RP: Looking for Trouble

[shh_gilderoy]

Date: November 13, 2004
Characters: “The Posse”: Gilderoy, Cormac, Wayne, Hestia
Location: Out on the Town/in the Country
Status: Semi-Private (they might visit a farm or two)
Summary: Gilderoy forms a posse and goes out looking for “Trouble” in the wake of the terrorist attack on Rosemerta’s lovely home and respectable establishment.
Warning:

Comments

[shh_gilderoy]

Gilderoy waved to the angry bald man and the one who was too shy to talk about his girl problems, and nodded to the rest of his posse. Well, at least there were four of them again, and everyone knew one needed four members to be a true posse.

"Alright men, and woman, follow me! We'll go find those vandals and give them what for!"

He lead onward down the road toward the... um...

"Say, does anyone else know where that farm is where we're going? I'm afraid I haven't been this far away from home yet."

[shh_cormac]

Cormac considered which direction to go in. Perhaps through the fields would be best? "We go that way men, and er, Hestia. Once more into the breech I say." He turned to Malfoy. "And if you try any funny business, Mr. Malfoy, I will hex off certain bits of your anatomy that you haven't been able to use since you've been, you know, in prison."

Cormac strode ahead, certain that everyone would follow along behind him, as he was, of course, their Leader. "The Chickens won't know what's coming," he murmered. "We'll be able to roost them out of their nest no problem."

[shh_lucius]

This was not an encouraging turn of events. For one thing, Lucius did not care for that boy's tone of voice... but it did seem that they were all part of what passed for "the law," and without his walking papers - bound up as they were with his belongings, which should be at his flat under the watchful eye of Roddy - he really didn't see the point in making all of them angry at him.

Although he did wish Lockhart would stop looking at him like that.

"I really do need to be getting home," he called out as he followed along, however reluctantly. "You're detaining an innocent civilian who has pressing business elsewhere, I hope you realize."

[shh_gilderoy]

The one terribly distressing thing about going across country rather than in the road - well, at least one of them- is that one never knows what kind of animals one will encounter while traipsing through their pasture.

In the case of the Posse, the closer they got to the farm houses, the closer they got to both the sleeping cows, and the gaggle of geese that had been attempting to sleep in front of that alpaca house thing with hay in it.

"Oh, Um, Auror Cormac, I think you might want to look where you're--"

[shh_cormac]

Cormac turned around to glare at Lockhart. They were supposed to be stealth afterall, and there went the chap chattering on about...

He felt a sharp pain around his ankles. "Fuck!" he exclaimed. "What the hell..." Another one. And another. "Sneak attack!" he cried, and aimed his wand in front of him.

He didn't know what kind of charm would cause..."Bloody fuck!" he said as a rather nasty hex took a chunk out of his ankle.

If he hadn't known better, he'd say he was being attacked by..."Geese? Bloody hell!"

There were swarms of them, all converging upon the detective team at once. "Wands at the ready men, these must be the advance guard."

Perhaps the Trouble makers were all Geese animagi? It was the only possible explanation.

[shh_susan]

Susan had the security wards on the fields set to little bells that rang in her loft, so she was already pulling her boots on when she heard the geese. Bugger, bugger, bugger.

She grabbed up her sawed-off shotgun and wand hastily, then slid down the ladder so fast that she scarcely touched the rungs. Just her luck, having the war ended and then a bunch of vandals or such trying to break in and steal things...

Susan was a rather odd sight as she shot out of the barn, wearing her long johns against the cold frost (and for modesty, given that she more or less shared a bedroom with Severus Snape) and a pair of heavy boots, her hair falling in soft wisps around her face, and heavily armed.

"Hands in the air!" she belted out, loading the shotgun ominously. "Now, or I'll pepper you lot till you rattle like coin-purses!"

[shh_lucius]

When the geese went up, Lucius took a hasty step back. This was not only utterly ridiculous, it was utterly insane, mad, and probably dangerous as well. He cursed whatever fates had brought him in contact with this group of -

Dear God, they weren't the authority after all! There was no way a landowner would be waving a weapon - and what the hell was that thing, anyway? - at a group of properly recognized law-enforcers. Kingsley Shacklebolt had probably been shepherding a bunch of lunatics from one asylum to another, and he'd let them take Lucius along to get shot at - !

Oh, the ex-Auror was going to pay.

For now, though, Lucius' options were unfortunately limited. He had backed away as far as he could without drawing too much attention to himself, wanting to make it clear he was not "with" them, and raised his hands in what he hoped was a superior manner. Now it was just a question of waiting the crazies out so that he could get home - wherever his home was - and get back at Kingsley Shacklebolt later.

[shh_gilderoy]

Okay, assess the situation, then find the appropriate solution. We have enemies, threefold. One girl holding some kind of giant wand with holes in it, wearing a shockingly Muggle ghetto ensemble. There are large cow-beasts out in the pasture, and we're currently also being attacked by violent homocidal poultry.

Obviously the poultry poses the worst threat, so it would be best to get everyone to safety first.

"Girl with no fashion sense! We're at your mercy for the time-being. Can we borrow your alpaca house for a few moments so we might shelter ourselves from the man-killing fowl? I do not want to suffer the same fate as the other Lord in Dark."

Gilderoy grabbed for Lucius' arm. If he was going to save one person, it would be the man with the amazing hair. The girl looked like she was holding her own, and the other one was an auror, so he should be alright.

[shh_cormac]

Cormac didn't have time for a little slip of a girl to be aiming...was that a shot gun? He'd seen on in a Muggle cop movie, so knew how it worked.

"Stand down, woman! I'm an Auror, and can't you see I'm busy fending off geese Animagi?" he shouted, as he kicked a goose out of the way, and sent a Petrificus Totalus toward a group of geese heading his way. "If you must persist in pointing that shot gun at anyone, point them at the Chickens disguised as geese!"

[shh_susan]

Susan didn't even know what to say as her eyes passed over the intruders. Two Aurors, a Death Eater, and Gilderoy bloody Lockhart? Who was apparently insulting her while demanding refuge from her geese? Fury washed over her, and fear too. It wasn't good when representatives of the two groups most likely to forcibly remove Severus Snape showed up in the middle of the night. But with Gilderoy Lockhart? What was he supposed to do, smile her into submission?

Wand pointed straight with her right hand, she discharged the shotgun over their heads with her left, carefully avoiding the geese. She reloaded. "I said hands in the air! You have no authority to trespass on my property in the middle of the night with a bleeding Death Eater, or did someone declare martial law and not tell me?" she demanded sarcastically.

Her gaze fixed on Cormac. "And if you aim one more spell at my geese, you're dead. Those are the Christmas geese!"

[shh_lucius]

"I'm not with them," Lucius called out. He could put up with being referred to as a Death Eater in that tone of voice, so long as he didn't get shot. He began to pick his way carefully around the other three towards the girl with the noisemaker, watching carefully for any sign that he should stop.

"I believe you'll find - there's been some sort of mistake. A certain Auror - perhaps you know him? Kingsley Shacklebolt? He was escorting these..." Lucius turned to look at the others. "I'm not sure, but I believe they may be escaped lunatics. I'm only trying to reach my new home at the Copper Towers."

Well, apparently Lucius had to cast his lot with someone, and he'd rather take a chance on making a good impression on a young girl - the one holding the weapons - than with the ragtag group standing in the middle of a field with their hands in the air.

He gave the girl the best smile he could muster. "I'm sure you understand my predicament."

[shh_gilderoy]

The loud thunder that came out from that double-decker wand sent Lockhart's ears ringing and caused him to lose his equilibrium. Of course, standing in the mud as they were, it was rather difficult to keep his footing (since he was wearing his lifted dark eelskin boots with the flat soles).

Desperately trying to gain some sort of footing as he fell, he grabbed onto the nearest thing - which happened to be the young Auror.

Not a moment later, both he and the auror were on the ground, in the mud, living out Gilderoy's worst fear - they were being eaten alive - pecked to death by angry, violent goose-chickens.

It was a good thing his cloak had the "dirt repellant" charm cast on it, or he might have gotten it soiled in the mud.

[shh_cormac]

Okay, that was it. Now he was pissed off. He could have handled the geese, and the shot gun, but the mud? That was the last straw.

He growled low in his throat and pushed Lockhart off him, thrilled when the man's shiny golden locks sunk into the mud. The deerstalker hat had fallen off in the tumble. "That's it. Enough!" he shouted, and pushed himself to his feet by leaning on Lockhart and pushing the man deeper into the muck.

He banished the geese to the furthese pasture, having long realized that the geese were just geese and not Chicken animagi geese.

He calmly brushed the mud off his sleeve, and plopped it on Lockhart's face with a sadistic grin. He turned to the slip of a girl again and said with as charming a smile he could manage, "Terribly sorry for the trespassing. I'm searching for the vandals who stole Rosemerta's meat and burned her sign last night. You haven't, by any chance, seen any hooligans about the place?"

[shh_susan]

Susan had moved her wand so that it was still covering Lucius, while the shotgun stayed aimed at the other three. Not that it seemed to matter. They were apparently their own worst enemies, falling over their feet into the mud, tussling a bit. And Hestia, she seemed just trying not to laugh. Not very successfully.

"Yes," Susan said in an irritated, soft voice. "Four. And I'd like them to go away now, please." She whipped her head around to glare at Lucius. "What are you, an idiot? Kingsley Bloody Shacklebolt tells you to chum it up with the Idiot Brigade, and you say yes? Go home! Go home all of you so I can get my damned geese back, Lord alone knows where they've ended up."

[shh_hestia]

"Hello, Susan." She would probably owe her one for this. "I came along to try to keep these, gentlemen out of trouble." She knew Susan would extract the word gentlemen and insert the word idiots, at least she hoped so.

"And I am most definitely not with him." she walked out with her wand pointed at Malfoy.

[shh_lucius]

"As I said," Lucius muttered. "Not with them."

In any case, he had been given permission, in very clear terms, to be on his way. By the girl who was still pointing the noisemaker at the others, no less. So, slowly, carefully, Lucius made his way towards the road that led to town. He didn't bother to give any of the others a last glance as he headed off - perhaps, if he was lucky, he would never see any of them again in his life.

He could hope.