The One Man Show
This journal has not been required to be made. I am writing out of my own freewill. I believe recording your thoughts is important otherwise, growing and developing might as well be just a natural process.
My life has been going at a pace in which I am not capable of keeping up with. It is overwhelming. I have this whole school thing again this year. It is not really my domain. I think its unfair for everyone to be judged by the same standards. Problems again this year....feeling a bit out of place. And its not the out of place that makes you feel special...its the out of place that makes you wanna crawl into your bed and never come out.
I have this class...Computer Animation III. It feels like my own little personal corner of hell that satan has made for me...I hate satan. The part of this that makes me feel obsolete is that I have been trying to drop the cursed class since last year. I do not like it. The teacher and I are not compatable. I try to make her think I enjoy myself in her class, but I have had enough of being an emotionless little puppet that the teacher can take her problems out on. And my transportation home is another comodity from hell. The whole affair makes me very gloomy.
I should not feel this miserable...
Its just a bunch of little things too, things that dont seem so bad when you look at them one by one...but when you think of them all at the same time...its enough to kill you.
I am trying to make believe that life is still beautiful, that things are gonna get better....
I am trying to assure myself that what I see in myself isnt really there...that the wreck of a soul I have living inside me, isnt really there at all...
I try to remain optimistic and hope the shit wont hit the fan anytime soon. But its tuff...I feel like the guy in the "High and Dry" video who is sitting on the toilet clutching his briefcase....
Now enough of my complaining...go look at some porn.
My life has been going at a pace in which I am not capable of keeping up with. It is overwhelming. I have this whole school thing again this year. It is not really my domain. I think its unfair for everyone to be judged by the same standards. Problems again this year....feeling a bit out of place. And its not the out of place that makes you feel special...its the out of place that makes you wanna crawl into your bed and never come out.
I have this class...Computer Animation III. It feels like my own little personal corner of hell that satan has made for me...I hate satan. The part of this that makes me feel obsolete is that I have been trying to drop the cursed class since last year. I do not like it. The teacher and I are not compatable. I try to make her think I enjoy myself in her class, but I have had enough of being an emotionless little puppet that the teacher can take her problems out on. And my transportation home is another comodity from hell. The whole affair makes me very gloomy.
I should not feel this miserable...
Its just a bunch of little things too, things that dont seem so bad when you look at them one by one...but when you think of them all at the same time...its enough to kill you.
I am trying to make believe that life is still beautiful, that things are gonna get better....
I am trying to assure myself that what I see in myself isnt really there...that the wreck of a soul I have living inside me, isnt really there at all...
I try to remain optimistic and hope the shit wont hit the fan anytime soon. But its tuff...I feel like the guy in the "High and Dry" video who is sitting on the toilet clutching his briefcase....
Now enough of my complaining...go look at some porn.