Ex boyfriends
It's been ten years more or less since my last boyfriend. Truth be told I was a bit of a shitty boyfriend to him. Barrie was younger than me. In his early 20's and just coming out. I wasn't very patient with him or very empathetic about what he needed. Though if I'd known just how new to it all (he'd told me there had been other guys. Turns out I was the first ever) I hope I would've been a wee bit more understanding. Of course this wasn't helped by the fact I still hadn't gotten round to having my sleep apnea dealt with. Working shifts and being chronically tired left me an even grumpier fuck than I am now. (I can hear gasps from the back "Derek is a grumpy fellow? Never') Those days that I had off just wanting to sleep.
In the end Barrie saw sense and broke up with me. We stayed friendly and in contact for a few years. He dated a few guys etc. Then he met someone who seemed a wee bit weird. Bit by bit the guy separated Barrie from all the mutual acquaintances we had. The new guy even went to the extent of pretending to be Barrie online. He got photos of Barrie I had deleted off Flickr. Pretended to be him in online chats from faceless profiles on gaydar etc. Unfortunately by this time I didn't have any current address, phone number or email for him. So I've not had any way of getting hold of him to find out how he is doing.
I have to say that I was worried by this. Not sure if there is or was anything I could do. The new partner was at best a controlling and jealous guy. The "At worst" scenario is something I hate to even contemplate. Maybe I misjudged things but I doubt it. So for his sake I hope he has got out of the situation and us ok. Fingers crossed. It's been a few years since that and I do still think about him and worry.
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