Chew On This SUCKA!
Sometimes I read things that make me laugh or chuckle. Other times I get naked and sing “Que Sera Sera” in the shower. However, there are those rare times when I feel like spinning in my chair until I reach an alternate reality. Currently I am a little dizzy but sadly still very much a part of this reality. Apparently someone obtained a piece of USED gum discarded by Britney Spears and decided to sell it on ebay. I went to ebay and actually found a bunch of people trying to sell used gum from Miss Spears (I guess it’s Mrs. now). Originally the seller wrote that “You can own a piece of Britney’s DNA”. After much hoopla it was changed to “a chance to own some REAL pop memorabilia”. Sadly the auction is over and the gum was sold for a respectable $904.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2334&item=4033553533&rd=1
This got me wondering if anyone would ever feel the urge to buy a piece of used “Johnny” gum. I don’t have any cavities so my chew marks would be all natural. Sure my teeth aren’t as buxom and robust as they once were but I don’t feel the need to get implants and go “Hollywood”. Thinking about Hollywood made me muse (the verb not the group) about fake smiles and fake ambitions. This naturally got me wondering about which celebrities I could out sell on the used gum market.
Personally I think I could outsell Pauly Shore. I also believe I would sell more pre-chewed gum then Carrot Top. I will admit that Carrot Top and Pauly Shore have rugged good looks and are generally accepted as sexual icons. Sadly, I am not a sexual icon. Was that a collective gasp or my ego deflating? Hmmmmmmmm peculiar sound that was! Perhaps if I wore more crushed velvet and winked a lot I would be considered as sexy as Mr. Shore. I know I could beat Carrot Top assuming I get my own AT&T commercial. Oh well, when I was just a little girl I asked my mother what would I be. Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? To find out what she said join me in the shower
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=2334&item=4033553533&rd=1
This got me wondering if anyone would ever feel the urge to buy a piece of used “Johnny” gum. I don’t have any cavities so my chew marks would be all natural. Sure my teeth aren’t as buxom and robust as they once were but I don’t feel the need to get implants and go “Hollywood”. Thinking about Hollywood made me muse (the verb not the group) about fake smiles and fake ambitions. This naturally got me wondering about which celebrities I could out sell on the used gum market.
Personally I think I could outsell Pauly Shore. I also believe I would sell more pre-chewed gum then Carrot Top. I will admit that Carrot Top and Pauly Shore have rugged good looks and are generally accepted as sexual icons. Sadly, I am not a sexual icon. Was that a collective gasp or my ego deflating? Hmmmmmmmm peculiar sound that was! Perhaps if I wore more crushed velvet and winked a lot I would be considered as sexy as Mr. Shore. I know I could beat Carrot Top assuming I get my own AT&T commercial. Oh well, when I was just a little girl I asked my mother what would I be. Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? To find out what she said join me in the shower