Dates and Thoughts
Date: 25th May 2007
Characters: Blaise Zabini, Terry Boot
Location: Terry’s then Roma
Status: Semi private
Summary: Blaise and Terry go out, but Blaise's mind is elsewhere.
Completion: complete
Blaise leant against the door to Terry’s apartment, his hands smoothing down his robes as he waited for his lover to answer. He hadn’t told Terry of his plans, hadn’t even said he was coming over - that was something they didn’t seem to bother with as much now. As Blaise smoothed out a crease in the dark blue cloak he’d chosen to wear for the night, Blaise thought that perhaps that should worry him - the easy routine they’d settled into. The way it was just accepted they’d see each other. Maybe that was why he’d decided to take Terry out tonight. Do something that felt less - domestic. Less established.
Tonight date would perhaps be even more of a surprise than Blaise's usual unexpected arrivals. Doubly so since they hadn’t seen each other since before Terry had left for Ben’s holiday. They’d owled, but Blaise had been working flat out at the library, and Terry had work to catch up on too. Blaise couldn’t have afforded the break away - there was too much to get done at the library ready for opening even if the promise of a pink, plastic-y castle and thousands of Muggle children had appealed to him which they did not. Set backs meant they wouldn’t be open for June and Blaise was partly glad of the excuse not to go. Glad Terry hadn’t pushed too hard and understood too. Some of the work Dean had looked over had taken longer than expected as well as general organisation causing problems. Blaise had planned for contingencies though. Projects like these never ran on time. All being well though June would see the doors open and Blaise could step back slightly - take a break.
He really just hoped that Ben was with Megan or that Michael was around to baby-sit because having a four year old along tonight didn’t sound like the best idea and he was still recovering from the pool party.
Ben was the main problem with Terry. The thing above all other’s that gave Blaise real pause. Though that giggling of Terry’s at the pool party had been quite a cause for concern too, Blaise thought wryly. He was a nice enough kid, but he was main thing Blaise would change. Part of him felt guilty about that; he knew from most of his deceased step-fathers how it felt to be the unwanted baggage in your parent’s new relationship. Whilst Ben didn’t know he was that unwanted baggage or that Blaise was anything more than a good friend of his father’s, it didn’t make Blaise feel any less at fault for the feelings.
The problem was that Blaise had never expected his interest in Terry last November to turn into what it was now. Had he thought it was a possibility back then, he would have been more cautious, should have been more cautious, because he hadn’t wanted to be in a situation where there was a child involved and there were expectations on him to be -
Blaise wasn’t sure what Terry wanted him to be to Ben. Whether he just wanted Blaise to accept that Ben was part of his life and get on with him, or whether he wanted him to be something more. ’Daddy number two: Those had been Hermione words to him earlier that year, and Blaise made himself with strain a shudder of panic at the thought.
He couldn’t be that. Didn’t know how. Children were something Blaise had never given much thought to beyond precautions that he never had to deal with anyone coming out the woodwork and calling him father. He hadn’t really thought about whether he wanted them at some point, but Blaise supposed that it was just an unwritten, unsaid, unthought decision that no - children weren’t for him.
But being with Terry changed that. Forced the issue he’d never thought he’d have to deal with.
Blaise tapped his fingers idly on the door frame. And there was always the question of Ben’s reaction. When he did find out how would he react? Would he blame Blaise for his parents splitting up? The fact that Blaise hadn’t known Terry then could be irrelevant, he’d be an easy target for Ben to place the blame. Would he understand the relationship? He was so young. Or would he accept it and place his own expectations on Blaise, one’s that went beyond him being an indulgent adult figure to his friend’s son? Whatever Terry might expect, what Ben would expect of him could be a totally different thing.
Blaise was anything but stupid. Hadn’t been naïve since the incident with Alexander. And Blaise knew that any relat… anything with Terry meant having some kind of relationship with Ben too. Eventually. He just wasn’t sure he could handle it right now. Not when he was still getting used to just being with someone for more than a night. Not with his mother and Luc’s death and the direction his interests had taken of late in relation to the enigma that was his father. Ben on top of that was too much, and Blaise was just trying not to think too much about the little boy right now.
So yes, he really hoped he was with Megan or Michael was around.
He swallowed, smoothed his robes down again and continued waiting, forcing his mind to the subject of the library and the impending staff search.
Characters: Blaise Zabini, Terry Boot
Location: Terry’s then Roma
Status: Semi private
Summary: Blaise and Terry go out, but Blaise's mind is elsewhere.
Completion: complete
Blaise leant against the door to Terry’s apartment, his hands smoothing down his robes as he waited for his lover to answer. He hadn’t told Terry of his plans, hadn’t even said he was coming over - that was something they didn’t seem to bother with as much now. As Blaise smoothed out a crease in the dark blue cloak he’d chosen to wear for the night, Blaise thought that perhaps that should worry him - the easy routine they’d settled into. The way it was just accepted they’d see each other. Maybe that was why he’d decided to take Terry out tonight. Do something that felt less - domestic. Less established.
Tonight date would perhaps be even more of a surprise than Blaise's usual unexpected arrivals. Doubly so since they hadn’t seen each other since before Terry had left for Ben’s holiday. They’d owled, but Blaise had been working flat out at the library, and Terry had work to catch up on too. Blaise couldn’t have afforded the break away - there was too much to get done at the library ready for opening even if the promise of a pink, plastic-y castle and thousands of Muggle children had appealed to him which they did not. Set backs meant they wouldn’t be open for June and Blaise was partly glad of the excuse not to go. Glad Terry hadn’t pushed too hard and understood too. Some of the work Dean had looked over had taken longer than expected as well as general organisation causing problems. Blaise had planned for contingencies though. Projects like these never ran on time. All being well though June would see the doors open and Blaise could step back slightly - take a break.
He really just hoped that Ben was with Megan or that Michael was around to baby-sit because having a four year old along tonight didn’t sound like the best idea and he was still recovering from the pool party.
Ben was the main problem with Terry. The thing above all other’s that gave Blaise real pause. Though that giggling of Terry’s at the pool party had been quite a cause for concern too, Blaise thought wryly. He was a nice enough kid, but he was main thing Blaise would change. Part of him felt guilty about that; he knew from most of his deceased step-fathers how it felt to be the unwanted baggage in your parent’s new relationship. Whilst Ben didn’t know he was that unwanted baggage or that Blaise was anything more than a good friend of his father’s, it didn’t make Blaise feel any less at fault for the feelings.
The problem was that Blaise had never expected his interest in Terry last November to turn into what it was now. Had he thought it was a possibility back then, he would have been more cautious, should have been more cautious, because he hadn’t wanted to be in a situation where there was a child involved and there were expectations on him to be -
Blaise wasn’t sure what Terry wanted him to be to Ben. Whether he just wanted Blaise to accept that Ben was part of his life and get on with him, or whether he wanted him to be something more. ’Daddy number two: Those had been Hermione words to him earlier that year, and Blaise made himself with strain a shudder of panic at the thought.
He couldn’t be that. Didn’t know how. Children were something Blaise had never given much thought to beyond precautions that he never had to deal with anyone coming out the woodwork and calling him father. He hadn’t really thought about whether he wanted them at some point, but Blaise supposed that it was just an unwritten, unsaid, unthought decision that no - children weren’t for him.
But being with Terry changed that. Forced the issue he’d never thought he’d have to deal with.
Blaise tapped his fingers idly on the door frame. And there was always the question of Ben’s reaction. When he did find out how would he react? Would he blame Blaise for his parents splitting up? The fact that Blaise hadn’t known Terry then could be irrelevant, he’d be an easy target for Ben to place the blame. Would he understand the relationship? He was so young. Or would he accept it and place his own expectations on Blaise, one’s that went beyond him being an indulgent adult figure to his friend’s son? Whatever Terry might expect, what Ben would expect of him could be a totally different thing.
Blaise was anything but stupid. Hadn’t been naïve since the incident with Alexander. And Blaise knew that any relat… anything with Terry meant having some kind of relationship with Ben too. Eventually. He just wasn’t sure he could handle it right now. Not when he was still getting used to just being with someone for more than a night. Not with his mother and Luc’s death and the direction his interests had taken of late in relation to the enigma that was his father. Ben on top of that was too much, and Blaise was just trying not to think too much about the little boy right now.
So yes, he really hoped he was with Megan or Michael was around.
He swallowed, smoothed his robes down again and continued waiting, forcing his mind to the subject of the library and the impending staff search.