighter, sighing sweetly. “One day I'm going to roll my eyes when you repeat that to me.”
Blaine chuckled softly, trying to control his grin in order to press a kiss to Kurt's temple. “You love it.”
Kurt breathed out a gentle laugh, his hand pressed just over Blaine's heart and his thumb working back and forth over the soft cotton of Blaine's t-shirt. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Blaine shifted their bodies so that Kurt's weight was now on him, no simple feat on their narrow sofa, but he'd mastered the art of getting Kurt into his arms just so over the years.
Kurt hummed his pleasure, resting his cheek on Blaine's shoulder as he reached out to grab the remote and switch their television off.
Blaine took Kurt's hand back, kissing his knuckles in the softly genteel manner that he knew still sent a thrill of pleasure through his husband. “And because I love you, I am never letting you watch Sliding Doors again.”
Kurt laughed, his arms tightening around Blaine's waist. In every conceivable “what if,” Blaine knew down to his DNA that this was how it would always end: the two of them, together.
It should go without saying, but I'll say it anyway: I am 100% AGAINST spoilers and speculation. Do not mention anything that even hints at anything to come in S4. Please. Please please please. :) And you should
go here to send her birthday greetings, should you be so inclined!