RP: Thank You for the Music

[shh_zach]

Date: June 11th, 2005
Characters: Zacharias Smith, Wayne Hopkins
Location: River Place, Zach's Flat
Status: Private
Summary: A celebration of sorts.
Completion: Complete

Comments

[shh_wayne]

At Zach's words, Wayne had to laugh. "Very together? Mate, you've tested the limit of my restraint more times than I care to admit in the last couple of weeks," he said.

"It doesn't bother me because I'm comfortable with being attracted to you, and I've not got a cute bird that I'm also snogging and wanting to shag," he pointed out. "Lot easier to be okay with it when I'm not juggling two people and trying to decide which to choose."

He smiled wryly. "Though, putting it that way doesn't really make it sound too great. Waiting for you to choose means someone won't get picked, which means there'll be hurt and awkwardness regardless of which way you go. Can't keep putting it off, either, because it'll just make it even worse. Course, much as I like you and think there's maybe something that could be there, beyond the lust, 'm not gonna hang around waiting forever."

"And, yeah, one reason this is so fucked up is that you don't know what you want," he said, shrugging slightly. "It's new and unexpected, so that's not too surprising. As for me, well, I'm still shocked as fuck that I've felt this way for you when, honestly, I'd just thought you were fit and never paid it any attention before the other night."

He trailed off and laughed. "I can't even blame Scotch for making me ramble like a bird tonight."

[shh_zach]

"I'm not snogging her, or shagging her," Zach said at once, sitting up a bit straighter. "I've not even kissed her properly. I'm not... I'm not some bloke who would just play with people that way."

He pushed his pasta around the plate before taking another bite and the replying. "I am not trying to decide between the two of you. How can you think that? You're both completely different. There is no comparison. I want... I want to have both of you in my life. I just don't know how that's going to work. And I don't know why you effect me the way you do. Maybe if I did, I could understand things a bit better." He sighed. "I can't get you out of my head, and when you're close to me... it drives me mad." He looked up at Wayne, holding his eyes. "Am I a bad person? Does it make me a bad person that I'm attracted to both of you?"

[shh_wayne]

"Sorry. I wasn't sure what you were doing with her, seeing as I just know what you've done with me," he said simply. "And, no, you're not that way. If you were, I'd certainly not be considering how this attraction could mean something more in time."

He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "You're not a bad person for being attracted to two people at the same time," he said thoughtfully. "It happens. Hell, I could list a half-dozen that I find attractive at any given time. And I know this between us was definitely a surprise, because I feel that, too. It'll take you time to figure out what you want because, Zach, regardless of what you want, you can't have us both as more than friends, so there'll eventually be a choice. Regardless of whether you actually want to make one or not. That's just how life goes, you know? Doesn't make you a bad person, doesn't make any of us bad people, but it'll happen either by you realizing what you want to pursue as more than just friendship or by you losing the choice at all."

"'ve gotta say that I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only going out of their head in this," he murmured. "Keep thinking about you a lot, far more than I should, and I'm usually really good at separating friendship from attraction but, with you, it's just fucking impossible, it seems, since I've thought about kissing you since I arrived and you answered the door with your bare feet and wet hair."

[shh_zach]

Zach nodded, unsure how to respond to most of what Wayne had said. He did not want this to boil down to a choice. How could he choose?

"I don't... ah fuck. Two weeks ago my life made sense. I was caring for my niece and my sister and my brother, up all bloody night, exhausted, unhappy and lonely... but at least my brain didn't feel like it was going to leak out of my ears. Then it's like everything exploded at once. I knew that I liked blokes. Not something I liked or wanted to talk about and I'd never planned on acting on it. And things with Mandy had been normal, same flirting, same friendship. Then I come back here and..." He looked up at Wayne. "I don't expect anyone to wait while my mind sorts itself out. But you'll have to forgive me if I fuck up occasionally. This is all entirely new to me. All of it."

Zach felt himself flush slightly at Wayne's words and he smiled. "And here I thought I was helping you out by wearing ratty clothes and not having time to dry my hair. You on the other hand dressed. I'd say you have the upper hand." He wiped his mouth on his napkin and reached for his ale, looking into Wayne's eyes. "Are you thinking about it now?"

[shh_wayne]

"Eh, life never really makes sense, Zach. If it does, well, something's probably wrong and you just don't know it yet," he said. "As for forgiving, we all fuck up. Nobody's perfect. It's been years since I've been anywhere close to whatever is happening between us, but it's not new, which is why I know it's rough to deal with all this right now."

He shook his head. "Doesn't matter what you wear, mate," he murmured. "And of course I'm dressed. Not like I'd come down here for dinner naked or anything. Not without an invitation specifying 'clothing is optional'."

After taking another bite of his pasta, he washed it down with a drink of ale. At Zach's question, he looked up and licked sauce from his lips. "Maybe," he said slowly, glancing at Zach's lips before he met his eyes. "What are you thinking about?"

[shh_zach]

Zach chuckled. "I meant dressed. Like dressed nice. But no, I can't see how it would matter what you wore either. You could wear a suit of armour and it likely wouldn't make a difference. I'd still not be able to think straight. No pun intended."

He groaned softly as Wayne licked his lips again, and then quickly took another bite of pasta so that he could focus on chewing rather than the fact that his denims were uncomfortably tight. God, he was pathetic.

Taking a sip of ale, he sat his bottle on the table and looked
Wayne in the eye. "I'm thinking that if you don't stop licking your lips, I'm going to end up messing up those nice clothes of yours. I'd hate to do that to you, mate."

[shh_wayne]

"It's just work clothes." Wayne shrugged and grinned. "Used to hate having to wear them, but it's such a habit that I put them on without even thinking about it." He leaned back in his chair and nodded. "Nice to know I'm not the only one who can't think straight."

When he heard Zach groan, he shifted in his chair and focused on the food. Maybe if he did that, he'd be able to get himself under control. While it had been awhile since he'd felt inclined to even bother with the whole dating or possible future relationship shite, he normally was able to just relax and remain relatively unaffected. With Zach, though, he could barely stop himself from drooling, even when he told himself to keep his attention on the friendship aspect.

He looked up to find Zach watching him and tightened his grip on the bottle of ale while he listened. "Why?" he asked huskily. "After all, we're wizards, so we don't have to stay messy too long." He held Zach's gaze and licked his lips against before taking a sip of his drink.

[shh_zach]

"No, you're definitely not the only one," Zach said quietly, looking down at his plate and then looking up at Wayne through his lashes. The room seemed much hotter than it had only a moment before, and the tension mounted as they looked at each other.

"You do know," he said, "that you're not helping matters by making arguments like that, yes?" He gave Wayne a half-smile. "Do you know any spells that will repair ripped fabric?"

[shh_wayne]

It was tempting to just get up and kiss Zach. Unfortunately, it wasn't wise at all to do so. While he wasn't very smart in most areas, this time, he knew that it was best to restrain himself. When Zach was ready for more than flirting and this un-fucking-believable tension, then they'd go from there.

"Simply being honest," he pointed out, smiling slightly. "Not sure about ripped fabric, but I figure we could think of something if it was needed."

He finished his pasta and took another drink, finishing off the ale. "Probably not smart to continue down this path, though," he said slowly. It wasn't easy trying to be a voice of reason when his trousers were tight and all he could think about at that particular moment was drinking ale off Zach's chest.

[shh_zach]

"I'm sure we could," Zach agreed, his voice a bit shaky. He took a few deep breaths and then finished his pasta as well, and then draining the rest of his ale.

"Probably not," he said quietly, keeping his eyes averted so that he could get himself under control. Finally, he looked back up at Wayne and smiled. "I have something for you. I almost forgot."

Standing, he walked to the cupboard and brought out a bottle of scotch, an ornate red ribbon tied around the middle. He took the bottle back to the table and sat it in front of Wayne.

[shh_wayne]

"Something for me? Oh, right. The surprise. I just figured that was your company during our meal." He smiled and winked as he watched Zach stand up.

"Fuck," he muttered, putting his elbows on the table and leaning forward to rest his face in them when Zach went to get the surprise. This shouldn't be so difficult. He took several deep breaths and counted to ten before Zach returned to the table.

He looked up and saw a bottle of scotch with a bow. "Trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me, mate?" he asked with a lazy smile as he moved his finger over the bow and glanced at Zach. "Don't need to get me drunk for that."

[shh_zach]

"Oh hell no," Zach said, letting his fingers brush against Wayne's arm. "You were very clear that you'll fall asleep on me if I get you drunk. I'd prefer you awake. If, of course, I ever decided to take advantage of you."

He nodded at the scotch. "I wanted to repay you for the other night. Come on, now, be a mate and offer me some of your scotch. I'll provide the glasses, and then you can provide the entertainment afterward, all right?"

[shh_wayne]

"Smart boy," he murmured, glancing at his arm where Zach had touched before he looked away and cleared his throat. "If you ever decided to, I'd definitely be awake."

"Didn't have to repay me, mate. However, there's not a chance in hell that I'd refuse a bottle of scotch," he said with a grin. "Get the glasses then we'll see about having that dance, yeah?"

[shh_zach]

Zach nodded and reached out and squeezed his forearm before walking back to the cupboard. Grabbing two glasses, he carried them back and sat them in front of his guest before taking their plates to the sink.

"The pasta was fantastic," he said, wiping his hands on his jeans and coming back to pick up his now filled glass. "Come on, lets move this to the living room. Unless you think it's safer keeping a table in between us." He grinned and held out a hand to Wayne to pull him up.