Ficlet: Let's Talk About Sex
Title: Let's Talk About Sex
Characters: Kira Hummel, Noah Puckerman, Kurt Hummel (with mention of Blaine and Santana)
Pairing: None
Verse: Honorary Member
Word Count: 554
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mention of teenage sexcapades...but nothing really past the fact teenagers do it. Shocking though that may be.
Summary: Puck is a teenage boy. Kira is a relatively cute teenage girl. He also thinks she's bendy. You do the math.
Notes: After exploring the relationships side of the episode and the "Push It" performance, the only other place to go was the sex aspect. And well...the idea of Puck propositioning her amuses me to no end.
"Hummel…" Leaning against the locker beside hers -- a locker that just happened to belong to Blaine -- Puck fixed Kira with what she was sure he thought was a charming smile. "I realized smoothi…wait. You like guys, right?"
Huh? Why was he even…this was already shaping up to be one of the weirdest conversation she had ever had. And considering who her brothers were, that was saying a lot. "Yeah…"
"Okay. Just checking. Considering…anyway…I realized something."
No. Seriously. The hell was going on here. Why was he talking to her? "Oh?"
"You and me…we've never…you know." And yes, Puck was making little that little thrusting motions guys do when they think they're being cute or clever but really, in the end, they just look stupid.
And even though he was making that stupid motion, it still took her a minute to realize exactly what he was saying. "Are you saying we should have sex?"
Yes. Yes he was. After all, he was a teenage boy and she was a relatively cute teenage girl. Not to mention he'd seen her moves on the soccer field once or twice -- girl was bendy. Not Santana levels of bendy, but then…who was? "Yeah. Whaddya say?"
"No."
"What?" No? Who said no to him? He was Noah Puckerman. Puckzilla. His sexcapades were legendary in these halls.
"No. You throw my brothers into dumpsters, what about that makes you think I would…No. Sorry. Not happening."
"Seriously? All because I chucked some little homo in the trashbin. Okay. Yes. He's your brother. I get that. But still…do you realize what you're giving up here? The opportunity I'm presenting you with? Who just turns that down? You know...I'm beginning to think that maybe you don't like guys after all."
Or maybe, Puck. She just didn't like you. Was he attractive? Yes. Of course. Kira wasn't blind. And she'd be lying if she said the fact he found her worthy of…well…propositioning wasn't a tad bit exciting. But the way he treated people? And what he had just said? Unacceptable. Completely unacceptable. She couldn't just ignore that. She wouldn't…
Not to mention she wasn't exactly a casual sex kind of girl. "Really? A girl turns you down and you immediately think she bats for the other team? Classy."
No. He didn't exactly believe that. Sure, it was possible. But from what he'd seen, Kira wasn't exactly the butch type. So he was pretty sure she wasn't on board the birkenstocks and Annie Lennox train. But eventually she'd realize just what she missed out on. And he was about to tell her so…when he caught sight of Santana out of the corner of his eye. No use wasting any more time here when there was a sure thing just over there. "Whatever." And with that, he was gone…off to convince Santana to skip next period and join him under the bleachers.
Rolling her eyes, Kira opened her locker and grabbed the book she needed -- still trying to figure out if that whole conversation just happened. Did Noah Puckerman really just…weird…and slightly flattering. But mostly weird.
Slamming her locker shut, she turned, preparing to go off to French when she found herself face to face with….
"Kurt!"
Characters: Kira Hummel, Noah Puckerman, Kurt Hummel (with mention of Blaine and Santana)
Pairing: None
Verse: Honorary Member
Word Count: 554
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mention of teenage sexcapades...but nothing really past the fact teenagers do it. Shocking though that may be.
Summary: Puck is a teenage boy. Kira is a relatively cute teenage girl. He also thinks she's bendy. You do the math.
Notes: After exploring the relationships side of the episode and the "Push It" performance, the only other place to go was the sex aspect. And well...the idea of Puck propositioning her amuses me to no end.
"Hummel…" Leaning against the locker beside hers -- a locker that just happened to belong to Blaine -- Puck fixed Kira with what she was sure he thought was a charming smile. "I realized smoothi…wait. You like guys, right?"
Huh? Why was he even…this was already shaping up to be one of the weirdest conversation she had ever had. And considering who her brothers were, that was saying a lot. "Yeah…"
"Okay. Just checking. Considering…anyway…I realized something."
No. Seriously. The hell was going on here. Why was he talking to her? "Oh?"
"You and me…we've never…you know." And yes, Puck was making little that little thrusting motions guys do when they think they're being cute or clever but really, in the end, they just look stupid.
And even though he was making that stupid motion, it still took her a minute to realize exactly what he was saying. "Are you saying we should have sex?"
Yes. Yes he was. After all, he was a teenage boy and she was a relatively cute teenage girl. Not to mention he'd seen her moves on the soccer field once or twice -- girl was bendy. Not Santana levels of bendy, but then…who was? "Yeah. Whaddya say?"
"No."
"What?" No? Who said no to him? He was Noah Puckerman. Puckzilla. His sexcapades were legendary in these halls.
"No. You throw my brothers into dumpsters, what about that makes you think I would…No. Sorry. Not happening."
"Seriously? All because I chucked some little homo in the trashbin. Okay. Yes. He's your brother. I get that. But still…do you realize what you're giving up here? The opportunity I'm presenting you with? Who just turns that down? You know...I'm beginning to think that maybe you don't like guys after all."
Or maybe, Puck. She just didn't like you. Was he attractive? Yes. Of course. Kira wasn't blind. And she'd be lying if she said the fact he found her worthy of…well…propositioning wasn't a tad bit exciting. But the way he treated people? And what he had just said? Unacceptable. Completely unacceptable. She couldn't just ignore that. She wouldn't…
Not to mention she wasn't exactly a casual sex kind of girl. "Really? A girl turns you down and you immediately think she bats for the other team? Classy."
No. He didn't exactly believe that. Sure, it was possible. But from what he'd seen, Kira wasn't exactly the butch type. So he was pretty sure she wasn't on board the birkenstocks and Annie Lennox train. But eventually she'd realize just what she missed out on. And he was about to tell her so…when he caught sight of Santana out of the corner of his eye. No use wasting any more time here when there was a sure thing just over there. "Whatever." And with that, he was gone…off to convince Santana to skip next period and join him under the bleachers.
Rolling her eyes, Kira opened her locker and grabbed the book she needed -- still trying to figure out if that whole conversation just happened. Did Noah Puckerman really just…weird…and slightly flattering. But mostly weird.
Slamming her locker shut, she turned, preparing to go off to French when she found herself face to face with….
"Kurt!"