RP: Mirror, Mirror on the wall...
Date: 22 January 2005 (very early hours of the morning)
Character(s): Romilda
Location: Romilda's Flat, 3A Hillview
Status: Private
Summary: Romilda looks into the mirror again and tries to work out how it could have all gone so horribly wrong.
Completion: complete
Romilda couldn't even bear to look at her face in the mirror this time. She was too ashamed by what she saw in the reflection. Thank merlin for the fact it wasn't the mirror from her bedroom back in the Vane Manor. It would have screamed the house down until her mother had come running, and then she would have never heard the end of it.
Perhaps that is what she needed. Her mother. She needed her mother to tell her what a disgrace she was as a woman, and as a pureblood, but most importantly, as a Vane. Her parents would have been rolling around in their graves at the knowledge of what their only child had become. A full time whore with no prospects and an illegitimate child. If that didn't kick her mother's grave up into a frenzy, then she had no idea what would.
Would she have still been in this position had they been alive? She had no idea, but the memories of that night in her her fifth year came flooding back.
Her downfall had already begun before they died, but it was after their death that she stopped caring. She had missed her OWLs because of their funeral, and came back to school a changed girl. Theodore Nott had taken every opportunity then to do things to her that had appalled her months earlier, but now she was beyond caring, and had become a shell of the girl she once was. She had willingly taken to his 'indoctrination', and had learned lessons about herself she didn't want to even contemplate in the daylight. On that final night of the school year, Theo had decided to leave Hogwarts with one final 'goodbye' liaison.
That 'celebration' had left her battered and bruised, and wanting anything to forget. At the time, she thought it an ironic twist of fate that she had caught Mandy Brocklehurst spouting platitudes to Slughorn about his help during her time at Hogwarts. The decision to swipe the Polyjuice potion from Slughorn's office had been a moment of madness spurred by her anger at Theodore, and the need to do something to make her forget.
Seamus' rejection of her advances in the preceeding weeks had been still fresh in her mind. She had been quite hurt that he had just said 'no' without a second thought, and had become quite jealous of Mandy. Seeing the 'perfect' Mandy down here in the dungeons talking to Slughorn, a half cocked plan had formed. Waltzing past them, she excused herself to the Professor, claiming she had left her book in his classroom. With Polyjuice hidden under her robes, she blatantly walked past again, and had plucked a hair from Mandy's robe whilst she was distracted.
It had seemed opportunistic at the time.
It seemed utterly stupid many years later. She was not proud of her seduction of Seamus Finnigan, but she was not at all prepared for the confession he blurted when he thought he was talking to Mandy - the shameful admission that he had killed a man - a Death Eater - but he had killed him with his bare hands. Ultimately, it had taken her mind off Theo -- not because she had finally achieved her goal -- but because now she carried the shock of Seamus' confession, and the guilt of what she had done.
Well, until now.
Seamus had been right in every little thing he said about her. She was an attention seeking whore, and there really was nothing she could do to fix this. Nothing at all.
And in her anger and fury she had told him she quit.
Whilst part of her berated herself for doing so, the other part was trying to tell her that perhaps that was a good thing. Her work behind the bar had been inextricably linked with her prostitution, she could see why some of the old 'regulars' had difficulty believing she was no longer turning tricks. How foolish had she been to think that a new town and a new resolution on life could be so easy to undertake?
And even if she did return to the Five Alarm, how on earth was she going to work around Seamus and Alicia? At least with Alicia, she had come to some sort of understanding, but she doubted she could ever be in the same room again as Seamus. Still, she knew she would write an apology to Rosmerta. Perhaps not the full truth, but something to at least apologise for her abrupt departure.
She dared to finally look in the mirror, and focussed instantly on those marks on her neck. They still had not faded, despite Theo's assertion they weren't permanent. Still, even with his assurances that the words 'Property of Theodore Nott' that had been marked into her neck would go away, she knew they would always be there. Even when they faded, she would probably still look to see if they returned. It would be just like him to do that.
How ironic.
It had been Theo that had forced her hand to that Polyjuice all those years ago, and he was still very much in her life.
She just couldn't seem to shake any of the demons of her past. Not Theo, not her old clients -- not even bloody Dung Fletcher -- the leech.
Now that was just going to ruin her entire future now, wasn't it? Her little secret was out. Seamus knew, as did Cormac.
A chill wind clattered through the bathroom window and she threw her dressing gown back over her shoulders. She'd been mortified when Dung told Cormac about her past. He'd defended her and seen her home safely, but he had been far too quiet and spoke little to her. Was he now thinking the same as everyone else? Would he abandon her and Liam too?
Liam.
The one person who kept her whole and sane. Yet again, she had let him down. It would break Liam's heart to be away from Peeves, of course, but she didn't think that it would be in Liam's best interests to hang around the poltergeist for too long. But when word got out, perhaps his little friends would want to stop playing with him - all because his mother was a whore. First Ben, then Violet, then Ella.
... perhaps not Ella. Looking in the mirror, she remembered the marks on Millicent's skin - the brutal bruises that were atop other bruises. Millicent had descended to the lowest depths, yet Romilda felt as if she was there as well, only her addictions had led her onto the same path. Romilda had seen all the same bruises on her own skin - enjoyed most of the pain when she got them too.
She stared at the reflection a while longer, not finding a single trace of the Romilda she wanted to be.
It was not the mirror or Erised, but perhaps if she looked into it long enough, she would find a trace of what she truly desired. Even if it took forever. She could wait.
Character(s): Romilda
Location: Romilda's Flat, 3A Hillview
Status: Private
Summary: Romilda looks into the mirror again and tries to work out how it could have all gone so horribly wrong.
Completion: complete
Romilda couldn't even bear to look at her face in the mirror this time. She was too ashamed by what she saw in the reflection. Thank merlin for the fact it wasn't the mirror from her bedroom back in the Vane Manor. It would have screamed the house down until her mother had come running, and then she would have never heard the end of it.
Perhaps that is what she needed. Her mother. She needed her mother to tell her what a disgrace she was as a woman, and as a pureblood, but most importantly, as a Vane. Her parents would have been rolling around in their graves at the knowledge of what their only child had become. A full time whore with no prospects and an illegitimate child. If that didn't kick her mother's grave up into a frenzy, then she had no idea what would.
Would she have still been in this position had they been alive? She had no idea, but the memories of that night in her her fifth year came flooding back.
Her downfall had already begun before they died, but it was after their death that she stopped caring. She had missed her OWLs because of their funeral, and came back to school a changed girl. Theodore Nott had taken every opportunity then to do things to her that had appalled her months earlier, but now she was beyond caring, and had become a shell of the girl she once was. She had willingly taken to his 'indoctrination', and had learned lessons about herself she didn't want to even contemplate in the daylight. On that final night of the school year, Theo had decided to leave Hogwarts with one final 'goodbye' liaison.
That 'celebration' had left her battered and bruised, and wanting anything to forget. At the time, she thought it an ironic twist of fate that she had caught Mandy Brocklehurst spouting platitudes to Slughorn about his help during her time at Hogwarts. The decision to swipe the Polyjuice potion from Slughorn's office had been a moment of madness spurred by her anger at Theodore, and the need to do something to make her forget.
Seamus' rejection of her advances in the preceeding weeks had been still fresh in her mind. She had been quite hurt that he had just said 'no' without a second thought, and had become quite jealous of Mandy. Seeing the 'perfect' Mandy down here in the dungeons talking to Slughorn, a half cocked plan had formed. Waltzing past them, she excused herself to the Professor, claiming she had left her book in his classroom. With Polyjuice hidden under her robes, she blatantly walked past again, and had plucked a hair from Mandy's robe whilst she was distracted.
It had seemed opportunistic at the time.
It seemed utterly stupid many years later. She was not proud of her seduction of Seamus Finnigan, but she was not at all prepared for the confession he blurted when he thought he was talking to Mandy - the shameful admission that he had killed a man - a Death Eater - but he had killed him with his bare hands. Ultimately, it had taken her mind off Theo -- not because she had finally achieved her goal -- but because now she carried the shock of Seamus' confession, and the guilt of what she had done.
Well, until now.
Seamus had been right in every little thing he said about her. She was an attention seeking whore, and there really was nothing she could do to fix this. Nothing at all.
And in her anger and fury she had told him she quit.
Whilst part of her berated herself for doing so, the other part was trying to tell her that perhaps that was a good thing. Her work behind the bar had been inextricably linked with her prostitution, she could see why some of the old 'regulars' had difficulty believing she was no longer turning tricks. How foolish had she been to think that a new town and a new resolution on life could be so easy to undertake?
And even if she did return to the Five Alarm, how on earth was she going to work around Seamus and Alicia? At least with Alicia, she had come to some sort of understanding, but she doubted she could ever be in the same room again as Seamus. Still, she knew she would write an apology to Rosmerta. Perhaps not the full truth, but something to at least apologise for her abrupt departure.
She dared to finally look in the mirror, and focussed instantly on those marks on her neck. They still had not faded, despite Theo's assertion they weren't permanent. Still, even with his assurances that the words 'Property of Theodore Nott' that had been marked into her neck would go away, she knew they would always be there. Even when they faded, she would probably still look to see if they returned. It would be just like him to do that.
How ironic.
It had been Theo that had forced her hand to that Polyjuice all those years ago, and he was still very much in her life.
She just couldn't seem to shake any of the demons of her past. Not Theo, not her old clients -- not even bloody Dung Fletcher -- the leech.
Now that was just going to ruin her entire future now, wasn't it? Her little secret was out. Seamus knew, as did Cormac.
A chill wind clattered through the bathroom window and she threw her dressing gown back over her shoulders. She'd been mortified when Dung told Cormac about her past. He'd defended her and seen her home safely, but he had been far too quiet and spoke little to her. Was he now thinking the same as everyone else? Would he abandon her and Liam too?
Liam.
The one person who kept her whole and sane. Yet again, she had let him down. It would break Liam's heart to be away from Peeves, of course, but she didn't think that it would be in Liam's best interests to hang around the poltergeist for too long. But when word got out, perhaps his little friends would want to stop playing with him - all because his mother was a whore. First Ben, then Violet, then Ella.
... perhaps not Ella. Looking in the mirror, she remembered the marks on Millicent's skin - the brutal bruises that were atop other bruises. Millicent had descended to the lowest depths, yet Romilda felt as if she was there as well, only her addictions had led her onto the same path. Romilda had seen all the same bruises on her own skin - enjoyed most of the pain when she got them too.
She stared at the reflection a while longer, not finding a single trace of the Romilda she wanted to be.
It was not the mirror or Erised, but perhaps if she looked into it long enough, she would find a trace of what she truly desired. Even if it took forever. She could wait.