omg, I'm still alive
1) I miss everybody right now.
2) To one person who's been in my thoughts alot:
It sucks how there are some people that you really care about but some stupid shit happens and you lose them. So easily. How could this have happened? Why were you so willing to drop me so fast? You deleted me from myspace, facebook, and whatever else. Am I sorry? fuck no. I said what had to be said. What everyone else was thinking/saying as well, I just said it clearer. I'm sorry you refuse to listen to a realistic possibility. And to throw away our entire friendship over that? Over a stupid fight? I guess my friendship never meant much to you. The feeling was not mutual. Oh well, gotta cut my losses I guess. I've heard (and seen) you do the same to others. I should've known better after ATL pride. Should've learned from seeing 2 other people get run over by you. My bad. Still sorry I 'lost you'. But if you're gonna act like this? Fuck that.
And you can go ahead and leave whenever I'm present at the same location as you. 2 words: I win.
3) In other, completely unrelated news:
I'm so bad at keeping in touch with people. I suck. I'm sorry everyone. I love you, you know that right?
Work makes me so tired. I was there from 7am til 5:30pm today with one break. I was alone in my dept. AGAIN. The woman who works in tool world is injured (wrist sprain) and because of this injury she 'can't climb ladders'. I had to do her department's yellow dots as well as mine (yellow dots are a list of things that are missing from the shelf, but that we supposedly still have on hand. So we have to go find them and put them back). I had 3 pages in hardware and 2 in toolworld (not to mention customers, phone calls, freight in the morning, lifting heavy shit, etc..). It took all freakin day to finish the stupid yellow dots. I think I covered the entire store walking about 50 times over. Oh god my feet hurt. And I would've been fine but I found this list yesterday of things my dept manager wants done by tomorrow morning. Most of them have not gotten done. One guy I work with avoids putting up stock like the plague. The other one didn't even bother to show up tonight, when I was hoping we could tie things up. It's like we have so much to do and so much stock to put up and not enough people working, we're fighting a losing battle. And as hard as we worked today (Toolworld girl and me) I just know there'll be 3 more buggies full of stuff again tomorrow, sitting there, making it look like we did nothing. And the dept manager will be pissed. I feel like it will fall on me. I hate that. It makes me sooo stressed. Terry used to tell me not to worry about it. I loved working with Terry! He was energizing but relaxing all in one! We really got stuff done! My dept manager is just frustrating. He always has the same look on his face and he's so hard to read. He makes me feel like he thinks I'm a slacker and I don't do enough. Which makes me try to work harder. But I still feel like he thinks I'm a slacker. I'm so tired. It's so hard to be in a good mood at work anymore when I've been working myself to exhaustion every fricken day. It would be different if he would (or someone would) just tell me I'm doing a good job, just once. That would be very encouraging. Oh, and I got the three guys in hardware these M&M filled candy canes and xmas cards for xmas/yule/channakah/the holidays/whatever. Well manager guy never took his home. In fact, they are still sitting there. I happened to be going after a different job in another dept at the time and he asked, rather offhandedly, if I was trying to 'buy him' for a good review. What kind of bullshit is that? It was just a nice gesture. Jeez. I don't know if he was kidding or not tho, but the friggen M&M's are still sitting there. WTF.
Really I just need a better job. I need to work smarter not harder, right?
2) To one person who's been in my thoughts alot:
It sucks how there are some people that you really care about but some stupid shit happens and you lose them. So easily. How could this have happened? Why were you so willing to drop me so fast? You deleted me from myspace, facebook, and whatever else. Am I sorry? fuck no. I said what had to be said. What everyone else was thinking/saying as well, I just said it clearer. I'm sorry you refuse to listen to a realistic possibility. And to throw away our entire friendship over that? Over a stupid fight? I guess my friendship never meant much to you. The feeling was not mutual. Oh well, gotta cut my losses I guess. I've heard (and seen) you do the same to others. I should've known better after ATL pride. Should've learned from seeing 2 other people get run over by you. My bad. Still sorry I 'lost you'. But if you're gonna act like this? Fuck that.
And you can go ahead and leave whenever I'm present at the same location as you. 2 words: I win.
3) In other, completely unrelated news:
I'm so bad at keeping in touch with people. I suck. I'm sorry everyone. I love you, you know that right?
Work makes me so tired. I was there from 7am til 5:30pm today with one break. I was alone in my dept. AGAIN. The woman who works in tool world is injured (wrist sprain) and because of this injury she 'can't climb ladders'. I had to do her department's yellow dots as well as mine (yellow dots are a list of things that are missing from the shelf, but that we supposedly still have on hand. So we have to go find them and put them back). I had 3 pages in hardware and 2 in toolworld (not to mention customers, phone calls, freight in the morning, lifting heavy shit, etc..). It took all freakin day to finish the stupid yellow dots. I think I covered the entire store walking about 50 times over. Oh god my feet hurt. And I would've been fine but I found this list yesterday of things my dept manager wants done by tomorrow morning. Most of them have not gotten done. One guy I work with avoids putting up stock like the plague. The other one didn't even bother to show up tonight, when I was hoping we could tie things up. It's like we have so much to do and so much stock to put up and not enough people working, we're fighting a losing battle. And as hard as we worked today (Toolworld girl and me) I just know there'll be 3 more buggies full of stuff again tomorrow, sitting there, making it look like we did nothing. And the dept manager will be pissed. I feel like it will fall on me. I hate that. It makes me sooo stressed. Terry used to tell me not to worry about it. I loved working with Terry! He was energizing but relaxing all in one! We really got stuff done! My dept manager is just frustrating. He always has the same look on his face and he's so hard to read. He makes me feel like he thinks I'm a slacker and I don't do enough. Which makes me try to work harder. But I still feel like he thinks I'm a slacker. I'm so tired. It's so hard to be in a good mood at work anymore when I've been working myself to exhaustion every fricken day. It would be different if he would (or someone would) just tell me I'm doing a good job, just once. That would be very encouraging. Oh, and I got the three guys in hardware these M&M filled candy canes and xmas cards for xmas/yule/channakah/the holidays/whatever. Well manager guy never took his home. In fact, they are still sitting there. I happened to be going after a different job in another dept at the time and he asked, rather offhandedly, if I was trying to 'buy him' for a good review. What kind of bullshit is that? It was just a nice gesture. Jeez. I don't know if he was kidding or not tho, but the friggen M&M's are still sitting there. WTF.
Really I just need a better job. I need to work smarter not harder, right?