*Sigh*
I have never felt so many different emotions at the same time. Anxiety, ambition, loneliness, love, joy. The odd thing is, is that I have no simple explanation for their sudden appearance. I think I have kept so many feelings to myself in the past month/year that simple references have began to trigger all my past emotions that I have had bottled up.
I think a lot of my anxiety is rooted in my need to succeed in school. Even though I am one in a family of four, I feel I am the object of aspiration for my entire extended family. I have high expectations for myself, and I know if I live up to my standards, my family will be more than proud of me. I am scared however that sometime in the near future I won’t be able to live up to these standards. It hasn’t been until this quarter that I have found a subject that I am truly passionate about... a subject in which I have no prior education or understanding of what will come in the future. Blindly I have chosen a path on a gut feeling. But what happens if my gut feeling is wrong?
Just recently I have been having strong feelings of ambition to broaden myself culturally. The idea of traveling this winter to a country in which I know nothing about their language or culture is very intimidating. After watching The Spanish Apartment, I was filled with ambition to really expand my horizons. I want to be able to travel and relate to the people I meet. So where do I start? I really want to become bilingual... maybe join the peace corps out of college where I can use my knowledge to help other people while continuing to broaden myself.
I have felt very lonely here at school. It is hard when the majority of my good friends live more than a hundred miles away. Those who do live nearby, we have seemingly grown further apart. On top of that, I am living with a roommate who I cannot relate to at all. This has just become ever so clear to me, and I am very thankful that I was able to see so many of the people I am closest to this past Thanksgiving.
It is quite ironic how a family falling apart can truly bring them closer together. Maybe it is only once the relationships you once took for granted falls into jeopardy that you realize its worth. I can’t wait until my family can all be together this winter; I love them all so much.
It is amazing how listening to a single song can bring about such strong emotions. Here I sit, listening to the Garden State soundtrack for the first time, overwhelmed with a sense of joy. I don’t know what about the music has brought about such feelings, but it is one that I never want to leave. Ironically it is the song 'Let Go' by Frou Frou that I have been listening to on repeat that I just can’t let go.
I think a lot of my anxiety is rooted in my need to succeed in school. Even though I am one in a family of four, I feel I am the object of aspiration for my entire extended family. I have high expectations for myself, and I know if I live up to my standards, my family will be more than proud of me. I am scared however that sometime in the near future I won’t be able to live up to these standards. It hasn’t been until this quarter that I have found a subject that I am truly passionate about... a subject in which I have no prior education or understanding of what will come in the future. Blindly I have chosen a path on a gut feeling. But what happens if my gut feeling is wrong?
Just recently I have been having strong feelings of ambition to broaden myself culturally. The idea of traveling this winter to a country in which I know nothing about their language or culture is very intimidating. After watching The Spanish Apartment, I was filled with ambition to really expand my horizons. I want to be able to travel and relate to the people I meet. So where do I start? I really want to become bilingual... maybe join the peace corps out of college where I can use my knowledge to help other people while continuing to broaden myself.
I have felt very lonely here at school. It is hard when the majority of my good friends live more than a hundred miles away. Those who do live nearby, we have seemingly grown further apart. On top of that, I am living with a roommate who I cannot relate to at all. This has just become ever so clear to me, and I am very thankful that I was able to see so many of the people I am closest to this past Thanksgiving.
It is quite ironic how a family falling apart can truly bring them closer together. Maybe it is only once the relationships you once took for granted falls into jeopardy that you realize its worth. I can’t wait until my family can all be together this winter; I love them all so much.
It is amazing how listening to a single song can bring about such strong emotions. Here I sit, listening to the Garden State soundtrack for the first time, overwhelmed with a sense of joy. I don’t know what about the music has brought about such feelings, but it is one that I never want to leave. Ironically it is the song 'Let Go' by Frou Frou that I have been listening to on repeat that I just can’t let go.