(no subject)
so ive realized im really bad at updating this, but wonderfull at checking my facebook, wich means everyone here sohuld get a fb or at least use it more
but im going to try to use this more cause ppl seem to have the most profound thoughts, and type them all out here, so i feel...well, not prufound, watever that it
and i also realize that i have nothing in my about me stuff, i never did that...hmm, wat am i like? who really knows..ive changd so much in the past years...well, no one here knows the trasnformations iv been though cause iv only known u guys for a ocuple months, but its weird...cause i feel as though iv known everyone alot longer, hmmm
but i mean realyl, ive gone from depressed 205lb, tomboy selfhateing and unsocial girl...to....well, wat do i count as now? i dress complelty different, i dont wear boys cloothing, i care about how i look, boys, grades...friends, does that mean im a different person? have i retained any of who i was? did it just make me stronger going throu that, and how much of who i was has continued thou to now
id like to think that iv stayd true to myself,cause thoughout that whole time of self hating,well, i was self hating, and i didnt like it adn i knew that, ubt i didnt do anything aobut it, and now...ive done something obut it, and im a much happier and more comfortable with myself. i know that ive kept the part of me that jim hurt...im not sure how im ever oging to able to let that go...now that my mom is getting remaried... and my dad jsut got remarried too.. all of these emotions i didnt even kno i had have come up. wen dad married marthai had 7yrs to go throu a relationship wiht her, to b mad, and then make up, and then hate her and go back again... but my mom has only known alan for a year.. i mean yes hes a great guy and very sweet and respectful, theres not even realyl any simmilarities to jim, but ,,. i cant help but think how similar this situation this is to my momand jim...they dated for 8months, got married and everything was wonderful for a year, but then, it turnd to hell. he startd emotionally abuseing us and as the second year progressed..well, it didnt go to well..but once it progressd to physical, then she kicked him out.
wow shit, i cant belive i jsut typed all that, i mean, its different wen i talking to my friends, btu to jsut type it out, and put it in writing, its almost liberating...im even considering putting other stuff out there, btu im not sure if im able to go there yet, who knows? im guessing one can become pretty comortable wiht writing to, 'no one' cept ur 'frineds' but wat if u dont kno them tha well, how much do u want to shaare? how much of ur identity do u want to put out there?
but im going to try to use this more cause ppl seem to have the most profound thoughts, and type them all out here, so i feel...well, not prufound, watever that it
and i also realize that i have nothing in my about me stuff, i never did that...hmm, wat am i like? who really knows..ive changd so much in the past years...well, no one here knows the trasnformations iv been though cause iv only known u guys for a ocuple months, but its weird...cause i feel as though iv known everyone alot longer, hmmm
but i mean realyl, ive gone from depressed 205lb, tomboy selfhateing and unsocial girl...to....well, wat do i count as now? i dress complelty different, i dont wear boys cloothing, i care about how i look, boys, grades...friends, does that mean im a different person? have i retained any of who i was? did it just make me stronger going throu that, and how much of who i was has continued thou to now
id like to think that iv stayd true to myself,cause thoughout that whole time of self hating,well, i was self hating, and i didnt like it adn i knew that, ubt i didnt do anything aobut it, and now...ive done something obut it, and im a much happier and more comfortable with myself. i know that ive kept the part of me that jim hurt...im not sure how im ever oging to able to let that go...now that my mom is getting remaried... and my dad jsut got remarried too.. all of these emotions i didnt even kno i had have come up. wen dad married marthai had 7yrs to go throu a relationship wiht her, to b mad, and then make up, and then hate her and go back again... but my mom has only known alan for a year.. i mean yes hes a great guy and very sweet and respectful, theres not even realyl any simmilarities to jim, but ,,. i cant help but think how similar this situation this is to my momand jim...they dated for 8months, got married and everything was wonderful for a year, but then, it turnd to hell. he startd emotionally abuseing us and as the second year progressed..well, it didnt go to well..but once it progressd to physical, then she kicked him out.
wow shit, i cant belive i jsut typed all that, i mean, its different wen i talking to my friends, btu to jsut type it out, and put it in writing, its almost liberating...im even considering putting other stuff out there, btu im not sure if im able to go there yet, who knows? im guessing one can become pretty comortable wiht writing to, 'no one' cept ur 'frineds' but wat if u dont kno them tha well, how much do u want to shaare? how much of ur identity do u want to put out there?