My life :( AGAIN
My god I made such a pissed idiot of myself on new years eve! It was going sort of ok until I carried on and on drinking the punch that my boyfriend and his friend had made thus getting totally plastered in the process (well, the silly buggers DID tell me it was low alcohol). Anyway, to cut a long story short, my boyfriend has slept with his mates sister in the past (hush, hush tho... its supposed to be a secret), and to be totally honest, I ws horrified when I saw her. I KNOW that looks are not important, but she was just such a total mess... brown teeth from not cleaning them, hair like a scarecrow, wayyyy too skinny and just totally unattractive, wearing a scruffy blue tracksuit, and the more drunk I got, the more horrified about her appearance I became (don't get me wrong, I never said I was stunning, but at least I make an effort to get myself looking the best that I can, theres no excuse for looking that terrible). To make things worse, she sat there smoking joint after joint infront of everyone YUK!
I did make an effort to be nice to her AND my fella's friend, but they were just such awful people, so I left before midnight, and my fella took me home.. so we spent the actual new year at some service station in the middle of god knows where :( I was pretty nasty to him too, I told him that he was some sort of pervert for taking her to bed and he may aswell have gone to bed with an animal she looked that disgusting :(
I am NOT proud of my behaviour, I was just heartbroken that he could stoop so low, I mean, if he will have sex with her, he will have sex with anything won't he?? So I must be just as ugly. A guy who will sleep with anything is not what I am after.. he even told me himself how ugly she was before I met her. I think I would have been less angry if she had been pretty because it would prove that he had some morals and wouldn't just sleep with any tart who opened her legs... surely if he will sleep with someone like her, there is more chance that he will cheat on me? I feel disgusting that I ever touched him right now as it obviousely didn't mean to him what it meant to me :(
I HATE THAT PEOPLE HAVE A PAST, ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!!!! WHY CAN'T MEN HAVE SOME DIGNITY AND NOT SLEEP AROUND WITH WOMEN BELOW THEIR LEAGUE????? I AM SO DISGUSTED AND DOWN.
Please no one bash me for writing this, surely these journals are for writing down how we feel at the time.... I will probably be ovr this soon, but I doubt I will ever get over the fact that my boyfriend is one of those guys that has low standards when looking for a shag :( Makes me feel so ugly :(
I did make an effort to be nice to her AND my fella's friend, but they were just such awful people, so I left before midnight, and my fella took me home.. so we spent the actual new year at some service station in the middle of god knows where :( I was pretty nasty to him too, I told him that he was some sort of pervert for taking her to bed and he may aswell have gone to bed with an animal she looked that disgusting :(
I am NOT proud of my behaviour, I was just heartbroken that he could stoop so low, I mean, if he will have sex with her, he will have sex with anything won't he?? So I must be just as ugly. A guy who will sleep with anything is not what I am after.. he even told me himself how ugly she was before I met her. I think I would have been less angry if she had been pretty because it would prove that he had some morals and wouldn't just sleep with any tart who opened her legs... surely if he will sleep with someone like her, there is more chance that he will cheat on me? I feel disgusting that I ever touched him right now as it obviousely didn't mean to him what it meant to me :(
I HATE THAT PEOPLE HAVE A PAST, ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!!!! WHY CAN'T MEN HAVE SOME DIGNITY AND NOT SLEEP AROUND WITH WOMEN BELOW THEIR LEAGUE????? I AM SO DISGUSTED AND DOWN.
Please no one bash me for writing this, surely these journals are for writing down how we feel at the time.... I will probably be ovr this soon, but I doubt I will ever get over the fact that my boyfriend is one of those guys that has low standards when looking for a shag :( Makes me feel so ugly :(