RP: You might think my words come cheap
Date: 14 February 2005
Character(s): Remus Lupin, Severus Snape
Location: Remus's home
Status: Private
Summary: Remus awakes in the middle of the night. And talks, his words falling on deaf ears.
Completion: Complete
Rolling over in his sleep, Remus had the strange sensation of rolling into someone. He lifted his head, blinking the sleep from his eyes to find himself starting into the sleeping countenance of one Severus Snape. Remus's breath caught, his sleep-addled brain half thinking this had to be a dream and when Remus truly awoke, he would be painfully alone. But Severus's breath was warm on his skin and the way the man's fingers curled convulsively around his bare hip... Remus knew this was no dream and no vision brought on by a piece of bad meat.
Carefully turning his body, Remus moved so that he were facing Severus, his head tucked beneath the other man's chin. It had been his favourite position to sleep in -- the werewolf being held as if he were a child. Remus drew in a breath, hoping he hadn't woken Severus. Remus knew what this meant, on some deeper level, the fact that Severus had stayed the night. Severus simply did not sleep with his lovers. Sure, he had towards the end of their relationship but it had taken the better part of a year before Severus was comfortable enough with Remus to sleep in his presence.
Remus barely moved and didn't dare to breathe for the longest time. Severus rustled and Remus wondered if he had woken the other man. But as the moments passed, Remus began to release the breath he had been holding. Once more, the acerbic potions master was asleep and Remus was content in his arms.
For the longest time, Remus was content to watch Severus sleep. He knew, by all rights, that he never should have made love to this man. That he should have alerted Minerva, gotten him taken into custody and watched him hang for the crimes he had committed. Still, the thought of doing any one of those things made Remus's stomach twitch convulsively.
And if he were truly honest with himself, he did not believe Severus to be a guilty man. Guilty of murder, perhaps -- but at the same time... Remus began to wonder what hand had Dumbledore played in all of this?
Afterall, in the years that had followed Sirius's escape, Remus had learned certain things that were orchestrated by Dumbledore as to Sirius's own guilt and innocence.
"We are all pawns," Remus whispered, sliding his hand across Severus's chest. He watched the man sleep and soon found himself whispering into the darkness against Severus's chest. With Severus asleep, Remus could get his confessions off his chest. He didn't have to worry facing Severus's wrath or any of the ensuing arguments.
"I'm so sorry, Prince," Remus spoke, his fingers sliding through the dusting of hair across Severus's torso. "I know I should have believed, but how could I have ever imagined this would happen twice? Two innocent," Though, how innocent both men were truly remained to be seen, "men... both framed for murder and forced to be incarcerated for crimes that were not their own doing." Remus's fingers played, sliding upwards to very gently twine in Severus's hair. "Sirius in prison and you on the run for seven years. And through Albus, I lost nearly twenty years of my life in being separated from he who I loved."
The words came easier now, Remus could pretend that Severus heard all of this, but could take comfort in his slumber. It was easy to speak so candidly when one didn't have to fear reprisal for his words. There would be no fallout. And Remus would know that, on some level, he'd at last told Severus all.
"I know you will never understand my relationship with Dora. Frankly, I still do not understand it myself. She sought comfort from me that day and I was too stunned to shun her away. Regardless, I do not think I could have turned her away. I was too numb, to in shock that you would betray us all so -- especially after what you told me the night before.
"She... was my attempt to forget you. But I never could. You've always been there and for the longest time I hated you. I hated you for sending those dreams and making me remember. But in remembering, I know I could never be free of you, even if I wished to be." Remus drew in a breath, tucking his head against Severus's chest.
"And I don't." His last words were whispered against Severus's chest as his rhythmic breathing began to lull Remus back towards sleep.
"I love you, Prince. I always have... and I always will... no matter the consequences." Remus closed his eyes, feeling sleep coming quickly. "I abandoned one man. I'm given a second chance, and I will not let you go."
Character(s): Remus Lupin, Severus Snape
Location: Remus's home
Status: Private
Summary: Remus awakes in the middle of the night. And talks, his words falling on deaf ears.
Completion: Complete
Rolling over in his sleep, Remus had the strange sensation of rolling into someone. He lifted his head, blinking the sleep from his eyes to find himself starting into the sleeping countenance of one Severus Snape. Remus's breath caught, his sleep-addled brain half thinking this had to be a dream and when Remus truly awoke, he would be painfully alone. But Severus's breath was warm on his skin and the way the man's fingers curled convulsively around his bare hip... Remus knew this was no dream and no vision brought on by a piece of bad meat.
Carefully turning his body, Remus moved so that he were facing Severus, his head tucked beneath the other man's chin. It had been his favourite position to sleep in -- the werewolf being held as if he were a child. Remus drew in a breath, hoping he hadn't woken Severus. Remus knew what this meant, on some deeper level, the fact that Severus had stayed the night. Severus simply did not sleep with his lovers. Sure, he had towards the end of their relationship but it had taken the better part of a year before Severus was comfortable enough with Remus to sleep in his presence.
Remus barely moved and didn't dare to breathe for the longest time. Severus rustled and Remus wondered if he had woken the other man. But as the moments passed, Remus began to release the breath he had been holding. Once more, the acerbic potions master was asleep and Remus was content in his arms.
For the longest time, Remus was content to watch Severus sleep. He knew, by all rights, that he never should have made love to this man. That he should have alerted Minerva, gotten him taken into custody and watched him hang for the crimes he had committed. Still, the thought of doing any one of those things made Remus's stomach twitch convulsively.
And if he were truly honest with himself, he did not believe Severus to be a guilty man. Guilty of murder, perhaps -- but at the same time... Remus began to wonder what hand had Dumbledore played in all of this?
Afterall, in the years that had followed Sirius's escape, Remus had learned certain things that were orchestrated by Dumbledore as to Sirius's own guilt and innocence.
"We are all pawns," Remus whispered, sliding his hand across Severus's chest. He watched the man sleep and soon found himself whispering into the darkness against Severus's chest. With Severus asleep, Remus could get his confessions off his chest. He didn't have to worry facing Severus's wrath or any of the ensuing arguments.
"I'm so sorry, Prince," Remus spoke, his fingers sliding through the dusting of hair across Severus's torso. "I know I should have believed, but how could I have ever imagined this would happen twice? Two innocent," Though, how innocent both men were truly remained to be seen, "men... both framed for murder and forced to be incarcerated for crimes that were not their own doing." Remus's fingers played, sliding upwards to very gently twine in Severus's hair. "Sirius in prison and you on the run for seven years. And through Albus, I lost nearly twenty years of my life in being separated from he who I loved."
The words came easier now, Remus could pretend that Severus heard all of this, but could take comfort in his slumber. It was easy to speak so candidly when one didn't have to fear reprisal for his words. There would be no fallout. And Remus would know that, on some level, he'd at last told Severus all.
"I know you will never understand my relationship with Dora. Frankly, I still do not understand it myself. She sought comfort from me that day and I was too stunned to shun her away. Regardless, I do not think I could have turned her away. I was too numb, to in shock that you would betray us all so -- especially after what you told me the night before.
"She... was my attempt to forget you. But I never could. You've always been there and for the longest time I hated you. I hated you for sending those dreams and making me remember. But in remembering, I know I could never be free of you, even if I wished to be." Remus drew in a breath, tucking his head against Severus's chest.
"And I don't." His last words were whispered against Severus's chest as his rhythmic breathing began to lull Remus back towards sleep.
"I love you, Prince. I always have... and I always will... no matter the consequences." Remus closed his eyes, feeling sleep coming quickly. "I abandoned one man. I'm given a second chance, and I will not let you go."