Fic: Silver Bullet, Peter/Claire, PG-13, Season Three Premiere Spoilers, unloveyou prompt #24
Hello my babies! I haven't updated in..oh.. like five weeks or so but..I have fic! The universe kinda completely and totally fucked me over today (I'll never understand how people can be so so shitty) so I've decided to solve that problem by hiding in my room and resorting to fandom until I stop hating the world. I hope you guys enjoy, this one is kinda new for me.
Fic: Silver Bullet (title stolen from a Hawthorne Heights song)
Pairing: Peter/Claire
Rating: pg-13
Spoilers: Season three premiere
Warnings: angst? slight incest
Word Count: 1433
Author's Note: Also written for un_love_you , prompt #24, I want you to hate me
"Got a single Silver Bullet,
I shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive,
Without you.
Got a single Silver Bullet,
I shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive without you."
She can tell with every imploring glance he throws her way that he's still there, still Peter, still trying to find a way to save a girl that doesn't exist.
Every week it's something new; the day Sylar stole her powers, the day Nathan became just another casualty in the war, the day saving the world became more important than saving her. An endless litany of solutions to a problem he just can't understand and the determination she sees every time he returns and looks at her is the only thing that really amazes her anymore.
She wants to tell him what she's always known and he can't understand; he can change the steps until the end of time, the result will always be the same. After all their attempts at playing God and changing destinies so so much bigger than them this is nothing more or less than what they deserve. This is their creation, the world they shaped and molded and shattered with their never-ending supply of arrogance.
God hasn't had a hand in any of this for a while and she can't help but wonder if that knowledge would finally be enough to let Peter rest. Allow him to stop asking questions and seeking answers and finally just take a moment to be broken and shattered and lost.
A moment to just stand and be with her, after all this time.
It's more familiar to her than anything else by this point but for some reason the gun feels cold and heavy and hard in her hand and for today at least, she isn't ready to be the one that breaks him.
Sylar is an easy out and one they all like to use far too often but deep down she's always known the truth.
The numbness he graced her with the day he stole her powers did nothing more than allow her body to finally catch up to the girl inside and he's no more to blame for any of this than they are. The blame could be laid on a thousand different people in a thousand different ways, but in the end they all got caught up in the rush and their destinies and the glory of being special just the same.
The hows and whys stopped mattering a hundred decisions ago and the only thing she blames him for anymore is saving the cheerleader in the first place. That was the beginning, the first line they blurred without any thought to the consequences, the thread that unraveled all the others and brought them to this point.
Every decision he tries to undo, every loved one he pulls the trigger on he does for her, and if she were a little less selfish she'd find a way to end this for him. Find a way to pull the trigger and make him hate her, to finally take away the only reason he has left.
He's always been her answer, and as she lowers the gun and walks away she can't figure out when he stopped thinking of her as the same.
He does all of this for her, and it's his inability to stay that she hates him for.
When she takes the time to stop and think about it, she figures she probably went wrong when she started thinking about her power more in terms of her inability to feel than her ability to heal.
The constant struggle with right and wrong (dirty dirty dirty) and the never-ending debate over where it all went wrong that she watches him battle with on a daily basis faded into a quiet gray in the back of her mind a long time ago and she's grateful for that fact every time she pulls the trigger.
She'll never see heaven and she's living in hell and she's almost disturbed by how easy it is for her to understand why Adam was so ready to watch it all burn. People are shitty and cold and broken and she refuses to waste one more minute of her life fighting to save a world that probably doesn't deserve to be saved.
She'll pull the trigger and take the shot and do what it takes to make things right but she's through living by someone else's naive view of right and wrong. She didn't choose any of this and everything that's happened to her happened before she had a chance to blink or breathe or make sense of any of this but now that she's here, someone has to be willing to step-up and do what needs to be done.
It's her gift to him, really, this path that she's chosen. Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing to set things right, that's the one part of the Petrelli lifestyle Peter never could understand.
Today at least, she isn't ready to be the one that breaks him.
Sometimes, when he looks at her in that way that he has, she wants to believe he can change it all.
That's the one secret she'll carry with her for as long as they're forced into this joke of an existence, the last piece of the puzzle she refuses to burden him with. Everything he does he does for her but if she can do it, if she can pull the trigger and take that softness out of his eyes, maybe she can finally bring him peace.
She has no interest in living forever if she isn't living with him and if anyone has a chance of stopping her, he's the only one that'll ever get close enough to try. Her beginning and her end, all wrapped up in one beautifully broken package.
He'll never stop. He'll keep trying to set things right for her, for them, until he finally finds that elusive secret she's been yearning for for years and leaves her here all alone and that's not a chance she's willing to take.
It'll take more than steel and lead and a shaky hand to really stop him but her finger on the trigger is all it'll take to break the part of him that torments him. To put to rest something that shouldn't have existed in the first place and to obliterate the part of her that remembers what it is to feel.
It all begins and ends with Peter and after everything she still wouldn't have it any other way. Without him she hasn't truly felt anything in years and the feeling that suddenly has a strangled hold around her chest is almost enough to make her think she's finally found a way out of all of this.
Her hand is shaking and her heart is racing and even in this moment, the only thing she can really focus on is the hope that he'll somehow find a way to fix this. But hope belongs in the past with teddy bears and pigtails and she owes him so much more than the hell he endures for her.
She wants to sob and break and shatter into a million pieces under the weight of all they've been through but she isn't that girl, she's indestructible and strong and she gave up playing the victim card too long ago to resort back to that role now.
He's spent his entire life fighting to save something that was never meant to be saved and for once she's going to love him enough to end this for him. She can't think and she can't breathe but it's the only way and her hand is finally, finally still.
She pulls the trigger with the same certainty she used to have every time she grabbed his hand with her own and she loves him too much to look away as she does it. The look on his face will stay with her for the rest of her life and she wishes she could hear something other than “you're totally my hero” running through her mind.
He's gone in an instant but she can still feel and smell him all around her, feel the same undeniable connection that's burned in her chest since the first day they met flare up inside of her now.
She can't go back and they can't move forward and as her knees hit the ground a sob escapes her throat for the first time in years.
He needs to hate her. It's the only way to bring him peace and all of this is only worthwhile if he finally gets to rest.
It was the only way.
She has to believe that.
Fic: Silver Bullet (title stolen from a Hawthorne Heights song)
Pairing: Peter/Claire
Rating: pg-13
Spoilers: Season three premiere
Warnings: angst? slight incest
Word Count: 1433
Author's Note: Also written for un_love_you , prompt #24, I want you to hate me
"Got a single Silver Bullet,
I shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive,
Without you.
Got a single Silver Bullet,
I shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive without you."
She can tell with every imploring glance he throws her way that he's still there, still Peter, still trying to find a way to save a girl that doesn't exist.
Every week it's something new; the day Sylar stole her powers, the day Nathan became just another casualty in the war, the day saving the world became more important than saving her. An endless litany of solutions to a problem he just can't understand and the determination she sees every time he returns and looks at her is the only thing that really amazes her anymore.
She wants to tell him what she's always known and he can't understand; he can change the steps until the end of time, the result will always be the same. After all their attempts at playing God and changing destinies so so much bigger than them this is nothing more or less than what they deserve. This is their creation, the world they shaped and molded and shattered with their never-ending supply of arrogance.
God hasn't had a hand in any of this for a while and she can't help but wonder if that knowledge would finally be enough to let Peter rest. Allow him to stop asking questions and seeking answers and finally just take a moment to be broken and shattered and lost.
A moment to just stand and be with her, after all this time.
It's more familiar to her than anything else by this point but for some reason the gun feels cold and heavy and hard in her hand and for today at least, she isn't ready to be the one that breaks him.
Sylar is an easy out and one they all like to use far too often but deep down she's always known the truth.
The numbness he graced her with the day he stole her powers did nothing more than allow her body to finally catch up to the girl inside and he's no more to blame for any of this than they are. The blame could be laid on a thousand different people in a thousand different ways, but in the end they all got caught up in the rush and their destinies and the glory of being special just the same.
The hows and whys stopped mattering a hundred decisions ago and the only thing she blames him for anymore is saving the cheerleader in the first place. That was the beginning, the first line they blurred without any thought to the consequences, the thread that unraveled all the others and brought them to this point.
Every decision he tries to undo, every loved one he pulls the trigger on he does for her, and if she were a little less selfish she'd find a way to end this for him. Find a way to pull the trigger and make him hate her, to finally take away the only reason he has left.
He's always been her answer, and as she lowers the gun and walks away she can't figure out when he stopped thinking of her as the same.
He does all of this for her, and it's his inability to stay that she hates him for.
When she takes the time to stop and think about it, she figures she probably went wrong when she started thinking about her power more in terms of her inability to feel than her ability to heal.
The constant struggle with right and wrong (dirty dirty dirty) and the never-ending debate over where it all went wrong that she watches him battle with on a daily basis faded into a quiet gray in the back of her mind a long time ago and she's grateful for that fact every time she pulls the trigger.
She'll never see heaven and she's living in hell and she's almost disturbed by how easy it is for her to understand why Adam was so ready to watch it all burn. People are shitty and cold and broken and she refuses to waste one more minute of her life fighting to save a world that probably doesn't deserve to be saved.
She'll pull the trigger and take the shot and do what it takes to make things right but she's through living by someone else's naive view of right and wrong. She didn't choose any of this and everything that's happened to her happened before she had a chance to blink or breathe or make sense of any of this but now that she's here, someone has to be willing to step-up and do what needs to be done.
It's her gift to him, really, this path that she's chosen. Sometimes you have to do the wrong thing to set things right, that's the one part of the Petrelli lifestyle Peter never could understand.
Today at least, she isn't ready to be the one that breaks him.
Sometimes, when he looks at her in that way that he has, she wants to believe he can change it all.
That's the one secret she'll carry with her for as long as they're forced into this joke of an existence, the last piece of the puzzle she refuses to burden him with. Everything he does he does for her but if she can do it, if she can pull the trigger and take that softness out of his eyes, maybe she can finally bring him peace.
She has no interest in living forever if she isn't living with him and if anyone has a chance of stopping her, he's the only one that'll ever get close enough to try. Her beginning and her end, all wrapped up in one beautifully broken package.
He'll never stop. He'll keep trying to set things right for her, for them, until he finally finds that elusive secret she's been yearning for for years and leaves her here all alone and that's not a chance she's willing to take.
It'll take more than steel and lead and a shaky hand to really stop him but her finger on the trigger is all it'll take to break the part of him that torments him. To put to rest something that shouldn't have existed in the first place and to obliterate the part of her that remembers what it is to feel.
It all begins and ends with Peter and after everything she still wouldn't have it any other way. Without him she hasn't truly felt anything in years and the feeling that suddenly has a strangled hold around her chest is almost enough to make her think she's finally found a way out of all of this.
Her hand is shaking and her heart is racing and even in this moment, the only thing she can really focus on is the hope that he'll somehow find a way to fix this. But hope belongs in the past with teddy bears and pigtails and she owes him so much more than the hell he endures for her.
She wants to sob and break and shatter into a million pieces under the weight of all they've been through but she isn't that girl, she's indestructible and strong and she gave up playing the victim card too long ago to resort back to that role now.
He's spent his entire life fighting to save something that was never meant to be saved and for once she's going to love him enough to end this for him. She can't think and she can't breathe but it's the only way and her hand is finally, finally still.
She pulls the trigger with the same certainty she used to have every time she grabbed his hand with her own and she loves him too much to look away as she does it. The look on his face will stay with her for the rest of her life and she wishes she could hear something other than “you're totally my hero” running through her mind.
He's gone in an instant but she can still feel and smell him all around her, feel the same undeniable connection that's burned in her chest since the first day they met flare up inside of her now.
She can't go back and they can't move forward and as her knees hit the ground a sob escapes her throat for the first time in years.
He needs to hate her. It's the only way to bring him peace and all of this is only worthwhile if he finally gets to rest.
It was the only way.
She has to believe that.