(no subject)
I don't know what's wrong with me today. Nik wants me to come to his bbq, and it's not like I'm not. I am going. But....I don't know. I want to curl up into a little ball and sleep. Or cry.
I'm not sure which one I want more. To sleep or to cry.
And I'm not sure why I want to do either of them.
Hello teenage depression. I hate you.
I miss him. Today, I really miss him. I miss his arms, and the moments we shared, the words he said. "I love you." Did he though? Yes, he did. But....I don't think he was ever in love with me. If you have ever been in love, you know the difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I....I think I can accept the fact that he was never in love with me. I know he loved me. That's enough. He still loves me. He was in love with me at one point. But....Liz is still his number one.
I cannot compete with a lost hope, a lost love. I won't. But more importantly, I shouldn't have to. So fuck that, I'm not going to.
He and I are over. I'm not saying that there is not a chance for in the future. I am saying that for now, until he knows what the hell he wants, or at least who, I'm done. It's over and I WILL NOT take him back.
I hate the fact that I'm crying right now.
Why do saying these things hurt me?
I'm not sure which one I want more. To sleep or to cry.
And I'm not sure why I want to do either of them.
Hello teenage depression. I hate you.
I miss him. Today, I really miss him. I miss his arms, and the moments we shared, the words he said. "I love you." Did he though? Yes, he did. But....I don't think he was ever in love with me. If you have ever been in love, you know the difference between loving someone and being in love with them. I....I think I can accept the fact that he was never in love with me. I know he loved me. That's enough. He still loves me. He was in love with me at one point. But....Liz is still his number one.
I cannot compete with a lost hope, a lost love. I won't. But more importantly, I shouldn't have to. So fuck that, I'm not going to.
He and I are over. I'm not saying that there is not a chance for in the future. I am saying that for now, until he knows what the hell he wants, or at least who, I'm done. It's over and I WILL NOT take him back.
I hate the fact that I'm crying right now.
Why do saying these things hurt me?