In the Middle of Summer [s/a]
Title: In the Middle of Summer
Author: stones_at_moons
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1548 words
Pairing: Brendon Urie/Ryan Ross
POV: 3rd Person
Summary: Ryan was furious. He'd told Brendon to practice that song, even staying up most of the night just to help him. No sleep made Ryan irritable. He unstrapped his guitar and slammed it against the plush carpet.
"Fuck you, Brendon Boyd Urie!"
Disclaimer: I don’t own any characters. They belong to each other themselves. Title comes from the song “When the Day Met the Night” by Panic! at the Disco
Beta: bookxbutterfly
Author Notes: I tried to put off writing this, (cause, you know, it’s quite cliché) but every time I heard that song I just got this urge, as you do. So here it is. Criticise it well.
It was nearing the end of their stay at the cabin in the mountains. They had a couple of songs left, but Ryan was still working on completing the last couple of lyrics. Brendon had mumbled something about some songs he had written; they had used one or two, but Ryan was too proud to let Brendon do any more. Plus, the singer had done enough already.
Currently, the boys were in a small recording studio right under the roof of the two-story cabin. It was the sixth time they were playing, since Brendon kept messing up the bridge. The air was tense and, sure enough, Brendon’s voice quivered at the exact same place, unable to hold the note for once.
Ryan was furious. He’d told Brendon to practice that song, even staying up most of the night just to help him. No sleep made Ryan irritable. He unstrapped his guitar and slammed it against the plush carpet.
“Fuck you, Brendon Boyd Urie!”
The singer slowly inched away from the fuming guitarist, a look of shame on his face.
“What. The. Fuck?! You can’t even get that one little note right?! You’re completely useless in singing!” Ryan scoffed, unaware of the growing panic on his band members’ faces. “In fact, you’re completely useless in anything related to music, since you always fuck up the instrumental pieces, too.” He shook his head. “Probably had too much Red Bull again. You’ve always needed caffeine and drugs to feel good about yourself. Ever since your parents abandoned you ‘cause you wanted to join this stupid band. But I don’t blame them; I’m not surprised they didn’t want a son as stupid as you!”
Brendon opened his mouth, as if to stop Ryan from going any further, but he was on a roll.
“And you know, they were smart! They knew this band wouldn’t succeed with you as the lead singer! God, I regret the day I ever heard you sing!” Now Ryan was just letting out his pent-up anger, throwing it onto a person who never wronged him personally, only stirring up all these feelings Ryan had learned to ignore.
“You never would have made it to college anyway, ‘cause you know what, Brendon? You’re too stupid. And lazy. The lazy never succeed in life. And to top it all off, you’re not exactly a good-looking guy either! I mean look at you! Nobody will ever love you. Ever!”
Ryan huffed, doubling over and breathing harshly, tired from his rant. His eyes were closed, but a choked sob made him open his eyes again. Brendon stood there, tears streaming down his face, from those brown eyes which Ryan both hated and loved so much. They looked at him like they were begging to take back those hurtful words. But he didn’t, and Brendon ducked his head and rushed out of the room. It was silent after he left.
Spencer looked at Ryan disbelievingly. “I hope you’re happy now, Ryan. Brendon’s the only person who’s ever loved you and you basically told him to go die. Congrats,” he spat and quickly followed Brendon, who could be heard closing the door to the piano room downstairs.
Jon walked up slowly to Ryan. “Come find us when you wake up and have had a think.”
Before Ryan could ask when Jon had meant, and before he even knew what was coming, Jon raised his hand, and he was knocked out cold.
0.0
When Ryan woke, his face was covered in dry blood. It took him about 15 seconds to realise what he had done, and he immediately hurried to take a shower and stop the gears turning inside his head.
“Come find us when you wake up and have had a think.”
Dropping to his feet, Ryan slowly made his was to Jon and Spencer’s bedroom. Jon opened it and immediately beckoned him inside, gesturing for him to sit on the sheets of the freshly made bed.
“Look, Ryan, you have to understand something about Brendon; something you might not have picked up the few years you’ve known him. He’s very… delicate. After his parents kicked him out, all he’s had was his music.”
Ryan looked at the ground solemnly.
“You basically told him that he’s a hopeless case and that his music, his life, the only thing he has left... doesn’t mean anything.”
Jon went quiet and Spencer picked up from where he left off. “You have him, Ryan. The whole label knows you do. We’ve told Brendon already, repetitively, but guess what, Ryan? He didn’t believe us. You’re always telling him to fuck off, but he loves you anyway.”
Ryan looked up at Jon and Spencer. “Why didn’t he ever tell me?” Ryan whispered.
Spencer rolled his eyes. “You’re too busy moping about your own life to worry about others’. Face it, Ryan, you don’t know even half the things you think you know about Bren.”
Ryan stood suddenly. “Thanks,” he breathed, then rushed off to open the door. He flew down the staircase and came to a staggering halt in front of the piano room. Ryan’s breath caught in his throat when he heard a melody he had neither heard nor written the lyrics of.
“When the moon fell in love with the sun, all was golden in the sky; all was golden when the day met the night.”
Ryan couldn’t believe his ears. The tune was so sweet, so full of life and love. This must have been what Brendon had been sneaking off to do.
“When the sun found the moon, she was drinking tea in a garden, under the green umbrella trees in the middle of summer.”
Listening to the lyrics, memories started flooding back to him.
“Hey, I'm Brendon,” the hot, not-that-tall guy was bouncing on the spot next to an even shorter Pete, holding a Red Bull tightly in his hand. Ryan was wearing a green vest and scarf, which made him look like he just came out from living in a forest. Brendon was wearing no green, just black skinny jeans with a tight red top that revealed a flash of pale skin around his waist that Ryan had to physically stop himself from drooling over looking at.
“When the moon found the sun, he looked like he was barely hanging on, but her eyes saved his life in the middle of summer.”
Brendon was quiet when Ryan had finished explaining about his past. Ryan bowed his head, ready for Brendon to leave like so many had done before, but instead he felt him climb onto his lap, warm arms circling around his waist. Ryan raised his head and looked into Brendon’s eyes, disbelieving.
“I won’t let you go, Ry,” Brendon said simply. His dark brown eyes showed so much truth, so much love, so much understanding.
“Well, he was just hanging around, then he fell in love; and he didn’t know how, but he couldn’t get out. Just hanging around, then he fell in love...”
“I love you Ryan,” Brendon whispered in the bunk. Ryan wrapped his arms around Brendon tighter, kissing him next to his ear. Ryan smiled, and simply closed his eyes and leaned in gently; kissing the soft, plush lips he had constantly dreamt about. Then, he pulled away abruptly, realising for the first time what he was doing.
“Brendon, I can’t… I can’t do this,” the guitarist said as he watched Brendon’s face fall. “If we fuck up the band… I couldn’t do that to the others. I just… don’t love you like that. I’m sorry.” And with that, Ryan quickly stood and left the bus, pretending that he didn’t look back to see Brendon’s expression of anguish.
Ryan then realised that Brendon knew. He knew that Ryan loved him, but just couldn’t express it. He opened the door just as Brendon finished the song on a last long, wavering note. The dark-haired boy turns and looks at him, almost in a frightened way.
That’s when Ryan starts crying, rushing forward, and throwing his arms around a bewildered singer.
“I’m so sorry, Bren. I didn’t mean any of it. Especially the end-” Brendon looks like he’s about to protest, but Ryan quickly cuts him off. “No, Brendon, you don’t understand. When I said nobody will ever love you, I was lying through my teeth. The truth is…” Ryan hesitates, unsure whether to carry on or not, but he continues anyway. “The truth is that I love you. And it’s okay if you didn’t wait for me to realise, ‘cause I wouldn’t have either. But you just… had to know. From me.”
Ryan stared into Brendon’s eyes for a while, waiting for a reply. When none came, Ryan turned to leave. But Brendon reached out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him from walking out.
“Ryan, I still do love you. I do, really. It just,” he hesitated, “it’ll take me a little time to trust you fully again. That speech you gave… really hurt me.”
Ryan could see traces of tears swelling up in Brendon’s eyes, and hurried to kiss them away, tasting the salty tears on his tongue.
“I’ll give you a reason again, Brendon, trust me. Just you and me - we have all the time in the world.”
A/N2 : :D So, I'm aware that I kind of piled in the insults a little, but every single one I just had to put in. And I love making Ryan the bad guy. I have no idea why. Hope you enjoyed it :D
Author: stones_at_moons
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1548 words
Pairing: Brendon Urie/Ryan Ross
POV: 3rd Person
Summary: Ryan was furious. He'd told Brendon to practice that song, even staying up most of the night just to help him. No sleep made Ryan irritable. He unstrapped his guitar and slammed it against the plush carpet.
"Fuck you, Brendon Boyd Urie!"
Disclaimer: I don’t own any characters. They belong to each other themselves. Title comes from the song “When the Day Met the Night” by Panic! at the Disco
Beta: bookxbutterfly
Author Notes: I tried to put off writing this, (cause, you know, it’s quite cliché) but every time I heard that song I just got this urge, as you do. So here it is. Criticise it well.
It was nearing the end of their stay at the cabin in the mountains. They had a couple of songs left, but Ryan was still working on completing the last couple of lyrics. Brendon had mumbled something about some songs he had written; they had used one or two, but Ryan was too proud to let Brendon do any more. Plus, the singer had done enough already.
Currently, the boys were in a small recording studio right under the roof of the two-story cabin. It was the sixth time they were playing, since Brendon kept messing up the bridge. The air was tense and, sure enough, Brendon’s voice quivered at the exact same place, unable to hold the note for once.
Ryan was furious. He’d told Brendon to practice that song, even staying up most of the night just to help him. No sleep made Ryan irritable. He unstrapped his guitar and slammed it against the plush carpet.
“Fuck you, Brendon Boyd Urie!”
The singer slowly inched away from the fuming guitarist, a look of shame on his face.
“What. The. Fuck?! You can’t even get that one little note right?! You’re completely useless in singing!” Ryan scoffed, unaware of the growing panic on his band members’ faces. “In fact, you’re completely useless in anything related to music, since you always fuck up the instrumental pieces, too.” He shook his head. “Probably had too much Red Bull again. You’ve always needed caffeine and drugs to feel good about yourself. Ever since your parents abandoned you ‘cause you wanted to join this stupid band. But I don’t blame them; I’m not surprised they didn’t want a son as stupid as you!”
Brendon opened his mouth, as if to stop Ryan from going any further, but he was on a roll.
“And you know, they were smart! They knew this band wouldn’t succeed with you as the lead singer! God, I regret the day I ever heard you sing!” Now Ryan was just letting out his pent-up anger, throwing it onto a person who never wronged him personally, only stirring up all these feelings Ryan had learned to ignore.
“You never would have made it to college anyway, ‘cause you know what, Brendon? You’re too stupid. And lazy. The lazy never succeed in life. And to top it all off, you’re not exactly a good-looking guy either! I mean look at you! Nobody will ever love you. Ever!”
Ryan huffed, doubling over and breathing harshly, tired from his rant. His eyes were closed, but a choked sob made him open his eyes again. Brendon stood there, tears streaming down his face, from those brown eyes which Ryan both hated and loved so much. They looked at him like they were begging to take back those hurtful words. But he didn’t, and Brendon ducked his head and rushed out of the room. It was silent after he left.
Spencer looked at Ryan disbelievingly. “I hope you’re happy now, Ryan. Brendon’s the only person who’s ever loved you and you basically told him to go die. Congrats,” he spat and quickly followed Brendon, who could be heard closing the door to the piano room downstairs.
Jon walked up slowly to Ryan. “Come find us when you wake up and have had a think.”
Before Ryan could ask when Jon had meant, and before he even knew what was coming, Jon raised his hand, and he was knocked out cold.
0.0
When Ryan woke, his face was covered in dry blood. It took him about 15 seconds to realise what he had done, and he immediately hurried to take a shower and stop the gears turning inside his head.
“Come find us when you wake up and have had a think.”
Dropping to his feet, Ryan slowly made his was to Jon and Spencer’s bedroom. Jon opened it and immediately beckoned him inside, gesturing for him to sit on the sheets of the freshly made bed.
“Look, Ryan, you have to understand something about Brendon; something you might not have picked up the few years you’ve known him. He’s very… delicate. After his parents kicked him out, all he’s had was his music.”
Ryan looked at the ground solemnly.
“You basically told him that he’s a hopeless case and that his music, his life, the only thing he has left... doesn’t mean anything.”
Jon went quiet and Spencer picked up from where he left off. “You have him, Ryan. The whole label knows you do. We’ve told Brendon already, repetitively, but guess what, Ryan? He didn’t believe us. You’re always telling him to fuck off, but he loves you anyway.”
Ryan looked up at Jon and Spencer. “Why didn’t he ever tell me?” Ryan whispered.
Spencer rolled his eyes. “You’re too busy moping about your own life to worry about others’. Face it, Ryan, you don’t know even half the things you think you know about Bren.”
Ryan stood suddenly. “Thanks,” he breathed, then rushed off to open the door. He flew down the staircase and came to a staggering halt in front of the piano room. Ryan’s breath caught in his throat when he heard a melody he had neither heard nor written the lyrics of.
“When the moon fell in love with the sun, all was golden in the sky; all was golden when the day met the night.”
Ryan couldn’t believe his ears. The tune was so sweet, so full of life and love. This must have been what Brendon had been sneaking off to do.
“When the sun found the moon, she was drinking tea in a garden, under the green umbrella trees in the middle of summer.”
Listening to the lyrics, memories started flooding back to him.
“Hey, I'm Brendon,” the hot, not-that-tall guy was bouncing on the spot next to an even shorter Pete, holding a Red Bull tightly in his hand. Ryan was wearing a green vest and scarf, which made him look like he just came out from living in a forest. Brendon was wearing no green, just black skinny jeans with a tight red top that revealed a flash of pale skin around his waist that Ryan had to physically stop himself from drooling over looking at.
“When the moon found the sun, he looked like he was barely hanging on, but her eyes saved his life in the middle of summer.”
Brendon was quiet when Ryan had finished explaining about his past. Ryan bowed his head, ready for Brendon to leave like so many had done before, but instead he felt him climb onto his lap, warm arms circling around his waist. Ryan raised his head and looked into Brendon’s eyes, disbelieving.
“I won’t let you go, Ry,” Brendon said simply. His dark brown eyes showed so much truth, so much love, so much understanding.
“Well, he was just hanging around, then he fell in love; and he didn’t know how, but he couldn’t get out. Just hanging around, then he fell in love...”
“I love you Ryan,” Brendon whispered in the bunk. Ryan wrapped his arms around Brendon tighter, kissing him next to his ear. Ryan smiled, and simply closed his eyes and leaned in gently; kissing the soft, plush lips he had constantly dreamt about. Then, he pulled away abruptly, realising for the first time what he was doing.
“Brendon, I can’t… I can’t do this,” the guitarist said as he watched Brendon’s face fall. “If we fuck up the band… I couldn’t do that to the others. I just… don’t love you like that. I’m sorry.” And with that, Ryan quickly stood and left the bus, pretending that he didn’t look back to see Brendon’s expression of anguish.
Ryan then realised that Brendon knew. He knew that Ryan loved him, but just couldn’t express it. He opened the door just as Brendon finished the song on a last long, wavering note. The dark-haired boy turns and looks at him, almost in a frightened way.
That’s when Ryan starts crying, rushing forward, and throwing his arms around a bewildered singer.
“I’m so sorry, Bren. I didn’t mean any of it. Especially the end-” Brendon looks like he’s about to protest, but Ryan quickly cuts him off. “No, Brendon, you don’t understand. When I said nobody will ever love you, I was lying through my teeth. The truth is…” Ryan hesitates, unsure whether to carry on or not, but he continues anyway. “The truth is that I love you. And it’s okay if you didn’t wait for me to realise, ‘cause I wouldn’t have either. But you just… had to know. From me.”
Ryan stared into Brendon’s eyes for a while, waiting for a reply. When none came, Ryan turned to leave. But Brendon reached out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him from walking out.
“Ryan, I still do love you. I do, really. It just,” he hesitated, “it’ll take me a little time to trust you fully again. That speech you gave… really hurt me.”
Ryan could see traces of tears swelling up in Brendon’s eyes, and hurried to kiss them away, tasting the salty tears on his tongue.
“I’ll give you a reason again, Brendon, trust me. Just you and me - we have all the time in the world.”
A/N2 : :D So, I'm aware that I kind of piled in the insults a little, but every single one I just had to put in. And I love making Ryan the bad guy. I have no idea why. Hope you enjoyed it :D