RP: Aren't you tired of the juggling act?

[shh_ron]

Date: 4 March 2005
Characters: Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger
Location: 33 Alpha Lane
Status: Private
Summary: Ron and Hermione talk about Cedric and Roger.
Completion: Complete

Comments

[shh_ron]

"You'll face them just fine," he said. "You've already faced them a bunch of times and neither of them seemed like I'd tried to take his head off, did they?" Of course they hadn't.

Smirking, Ron raised an eyebrow. "Lavender likes all of me, thanks very much. And you're doing an awful lot of thinking about men's bums for someone who supposedly has no interest in gripping them. So you've been told. Riiight."

"Okay, I'll explain," he said, watching her face as he talked. "First thing about relationships, Hermione, is that you can't figure them out in your head like an arithmancy problem or a potions assignment. They're not logical. They're about feelings. And feelings come from your body more than your mind. I 'spose that's hard for someone like you who uses her head so much, but that's pretty much how it seems to work. So if you've been trying to choose between Roger and Cedric based on something rational like a checklist, well, I don't think that'll work."

He took a breath, noticing that as she focused on him she worried her lip, the way she always did when she was figuring something out.

"Roger seems very relaxed and happy about the time he spends with you. Cedric, on the other hand..." Ron really felt bad for Cedric. "He likes you. He fancies you. But I think he senses that he fancies you more than you fancy him, if you fancy him at all. Roger didn't really talk about the kissing except that he wouldn't have done it again - this was more than two weeks ago -- if you'd not been okay with it. I know you've gone out with him a few times since then, so I assume you've kissed him again since then. If you're going out with someone and you keep on kissing them and the kissing seems to get better all the time, well..." He couldn't help smiling. "That's a good sign. Cedric, though, when he talked about the kissing, he said She didn't slap my face. And I asked if you'd kissed him back like you meant it and, well, he never answered me. I asked another question and he answered that but didn't really answer about you. So..."

[shh_hermione]

Ron started to explain about relationships, and she had to fight the urge to point out that he'd only one had one unless he counted the brief snogfest that past for a relationship back at Hogwarts with the same woman he was now dating. So, his opinion was far from expert. She trusted him, though, so she listened and frowned in thought, trying to understand.

When he was finished, she sighed. "There's more to a relationship than just kissing," she pointed out. "There's many factors involved, and the kissing isn't as important as some of those. Right? I mean, there is more, isn't there?"

She bit her lip and thought back to the one time in the two dates that she'd kissed Cedric. "I've only kissed Cedric once, on the second date, and it was quite nice. Or, well, I thought it was, but maybe it wasn't. It didn't make my tummy flutter like kissing Roger does, but it was just that one time, so would a first kiss do the flutter thing?" She made a face and shook her head. "I can't believe we're discussing my kissing two men."

"So, what? You think I should choose Roger because he's relaxed and Cedric didn't think our kiss was any good?" she asked, not exactly sure what he was saying for sure but hoping he could help her make sense of all this.

[shh_ron]

"I know the kissing isn't the most important," he said. "You can have chemistry with someone, that fluttery feeling in your stomach, but not have anything else. You've not asked, but I'll tell you why I'm back with Lavender again." Hermione seemed to cringe a bit but Ron forged onward. "It's not just the kissing and the sex, though I'm really happy with both of those and I think Lav is too. See, this time round with Lavender, I realised that when I'm with her, it's like no one else matters to me or her. I focus on her and she focuses on me. I feel really good just being with her. It's not just being relaxed. It's like she really gets me."

Hermione had to understand that, right? The idea of someone "getting you" couldn't be foreign to her. Harry seemed to "get" Hermione in a way Ron never had, and so did Viktor, Ron thought, and now Roger. But Cedric...

"So it seems to me, anyway, that Roger 'gets you' but, well, maybe Cedric doesn't. I reckon that's what your choice boils down to."

[shh_hermione]

"Is it really that simple?" she asked softly before she sighed and just let it out. "It's all such a mess, Ron. I don't know how it happened, but it started and just kept getting worse, and I couldn't stop it. I mean, I know I should have but I didn't, and now nothing's going to ever be the same."

She ran her hand through her hair and looked at the counter. "I don't know how it all went so crazy," she admitted. "Cedric asked me out, then I asked Roger out, and it all became this huge complicated fiasco. Friendships have maybe been ruined, things are so bloody awkward, and it's my fault for being so clueless and just acting without thinking. I never do that, you know? Why did I have to start now and end up hurting people that I really care about?"

"I keep thinking that it might have been better if I'd just told Cedric no from the start. I knew that I didn't feel that way towards him, but I'd never actually considered him that way, so I thought there was a chance that I might, in time. But I've tried and I do really care about him, I find him attractive, but there's just something missing. There's no spark, I guess, and it makes so much sense on paper, me and him together, but I want him to be happy and I honestly don't see myself being the person he needs to be happy," she admitted quietly. "I keep thinking about it, trying to make sure that I'm certain, because I've created this mess, and I don't want to make things worse."

She stopped talking as she realized she'd gone into a ramble even worse than the one to Viktor. It was Ron, though, and he understood her, even if he claimed that he didn't most the time. They fought and didn't agree often, but he knew her better than most people in the world, so she trusted him.

"Is it really as simple as who 'gets me'?"

[shh_ron]

Leaning his elbow on the counter, Ron listened as Hermione explained, in a very rambling manner, how things had come to the point they were at now.

"You never meant to hurt anyone, Hermione," he said. "Cedric and Roger know that. They're grown men, and when you put your heart on the line like they've done, it's a risk. They just happened to risk on the same woman." He was silent for a moment, his hand petting her hair. "If you honestly don't see yourself as the person who would make Cedric happy, then I think you've got your answer. And yeah, I think it really is that simple. Roger gets you, Cedric doesn't, at least not altogether, and you don't feel a spark with him."

She looked miserable, and Ron did what a best friend should do. He stood up and pulled her into a hug, her head resting against his shoulder.