RP: Afternoon Tea

[shh_tonks]

Date: 1 February 2005
Character(s): Tonks, Minerva McGonagall
Location: The School
Status: Private
Summary: Tonks goes to see her old Professor for some good old-fashioned ass-kicking.
Completion: Incomplete

Comments

[shh_minerva]

Minerva tried not to laugh or cringe as she watched Nymphadora enter the room in her usual style. She managed a look on her face that was somewhere in between. Whenever the girl was excited about something, her clumsiness was exacerbated.

"Are you all right, dear?" Minerva asked out of concern as Nymphadora muttered and rubbed at her hip before sitting in the chair. The smiling laugh in response told her she would be all right.

"Well, if you say so," Minerva said as she decided to get the tea. To be honest, she did feel some relief at that. Nymphadora always meant well, but more often than not, she caused more havoc.

"Oh it is lovely to see you dear, of course I'll always have time to talk." Minerva realised over the years that this part of her job was the most satisfying - listening to her students, and former students, and guiding them when necessary. She doubted Nymphadora would have contacted her unless she had some sort of dilemma to think through.

As she passed a plate of shortbread over and poured the tea from the pot, she began to ask questions. "So, you seem rather... enthusiastic... about something, dear?"

[shh_tonks]

Tonks blew a few strands of hair from her face, still rubbing her hip. "Yes, I'm fine, Professor. One of these days I'll learn where my feet are and that they are not to be knocking into every piece of furniture in existence."

She waited patiently in her chair for the tea and accompanying accoutrements to come. Tonks took a piece of shortbread, nibbling on the corner while she waited for her tea to cool. There was something inherently comforting about being in Minerva's presence. Perhaps it was that she had always looked up to and admired the woman. Or perhaps it was that Minerva was one of the few women who could easily keep Tonks in line.

"I don't know if it's enthusiastic or what," Tonks said, turning the piece of shortbread over in her hands. "I spoke with Auror Robards a few days ago and found that, if I want it, my job as an Auror is back..." she trailed off staring at her hands.

"I'm glad to be an Auror again... it's just..." Again she trailed off, resuming the nibbling of a corner of shortbread. "I don't really know, to be honest, Professor. I wanted my job back, yet, as I told Robards I am looking for something... well, something else."

[shh_minerva]

"Well dear, with your abilities, it's not surprising you do tend to be a little clumsy," she said, thinking about how difficult it must be for a metamorphmagus to find their centre of gravity. "Even I had trouble with my centre of gravity when I was transforming. I can only imagine that must be the root of all your clumsiness."

Minerva took a sip of her tea and watched Nymphadora carefully, listening as she replied. "Ahh, you spoke to Gawain?" she said, pleased to hear that she had done so. She knew Gawain had been looking to bring back as many of the experienced Aurors as possible. She detected a note of hesitancy in the girl's voice, and let her finish what she wanted to say.

"It's always nice to know that there is something secure out there, isn't it?" Minerva understood the idea of job security. As she took a bite out of her own shortbread, she did something she rarely indulged in publically. She dipped it into her tea before taking a bite.

"Some people are quite content to spend their lives in a secure job, satisifed by the challenges it provides. They go home at night, they know exactly where they are the next day."

"But you, my dear," she looked up carefully at Nymphadora, "You never struck me as the type of girl to just 'settle' for something. You always fought your way for everything." That much was true. "I had thought you might have found what you were looking for as an Auror, but I guess with the war..." she let that thought lapse. The girl knew what she meant by that statement.

"I admit, you sometimes weren't sure of what your goal was, but when you found it, you certainly drew no stops to get it." Minerva sipped quietly at her tea, letting Nymphadora think over what she had said before she spoke again.

"You know, it's common for young women to rethink their futures. I have to say that I once considered whether or not I was cut out for teaching. I was ready to give it all away, you know." She casually threw that last sentence in, hopefully to get some sort of reaction.

[shh_tonks]

Tonks could actually feel a smile pass over her face. This is why she adored Minerva so and why she knew that she'd be the perfect person to talk to about... well, everything. And to learn that even Minerva had faults of clumsiness, Tonks couldn't help but smile. To know that she wasn't the only one.

"Yes, I spoke with Mr Robards a few days ago," Tonks said, nodding. "And he is very interested in my returning and has said he will work around whatever schedule is necessary."

Tonks lapsed into silence, listening to Minerva. She found herself nodding along at various points, her spirits lifting the longer Minerva spoke. About to begin to speak about her idea for a store, Minerva dropped the proverbial bombshell. Tonks didn't bother to hide her shock, nor did she think she could have even if she wanted to. Her jaw hung open, blatantly staring at Minerva.

"Y...you...? Give up teaching?" The idea was improbable. It was like trying to tell a Death Eater he was really a good guy. It just didn't happen. "What... what on Earth would have made you give it all away?"

[shh_minerva]

Minerva smiled and laughed at the incredulous look that Nymphadora gave her. "Well believe it or not, dear, I once thought that I wasn't cut out for such a vocation." Yes, education had been her life for many decades, but there was one time when it wasn't the sole focus of her life.

As she sipped her tea, she put Nymphadora's curiosity to rest. "Despite what you young folk think, I was once young and indecisive," she replied. "I wanted to teach, I enjoyed it, but there were other options on offer that were difficult to turn down at the time."

She had not thought about those times in many years. It really didn't pay to dwell on them now, but she felt the heaviness of the ring around the chain on her neck, and she took a deep breath.

"I had the choice of starting a family," she said with a smile and a heavy heart, "But unfortunately, Grindelwald had other plans for me. I felt after that, teaching and being mentored by Albus Dumbledore was something to keep me going. I finally looked back one day and realised that it was my life, and that the school was my family. I never spent a day of regret."

Very few people alive ever knew about her fiancee, but something had made her tell Nymphadora her story, it had just seemed... right. She continued to sip her tea as she looked towards the fireplace, her eyes glistening with a tear she would not shed now.

[shh_tonks]

Tonks couldn't help it. Her jaw dropped to the floor and all she could do was stare at the woman. She didn't mean to stare but...

Logically, Tonks knew that Minerva had to have had a family somewhere along the line. However, after spending so many years with a woman one could only describe as 'severe', she had to admit that the thought never really entered her mind. But... even Minerva had lost people during one war or another. And it made her realise that none of them were without their demons.

"He was... killed, then?" Tonks asked delicately, wondering if she had pushed too far.

There was something in her that made Tonks get up and go to Minerva, bending over to wrap her arms around the woman. She couldn't help it.

[shh_minerva]

It had been far too long since Minerva had been hugged. She tried to think of the last person who had given her one, but it seemed that her memory was failing on that point.

When she had transformed into her animagus form, she had occasionally been picked up and cuddled by people who didn't know who she was, and that had often sufficed. But young Nymphadora's hug was just what she never really knew she needed at that moment.

She let the tear fall, and squeezed Nymphadora's arm in thanks. "Thank you," she said almost inaudibly.

"Oh yes," she said with a long repressed sigh. "We always lose the ones we love to war," she said quietly.

Suddenly she felt the urge to talk about Euan - her fiancee from so many years before. "He was quite the looker too, you know. He was seeker for Montrose at the time..." Just as soon as she started, she stopped, realising where she was and that the details no longer truly mattered. At least, they didn't to anyone but her, of course.

She gave Nymphadora a smile, dabbing at the tears with the corner of her handkerchief. "But that's no longer here, nor there, dear. The important thing is that you still have your whole life ahead of you, and the luxury of making your own choices."

"Unfortunately, when you are left with no choices, you're only left with a whole lifetime of 'what ifs'."

[shh_tonks]

Something broke inside Tonks as she held Minerva close. The tear though, that was the final straw. She had never, in all the years she had known the professor, ever saw her cry. Tonks stayed close for a moment before she retook her seat. Though, she wouldn't hide the fact that she scootched her chair closer to the professor's.

In that brief moment, Tonks became closer to Minerva than knowing the woman for eighty years. It was something Tonks could tell, that was rarely talked about. And she felt privliged to learn of him... of Euan.

Tonks leaned over and squeezed Minerva's hand. "We do lose those we love to war. It's always been the way," Tonks said, thinking of her father and how he'd been so changed since he last wandered home. He may be her 'father', but he wasn't her dad. There was just something different about him. Tonks could relate.

"Professor... Minerva," Tonks said softly, using the woman's name for probably the first and only time in her entire life. "If you ever want to talk... I will listen. And... thank you for what you did tell me."

Tonks could only imagine the 'what if' game Minerva had played for the majority of her life. And truth be told, Tonks did not want to find herself in a similar position.

"Thank you, Professor. That's the advice I needed," Tonks said with a smile. "I've been... debating doing something else with my life, in addition to being an Auror. And I think I'm going to go for it." Tonks smiled a bit wider, her foot bouncing. "I want to open a store."

[shh_minerva]

"Thanks, dear," Minerva said, patting Nymphadora on the hand and giving her a genuine smile. It felt good to talk to someone about these things, even if just for a moment. Willa had stopped talking about Euan many years before, and right now she had her own concerns with Pomona.

But Minerva had always had a soft spot for Nymphadora. Perhaps it had been the girl's natural abilities that were akin to her own, or what, but she knew that she wasn't about to go and gossip incessantly about the fact that Minerva McGonagall was only human, after all. "I... appreciate the thought," she added, regaining her composure.

In the end, she had obviously said something right, because it seemed to have helped the girl come to some decision. For once, Minerva was surprised. Usually she could guide people to their decisions in a much less emotional environment. She took another sip of her rapidly cooling tea, and felt her sense of self return.

"A store?" Minerva asked curiously. "What sort of store did you have in mind?" wondering truly what it was she wanted to sell.

[shh_tonks]

"You're more than welcome, Professor," Tonks said, settling back into her seat. She picked up her discarded tea cup and resumed sipping it once more.

It just... felt good and she felt lighter than she had in a while. She wasn't happy that it had to come at Minerva's personal emotional expense, but she was glad for it nonetheless. As she watched Minerva sip her tea, Tonks watched in awe as the cool facade slipped back into place. Tonks was amazed and astounded

And hoped that, maybe, one day she'd have such control over her emotions.

"I... was thinking of selling stationery. There used to be that wonderful shop in Diagon and... I was thinking it might be enjoyable to reopen one here in Stoatshead. I'd... rather be a part of the rebuilding right now."

[shh_minerva]

"Well it seems that the necessities of food, shelter and clothing seem to be taken care of," Minerva smiled. "I hear they are rebuilding all sorts of things around town - a cinema, and a nightclub," Minerva didn't begrudge the youngsters their fun, but she had hoped they might have focussed on more important things, like Quidditch, perhaps.

"I think a stationery store would be quite fitting," she said with an encouraging smile.

"But you know, in all this rebuilding, I find it quite remiss that nobody has yet thought to open a bakery. I do find I miss my daily fresh bread," she said, going off on quite the tangent. Thoughts of Euan had taken over her head, and she was missing many things she had not thought of in years. Like a decadent breakfast filled with danish pastries and croissants. Yes, quite the thing.

"Have you found where you would like the store?" she asked once her mind had returned to the room. She poured another cup of tea, and silently held up the teapot to ask Nymphadora if she wanted one as well. "And how will that fit in with your Auror plans?"

[shh_tonks]

Tonks held her hands up. "You do not want to see me anywhere near baking utensils and ovens. I burned my hand the first and last time I attempted to cook and miraculously managed to burn water. Do not ask me how I managed it, but I did."

Shaking her head, Tonks set her cup down once more to take the teapot from Minerva. And hoping she wouldn't spill the majority of it on herself or the furniture. "I haven't looked for a shop yet," Tonks said softly. "I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this or not and it wasn't until your telling me of Euan that made up my mind completely.

"As far as the Aurors go, I've spoken to Mr Robards and he's willing to work with me. He said he wished me back in whatever capacity I could give. So... I can combine the two and I feel better about this than I have in a few months."

[shh_minerva]

Minerva just smiled as Tonks spoke of her lack of ability in the kitchen, her eyes widened ever so slightly as she took the teapot at she spoke.

"Well I'm sure you'll find a suitable place to set up, dear," she added, thinking of all the empty stores along the main street. "There are plenty still around. I'm sure you'll know which one will be best when you take a good look at them."

The mention of Euan's name seemed a little strange. After years of not even mentioning it, it was almost hard to hear. Perhaps one day she might show Nymphadora the only photograph she still had of him, but not today.

"You weren't the only Auror to have such thoughts," she added. "Hestia was reluctant to return," thoughts of her potions professor came to the front of her mind.

"But I do know that Gawain is concerned with the lack of experienced Aurors around. Perhaps you could work in more of an... advisory capacity, hmmm?"

[shh_tonks]

Tonks nodded. "That's what I was figuring on," she said. "It was... I really didn't want to look for a place yet," Tonks said sheepishly. "Not until I talked to you was I really sure that I wanted to do this. It helped, believe me."

She wasn't surprised to learn that others had doubts about returning as an Auror. It seemed like a natural thing, especially those who had done so much other fighting during the years.

"Mr Robards expressed something similar. I had never really thought of it, but I suppose I could bring that up with him later." Tonks smiled, feeling more relief than she had in a long while. Why she hadn't gone to see Minerva sooner was completely beyond her.

[shh_minerva]

Minerva just smiled as she realised that Nymphadora had come to some firm decision from having come to visit. That always satisfied her, and warmed her to think that she could be so helpful.

It was that knowledge that had kept her going all these years - to be of some use to the world and to help guide confused souls onto their proper path.

"Well thank you, dear. You're more than welcome to come around for tea - even if you really don't have any reason. I always enjoy the company."

"Besides," she said before draining the last of her tea, "somewhere, I have a photograph of Euan that I'll have to show you." It seemed a little easier to say his name now, and perhaps it had not been so healthy to bottle up a lifetime of feelings.

The plate of shortbreads was empty and the tea in the pot rapidly cooling. She saw the look of relief on Nymphadora's face and returned it with her own smile. "Don't worry about Gawain. He'll look after his own. Rebuilding a new auror division is no mean feat, but he would be the first to tell you that he would not want someone who was completely dedicated to the job."

"I have every confidence that you'll fall on your feet, dear."