The Liberal Agenda
Saw this in a Fark thread. Awesome.
Liberal Agenda
8:00 - Wake up. Hug tree.
8:10 - Quick breakfast of Wheaties w/ banana and unborn fetuses, stem cells spread on toast.
8:20 - Get dressed in hemp suit.
8:30 - Miscellaneous worship of false idols.
8:45 - Drive to methadone clinic in hybrid car; 30% electric, 70% Bible
furnace.
8:50 - Receive methadone. Sell for pot.
9:00 - Catch up on a little reading: Torah, Koran, Book of Mormon, other
books not The Bible.
10:00 - Stop on way to welfare office to drown puppies.
10:20 - Pickup welfare check.
10:30 - Cash check.
10:35 - Buy more pot.
11:30 - Miscellaneous Sodomy.
12:00 - Light lunch of sushi and stem cell pie, plus cappuccino, at
upscale coffee shop.
12:30 - Stop at nearest cemetery to bleach flags on veterans' graves.
1:30 - Miscellaneous coveting.
3:00 - Steal babies, throw them from bridge.
3:30 - Bomb a church.
4:00 - Meeting with Jews for instructions on what news stories to run
today.
5:00 - Formal dinner/fund raiser of virgin Christian sacrifice. Guest
speakers Michael Moore, Al Franken, Satan, and Bizarro Ann Coulter.
6:30 - Smoke cigars lit by a burning pictures of Jesus
6:45 - Infiltrate the school system to attract impressionable young
student to the homosexual lifestyle.
7:00 - Miscellaneous taking the Lord's name in vain.
7:10 - Smoke pot.
7:15 - Giggle for about twenty minutes.
7:35 - Order pizza with extra cheese and stem cells.
8:00 - Pay pizza man in food stamps.
8:30 - Watch Real Time with Bill Maher.
9:30 - Bedtime snack of nachos with three kind of cheese and peppers. No
stem cells, watching weight.
10:00 - Miscellaneous dishonor of mother and father.
10:30 - Early bedtime, need rest for tomorrow's All-Day Sodomy Fest.
Liberal Agenda
8:00 - Wake up. Hug tree.
8:10 - Quick breakfast of Wheaties w/ banana and unborn fetuses, stem cells spread on toast.
8:20 - Get dressed in hemp suit.
8:30 - Miscellaneous worship of false idols.
8:45 - Drive to methadone clinic in hybrid car; 30% electric, 70% Bible
furnace.
8:50 - Receive methadone. Sell for pot.
9:00 - Catch up on a little reading: Torah, Koran, Book of Mormon, other
books not The Bible.
10:00 - Stop on way to welfare office to drown puppies.
10:20 - Pickup welfare check.
10:30 - Cash check.
10:35 - Buy more pot.
11:30 - Miscellaneous Sodomy.
12:00 - Light lunch of sushi and stem cell pie, plus cappuccino, at
upscale coffee shop.
12:30 - Stop at nearest cemetery to bleach flags on veterans' graves.
1:30 - Miscellaneous coveting.
3:00 - Steal babies, throw them from bridge.
3:30 - Bomb a church.
4:00 - Meeting with Jews for instructions on what news stories to run
today.
5:00 - Formal dinner/fund raiser of virgin Christian sacrifice. Guest
speakers Michael Moore, Al Franken, Satan, and Bizarro Ann Coulter.
6:30 - Smoke cigars lit by a burning pictures of Jesus
6:45 - Infiltrate the school system to attract impressionable young
student to the homosexual lifestyle.
7:00 - Miscellaneous taking the Lord's name in vain.
7:10 - Smoke pot.
7:15 - Giggle for about twenty minutes.
7:35 - Order pizza with extra cheese and stem cells.
8:00 - Pay pizza man in food stamps.
8:30 - Watch Real Time with Bill Maher.
9:30 - Bedtime snack of nachos with three kind of cheese and peppers. No
stem cells, watching weight.
10:00 - Miscellaneous dishonor of mother and father.
10:30 - Early bedtime, need rest for tomorrow's All-Day Sodomy Fest.