Take a minute and maybe make something better [if this applies]
I don't normally post this sort of thing, but I'm just so sad about it, about something that is for such a STUPID reason. One of The Boy's best friends, someone that I find charming and funny and sweet, tried to kill himself, we just learned. His parents have been fighting all the time, about money, about their marriage, and when the friend would try to get them to stop (and I know this boy, I'm sure it was nothing short of woebegone begging) they would yell at him.
Being told you're stupid, being told to shut up, being told you're the source of financial problems (this is all stuff my son has overheard, which is why I've always encouraged them to come to our house) is damaging. Clearly. I'm so angry at these parents; I'm so sad for our friend.
My son asked (as he nervously tugged on his hair) if it would be okay for him to go to their house and just leave the message that he's thinking of his friend, and that he wants to help in some way. Of course, I told him. We don't know which hospital he is in, so until we find out, I'm just sitting here fretting.
Just...if you blame your adult problems on your child's existence, and you verbalize that to your child - know that I pretty much think you're a POS. And maybe apologize to them and tell them you love them. And keep them out of your worries. They're kids.
[ETA] The Boy just came back from the friend's house, and he had just come home. He going to stay at a facility where people will give him a lot of positive attention and help, and I'm crying as I write that, because I'm so grateful. [the school's counselor made that happen, she's lovely.] The Boy hinted that the step-parent - the #1 offender - hasn't been back home. And the friend was reminded that he can call us, come over, whatever any time he feels scared, worried or angry. Because he's loved. [I really love my son, guys. I love that he was totally fine with telling another dude that he loves him. <3] <-- because that shouldn't be weird, am I right? Sigh.
Being told you're stupid, being told to shut up, being told you're the source of financial problems (this is all stuff my son has overheard, which is why I've always encouraged them to come to our house) is damaging. Clearly. I'm so angry at these parents; I'm so sad for our friend.
My son asked (as he nervously tugged on his hair) if it would be okay for him to go to their house and just leave the message that he's thinking of his friend, and that he wants to help in some way. Of course, I told him. We don't know which hospital he is in, so until we find out, I'm just sitting here fretting.
Just...if you blame your adult problems on your child's existence, and you verbalize that to your child - know that I pretty much think you're a POS. And maybe apologize to them and tell them you love them. And keep them out of your worries. They're kids.
[ETA] The Boy just came back from the friend's house, and he had just come home. He going to stay at a facility where people will give him a lot of positive attention and help, and I'm crying as I write that, because I'm so grateful. [the school's counselor made that happen, she's lovely.] The Boy hinted that the step-parent - the #1 offender - hasn't been back home. And the friend was reminded that he can call us, come over, whatever any time he feels scared, worried or angry. Because he's loved. [I really love my son, guys. I love that he was totally fine with telling another dude that he loves him. <3] <-- because that shouldn't be weird, am I right? Sigh.