I was gonna wait til Anthony sent me his pictures to post this but, it's gonna take 10 years.
Don't care who reads this or not. Nothing important.
I had written a very long explanation of how I had been feeling, but I deleted it. For the same reason anyone ends up throwing away things that they write. They are either revealing too much or it doesn't apply anymore. This particular circumstance is a bit of both. I did, however, keep this:
Does anyone ever think about how illogical it is that we even exist? I keep thinking of Newton's law. An object at rest stays at rest unless an external force is applied. If this is true, would it not be true that everything is the result of an action? There is a constant chain of causes, leading up to this very moment in time. If the big bang is true, what was the cause of that action? And the cause and result, which in turn caused the action. If there is a God, how did He come to exist? According to that law, He was existing forever, or things were around forever, even the smallest units of anything. But everything must start somewhere, correct? It's common knowledge, that all things require a beginning. A cause for the very first cause in the chain reaction of mere existence. So which theory is false? I had a dream quite awhile ago. What one may define as an epic dream. The beginning of the end of all existence, universal. One star burned out and there was a wave of gray, of death, and it spread out like the effect of an atomic bomb. Other stars and planets burned out as it grew. As it slipped over the planets and all that existed within, there was death not only of the body but the soul. It was the end of everything, and when I had waken up I was a bit shaken by it. I listened to music and it had never sounded so good. Life itself seemed amplified. The sensory information we register is being compared to everything else in the world, but when it is compared to nothing, it is divine.
Ah, so much to say. But I guess I should just make separate posts instead of packing it all in one. Because no one really enjoys reading about what indifferent people think, right? Aaanyway. I've been chillin with Anthony, who I've lately been calling the Fonz due to certain mannerisms. I've posted about him before so you all should know some of our very long history as buddies. We went on some crazy adventures lately, trespassing into numerous places. Going through great lengths to do so. We consider ourselves something close to trespassing professionals. We will find our way in, despite security guards, alarms, barricades, and locked doors and windows. We particularly enjoy heights, as our pictures will prove. Come to think of it, maybe I shouldn't make this entry public. My good buddy just got out of a long term relationship and is looking for a lay. Anyone interested? I know, how obscenely blunt. But that is what most of the world has come to. Regardless, it is a serious question. My adorable and loving boyfriend may (and by may I mean most definitely), get jealous if I keep hanging out with him to try and get his mind off his depression, so... help would be greatly appreciated. If my adorable and loving boyfriend happens to be reading this, he should know that saying he may get jealous is not meant to be offensive, and that for me jealousy is a turn on. Something he should take advantage of as much as possible ;).
The first time we hung out near the beach it was Halloween and the wind
from the tropical storm was going crazy. We found an extremely tall
building under construction, and made it our mission to get on the roof.
We found an opening at the side of the building and went up 4 flights of
stairs and ended up at the back future pool area for the apartments. We
then somehow found a sliding glass door that wasn't barricaded (the
only) and started walking around in someone's future apt. We came upon
the elevator and he said the stairs must be close by. We found a door
with a light on behind it that said "keep doors closed at all times,"
and upon opening it he convinced me we wouldn't get caught. We found
another door soon after with the same print and opened it assuming by
gut instinct it was the staircase, and it was. So we crept as silently
as possible up about 20 flights of stairs among the sounds of drilling.
We entered an apt 3 floors below the top of the building because we
could hear someone higher up. That's where we found the amazing view in
the picture below.
Unfortunately I didn't have my real camera and used the shitty one on my phone.
The wind was howling crazzily up there so it fit the Halloween mood perfectly.
We returned the other night to find they had went through great lengths to
keep us out and security was roaming around so we decided to find
another tall building.
To make this story shorter, we found a hotel half the size at most. I
shimmied under the tiny space under the door on the staircase and let
him in. We then found the highest floor, and another hidden staircase,
and got into the attic. This was maybe 12 stories up, the highest we
could go, and they had windows. So, here is what we saw:
When we got tired of looking out windows we found that we could get from
the front of the hotel at the top floor to someone's back patio. The
door was locked so Anthony had to actually stand on the outside ledge to
get around to it. I just remember repeating, please don't die. I jumped
up on the ledge to do it myself and he opened the door for me and I felt
like a dumbass for forgetting that there was a door. I don't think
anyone is going to be able to picture what was going on.
Of course he wanted me to take pics of him for, surprise, myspace. So I
found some areas:
Just being stupid.
Why am I doing this?
&whatever
Then he wanted me to take pics of his new car, so he took me to an area that would make a decent background:
That's the only I'll post.
We had also went to Three Friends Park but there were hoodlums all up in our shit so we left.
Anyway, lots of driving and lingering around the east coast.
I remember telling him that I don't care to hang around most people
because I still feel like I'm alone. There are few people I've met that
make me feel like I'm actually with another person. Even if I'm in the
middle of a huge party, I still feel just as alone as I would being
literally alone. But I said it doesn't bother me. He said it's crazy how
content I am with myself. And I guess he's right.
And here is some random shit with no correlation to the rest of the entry.
Park
spider woman.
Guess she liked being upside-down too.
Probably higher than it looks.
More totally random.
Me & my cat bein badass.
&
I love my nappy-haired boy =]
Btw, in a completely unrelated topic. I saw an asian rasta at the mall yesterday. I believe the first of it's species. Nuts.
Oh, and I bought Guitar Hero 3 night before yesterday. I'm on the last boss dude on expert (yeah, there are bosses in this one). It's a lot harder than GH2. But I can still own. There are better graphics etc.
I had written a very long explanation of how I had been feeling, but I deleted it. For the same reason anyone ends up throwing away things that they write. They are either revealing too much or it doesn't apply anymore. This particular circumstance is a bit of both. I did, however, keep this:
Does anyone ever think about how illogical it is that we even exist? I keep thinking of Newton's law. An object at rest stays at rest unless an external force is applied. If this is true, would it not be true that everything is the result of an action? There is a constant chain of causes, leading up to this very moment in time. If the big bang is true, what was the cause of that action? And the cause and result, which in turn caused the action. If there is a God, how did He come to exist? According to that law, He was existing forever, or things were around forever, even the smallest units of anything. But everything must start somewhere, correct? It's common knowledge, that all things require a beginning. A cause for the very first cause in the chain reaction of mere existence. So which theory is false? I had a dream quite awhile ago. What one may define as an epic dream. The beginning of the end of all existence, universal. One star burned out and there was a wave of gray, of death, and it spread out like the effect of an atomic bomb. Other stars and planets burned out as it grew. As it slipped over the planets and all that existed within, there was death not only of the body but the soul. It was the end of everything, and when I had waken up I was a bit shaken by it. I listened to music and it had never sounded so good. Life itself seemed amplified. The sensory information we register is being compared to everything else in the world, but when it is compared to nothing, it is divine.
Ah, so much to say. But I guess I should just make separate posts instead of packing it all in one. Because no one really enjoys reading about what indifferent people think, right? Aaanyway. I've been chillin with Anthony, who I've lately been calling the Fonz due to certain mannerisms. I've posted about him before so you all should know some of our very long history as buddies. We went on some crazy adventures lately, trespassing into numerous places. Going through great lengths to do so. We consider ourselves something close to trespassing professionals. We will find our way in, despite security guards, alarms, barricades, and locked doors and windows. We particularly enjoy heights, as our pictures will prove. Come to think of it, maybe I shouldn't make this entry public. My good buddy just got out of a long term relationship and is looking for a lay. Anyone interested? I know, how obscenely blunt. But that is what most of the world has come to. Regardless, it is a serious question. My adorable and loving boyfriend may (and by may I mean most definitely), get jealous if I keep hanging out with him to try and get his mind off his depression, so... help would be greatly appreciated. If my adorable and loving boyfriend happens to be reading this, he should know that saying he may get jealous is not meant to be offensive, and that for me jealousy is a turn on. Something he should take advantage of as much as possible ;).
The first time we hung out near the beach it was Halloween and the wind
from the tropical storm was going crazy. We found an extremely tall
building under construction, and made it our mission to get on the roof.
We found an opening at the side of the building and went up 4 flights of
stairs and ended up at the back future pool area for the apartments. We
then somehow found a sliding glass door that wasn't barricaded (the
only) and started walking around in someone's future apt. We came upon
the elevator and he said the stairs must be close by. We found a door
with a light on behind it that said "keep doors closed at all times,"
and upon opening it he convinced me we wouldn't get caught. We found
another door soon after with the same print and opened it assuming by
gut instinct it was the staircase, and it was. So we crept as silently
as possible up about 20 flights of stairs among the sounds of drilling.
We entered an apt 3 floors below the top of the building because we
could hear someone higher up. That's where we found the amazing view in
the picture below.
Unfortunately I didn't have my real camera and used the shitty one on my phone.
The wind was howling crazzily up there so it fit the Halloween mood perfectly.
We returned the other night to find they had went through great lengths to
keep us out and security was roaming around so we decided to find
another tall building.
To make this story shorter, we found a hotel half the size at most. I
shimmied under the tiny space under the door on the staircase and let
him in. We then found the highest floor, and another hidden staircase,
and got into the attic. This was maybe 12 stories up, the highest we
could go, and they had windows. So, here is what we saw:
When we got tired of looking out windows we found that we could get from
the front of the hotel at the top floor to someone's back patio. The
door was locked so Anthony had to actually stand on the outside ledge to
get around to it. I just remember repeating, please don't die. I jumped
up on the ledge to do it myself and he opened the door for me and I felt
like a dumbass for forgetting that there was a door. I don't think
anyone is going to be able to picture what was going on.
Of course he wanted me to take pics of him for, surprise, myspace. So I
found some areas:
Just being stupid.
Why am I doing this?
&whatever
Then he wanted me to take pics of his new car, so he took me to an area that would make a decent background:
That's the only I'll post.
We had also went to Three Friends Park but there were hoodlums all up in our shit so we left.
Anyway, lots of driving and lingering around the east coast.
I remember telling him that I don't care to hang around most people
because I still feel like I'm alone. There are few people I've met that
make me feel like I'm actually with another person. Even if I'm in the
middle of a huge party, I still feel just as alone as I would being
literally alone. But I said it doesn't bother me. He said it's crazy how
content I am with myself. And I guess he's right.
And here is some random shit with no correlation to the rest of the entry.
Park
spider woman.
Guess she liked being upside-down too.
Probably higher than it looks.
More totally random.
Me & my cat bein badass.
&
I love my nappy-haired boy =]
Btw, in a completely unrelated topic. I saw an asian rasta at the mall yesterday. I believe the first of it's species. Nuts.
Oh, and I bought Guitar Hero 3 night before yesterday. I'm on the last boss dude on expert (yeah, there are bosses in this one). It's a lot harder than GH2. But I can still own. There are better graphics etc.