(no subject)

Jul 16, 2005 20:22

It's not that he just betrayed my mom. He betrayed me too. He was the first man that I ever really trusted. Then I trusted Gabe and he hurt me. So there goes my trust for Gabe. The only trust I had left for men was carefully placed in Ray. And now it's like.....I don't know. It was cut down and wounded. I feel as if no man is to be trusted. Like they are all scum, no matter how good and right they seem. It's like they all have a secret side that comes back to bite me and my mother in our asses.

I love Ray, don't get me wrong. I'm not mad, persay. Just hurt. Really fucking hurt. He has to start back at base one with both of us. And I hate it. I really hate that he did this and that this is all happening to us.

He is the first dad I've ever had...what if they divorce?

I'm so scared right now....I just want to be held.
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