answer
here's the answer i could not bring myself to tell you:
there are too many things, too many memories that flashed through my mind when you asked me "do you wanna go back to my car?". this is the reason i shut down, or became "emo", as you put it. i care about you, and i dont want you to become another one of those god damned relationships of mine when all i end up doing is using the guy for my own sexual desires. i know you probably wouldnt care, but i do. i would find a way to hurt you, even if i didnt mean to. the feelings would die. there would be nothing. i want something more than that from you, but if you find this too much to handle, i understand. but that's all i will reveal until i know truly what you feel for me. until i know whether or not this should plague my mind like it does.
-me