The Big Gamble (Part Nine)
Part Nine:
“You ready for this?” Luke smiled brightly.
“Yep. No sweat.”
Luke frowned. Reid didn’t sound very enthusiastic. In fact, the past few days he’d seemed a little……distant. “Are you okay?” he asked tentatively. “I already told you. If you didn’t want to do this, you didn’t have to, although I wish you would’ve told me before we wound up standing in front of my Grandma’s porch, but…..”
“Luke, I’m fine. Really. Let’s just…..go inside.”
“Okay,” he replied dejectedly.
Luke was thankful that the kitchen was relatively calm when he and Reid entered the house. His grandma, dad and Aunt Meg were the only people that were in there at the time. He looked over at Reid who had seemed to visibly relax at the sight of a nearly empty room.
“Luke!”
“Hi grandma.”
“Hello sweetheart!” Emma chimed, wrapping her arms around her favorite grandson and giving him a squeeze. “And is this your young man?”
Reid nearly snorted at the ‘young man’ part of the question but somehow managed to keep it together. Instead he stuck his hand out formally and said his name as introduction. Emma cocked her head to the side and looked at him somewhat questioningly. Any minute he was sure she would tackle him to the ground and hug him but instead she took his hand and returned the gesture before bustling back over to the oven. Luke’s Aunt Meg was next, giving her nephew a little hug and saying hello again to Reid. There might have been some mumbling comment about how a family dinner came around a lot faster for him then she would have thought, but he was a little distracted at the sight of Luke’s dad approaching. He wasn’t a big man really, but he was definitely bigger than Reid and could easily take him. He knew the man would have to be strong to do the work that he does. He wasn’t quite sure what to expect from Luke’s dad. The man only ever had to worry about one boy in his son’s past and unlike Noah, Reid wasn’t a boy. He was a man. He was older and more experience. Oh yeah. And he won his son in a poker game. Images of waking up next to a horse’s head suddenly flashed in his mind before he realized that Luke was talking.
“Dad. This is Reid. Erm….Dr. Reid Oliver. Reid…..this is my dad; Holden Snyder.”
“Pleasure,” Reid cleared his throat.
“Dr. Oliver.” Holden shook his hand whilst sizing him up. He dropped his hand then gazed at his son, looking worried. Luke didn’t seem happy. He had heard all about the bet. His cousin Jack had to nearly stop him from going after Noah with a shotgun. It amazed him when he had heard from his sister that Luke was actually going along with it. Then about a week ago, he had spoken with Luke on the phone and the young man had actually sounded happier than he had in years. He seemed relaxed and calm and when Luke asked him if he could bring someone with him he thought that maybe he had figured out the reason why; that there really was something going on between Luke and this Dr. Oliver. He had heard many things about the man around town from various people. He didn’t sound like the kind of guy that would fit with Luke but after hearing his son’s voice on the phone and the way he animatedly talked about him he was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. However the Luke in front of him now seemed less confident and the excitement was all but gone from his voice. Now Holden just seemed skeptical of the whole situation and the doctor in particular.
“Luke……why don’t we…..” Before Holden could finish his sentence the back door opened and people started filtering in. First was Ethan, then Natalie and Lily. Faith was trailing behind, engrossed in her cell phone; probably texting someone. Jack and Carly followed with Parker, JJ, and Sage making up the rear. Reid suddenly paled at the rapidly filling house.
“Oh wonderful!” Emma jovially exclaimed. “Everyone’s almost here. Looks like we’re just waiting on Brad, Katie, and Jacob. Lily dear, is Lucinda coming this evening?”
“She said she would try to, but she had back to back conference calls when I spoke to her earlier so I’m not sure if she’ll actually be able to make it or not.”
“Who’s he?”
The room went silent as Faith’s words reverberated around the room. Everyone looked at the stranger in the kitchen while Reid searched Luke’s face for help. “Everyone, this is Reid. Reid this is….well……”
“Everyone,” Reid repeated. He could swear he was sweating.
“Yeah.” Luke looked worriedly at Reid, noticing his reaction to being in the same room as so many people. “Umm….why don’t we all just…..separate and go about things normally. We can make rounds and introductions later.”
Lily hesitated, looking almost desperate to be able to say or do something but seeing the look on her son’s face, she simply acquiesced and went about getting Ethan settled down on the living room floor with toys and the promise of a few of grandma’s cookies before dinner.
Later that evening when everyone was split up into little groups and carrying on different conversations, Lily pulled Luke aside.
“Mind telling me what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…..I’m not really sure what you’re doing Luke.” Luke looked confused and Lily sighed. “Baby you know I love you and when I heard about what happened at that poker game and what Noah did I could’ve killed him, but now you’re actually dating the guy who ‘won’ you? Honey I know what you look like when you’re happy and I can tell that you’re not happy. Are you just doing this because you don’t want to be alone?
“No!” he replied adamantly. “Believe it or not, I really like Reid. He makes me feel good….in a way I haven’t in a really long time.”
“Then why do you look so miserable?” she asked gently.
He shrugged and looked down, unable to make eye contact with his mother. “Things have just felt different the past few days. It feels like he’s pulling away. I don’t think I did anything. Maybe he’s just getting bored. I’m not sure. It doesn’t help that we haven’t…..well,” he blushed, “we haven’t taken that next step yet. I’m not sure if that’s it or not. I’m worried though. We’re still…..new and it already hurts to think that things might be over.”
“Let me tell you something it took a long time for me to learn Luke. The people who love you, who really love you will accept you for who you are. It won’t matter at what pace you take things. You’ve always been special. Anyone who doesn’t or can’t realize that isn’t worth your time. It might hurt, but it’ll be better in the long run and you’ll be better in the long run because of it. I just want what’s best for you because that’s what you deserve. I don’t want you making the same mistakes I did. It’s obvious to me now that Noah wasn’t the one for you. Maybe this guy isn’t either, but you’ll find him. Just don’t settle, okay?”
Luke nodded and tried to swallow the tight knot forming in his throat. “I won’t,” he choked out.
“I love you baby.”
“Love you too mom.”
Lily left him sitting in the den off from the living room. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down when he heard someone clear their throat from behind him.
“Hey,” he said thickly as Reid entered the room.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” he attempted to smile. “I’m fine.”
“No you’re not,” he replied knowingly. “I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“For being an asshole.”
“You’re not.”
“I am. I am an asshole Luke, but I don’t want to be. At least not with you. Everyone else I don’t care, but I don’t want to be that way with you.”
“You’ve been different. I just thought…..”
“I know. I heard you and your mom. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I went looking for you and once I heard what you were talking about I couldn’t stop listening.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t care that we haven’t had sex. Don’t get me wrong. I’m ready whenever you are, but that’s not what it’s about. And I’m not bored by you. Somehow you can’t seem to bore me. Quite a feat Mr. Snyder.”
Luke faintly smiled at that. “So what’s changed? Is it just the dinner? It was too soon, wasn’t it?”
“Don’t,” Reid grabbed onto his hands and held them between his own. “It’s……Noah.”
“Noah?” Luke frowned. “What about him?”
“I ran into him the other morning.”
“Oh,” he paused. “What did he say?”
“We just….exchanged some words. Why didn’t you tell me you’re an alcoholic?” Reid asked suddenly. He could feel Luke’s hands tense as well as see his body shift with that same tension. “I’m not upset Luke….or disappointed….or think any less of you,” he whispered somehow reading Luke’s mind. “I just want to know why you think you couldn’t tell me.”
“I don’t know,” he looked sheepish. “It just never got brought up.”
“It’s why you don’t drink though. That could’ve been a good time to bring it up.”
“Why does it matter?”
“It doesn’t. I just can’t help but think there’s a reason why you didn’t tell me. Maybe there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to tell me about these things because you don’t really trust me. Or maybe deep down you already know that this is temporary so you figure why bother.”
“Temporary…..I don’t…..what are you saying?” Reid looked at Luke who seemed as if he were about to cry, which he didn’t quite understand, but he carried on anyway.
“You’ve told me about your relationship with Noah and how you two always get back together. Katie’s warned me about it before. Maybe you’re not quite as over him as you thought. Maybe there’s a part of you that’s waiting or wanting to be with him again.”
“No,” Luke shook his vehemently. “No.”
“Can you honestly tell me Luke that if Noah came up to you and said all of the things you’ve always wanted to hear from him, then followed that up by telling you how much he loves you and wants you back, that you wouldn’t consider it?”
“Noah…….” he bit his lip….. “I loved him. I’ll always love him. I already told you that.”
“You did, but….”
“But nothing. I’m done Reid. I am. No matter what he says, I’m not going to be with him again. It’s too much. He’s not what I need or want. Not anymore. It was never right. I always knew that I just…..didn’t think I deserved better. I never had a reason to walk away before.”
“And you do now?”
“I think you’re a pretty good reason, don’t you?” Luke smiled.
“So why didn’t you tell me?”
“For all the reasons you said above. I thought learning something like that might scare you off. That you might realize just how messed up I am and decide it would be easier if we just ended things.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“So are you,” he shot back. “One conversation with Noah and you start shutting me out.”
“I may have over reacted.”
“Are we okay?” Luke asked seriously. “I really want us to be okay.”
“Better than. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. Your mom was right you know. You’re incredibly special and I feel very lucky to be with you. Even here today with your disgustingly huge and Mayberry-esque family.”
Luke laughed and leaned forward to brush his lips against Reid’s. “It hasn’t been that bad.”
“Katie’s been keeping me in conversation which has helped ward off some of the others,” he acknowledged.
“That’s because she’s your…..what’s that word Dr. Oliver?” Luke teased. “Oh yeah. Friend!”
“Ughh,” Reid made a sound of disgust. “There’s that word again.”
“Come here,” Luke pulled him up while chuckling softly. “Thank you for talking to me,” Luke said after kissing him again.
“Always,” he murmured against Luke’s lips. “I’m going to mess up sometimes Luke. I’m kind of new at this caring about someone thing. Just don’t give up on me if I screw something up or handle something wrong again, okay?”
“Ditto.”
NEXT
“You ready for this?” Luke smiled brightly.
“Yep. No sweat.”
Luke frowned. Reid didn’t sound very enthusiastic. In fact, the past few days he’d seemed a little……distant. “Are you okay?” he asked tentatively. “I already told you. If you didn’t want to do this, you didn’t have to, although I wish you would’ve told me before we wound up standing in front of my Grandma’s porch, but…..”
“Luke, I’m fine. Really. Let’s just…..go inside.”
“Okay,” he replied dejectedly.
Luke was thankful that the kitchen was relatively calm when he and Reid entered the house. His grandma, dad and Aunt Meg were the only people that were in there at the time. He looked over at Reid who had seemed to visibly relax at the sight of a nearly empty room.
“Luke!”
“Hi grandma.”
“Hello sweetheart!” Emma chimed, wrapping her arms around her favorite grandson and giving him a squeeze. “And is this your young man?”
Reid nearly snorted at the ‘young man’ part of the question but somehow managed to keep it together. Instead he stuck his hand out formally and said his name as introduction. Emma cocked her head to the side and looked at him somewhat questioningly. Any minute he was sure she would tackle him to the ground and hug him but instead she took his hand and returned the gesture before bustling back over to the oven. Luke’s Aunt Meg was next, giving her nephew a little hug and saying hello again to Reid. There might have been some mumbling comment about how a family dinner came around a lot faster for him then she would have thought, but he was a little distracted at the sight of Luke’s dad approaching. He wasn’t a big man really, but he was definitely bigger than Reid and could easily take him. He knew the man would have to be strong to do the work that he does. He wasn’t quite sure what to expect from Luke’s dad. The man only ever had to worry about one boy in his son’s past and unlike Noah, Reid wasn’t a boy. He was a man. He was older and more experience. Oh yeah. And he won his son in a poker game. Images of waking up next to a horse’s head suddenly flashed in his mind before he realized that Luke was talking.
“Dad. This is Reid. Erm….Dr. Reid Oliver. Reid…..this is my dad; Holden Snyder.”
“Pleasure,” Reid cleared his throat.
“Dr. Oliver.” Holden shook his hand whilst sizing him up. He dropped his hand then gazed at his son, looking worried. Luke didn’t seem happy. He had heard all about the bet. His cousin Jack had to nearly stop him from going after Noah with a shotgun. It amazed him when he had heard from his sister that Luke was actually going along with it. Then about a week ago, he had spoken with Luke on the phone and the young man had actually sounded happier than he had in years. He seemed relaxed and calm and when Luke asked him if he could bring someone with him he thought that maybe he had figured out the reason why; that there really was something going on between Luke and this Dr. Oliver. He had heard many things about the man around town from various people. He didn’t sound like the kind of guy that would fit with Luke but after hearing his son’s voice on the phone and the way he animatedly talked about him he was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. However the Luke in front of him now seemed less confident and the excitement was all but gone from his voice. Now Holden just seemed skeptical of the whole situation and the doctor in particular.
“Luke……why don’t we…..” Before Holden could finish his sentence the back door opened and people started filtering in. First was Ethan, then Natalie and Lily. Faith was trailing behind, engrossed in her cell phone; probably texting someone. Jack and Carly followed with Parker, JJ, and Sage making up the rear. Reid suddenly paled at the rapidly filling house.
“Oh wonderful!” Emma jovially exclaimed. “Everyone’s almost here. Looks like we’re just waiting on Brad, Katie, and Jacob. Lily dear, is Lucinda coming this evening?”
“She said she would try to, but she had back to back conference calls when I spoke to her earlier so I’m not sure if she’ll actually be able to make it or not.”
“Who’s he?”
The room went silent as Faith’s words reverberated around the room. Everyone looked at the stranger in the kitchen while Reid searched Luke’s face for help. “Everyone, this is Reid. Reid this is….well……”
“Everyone,” Reid repeated. He could swear he was sweating.
“Yeah.” Luke looked worriedly at Reid, noticing his reaction to being in the same room as so many people. “Umm….why don’t we all just…..separate and go about things normally. We can make rounds and introductions later.”
Lily hesitated, looking almost desperate to be able to say or do something but seeing the look on her son’s face, she simply acquiesced and went about getting Ethan settled down on the living room floor with toys and the promise of a few of grandma’s cookies before dinner.
Later that evening when everyone was split up into little groups and carrying on different conversations, Lily pulled Luke aside.
“Mind telling me what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean…..I’m not really sure what you’re doing Luke.” Luke looked confused and Lily sighed. “Baby you know I love you and when I heard about what happened at that poker game and what Noah did I could’ve killed him, but now you’re actually dating the guy who ‘won’ you? Honey I know what you look like when you’re happy and I can tell that you’re not happy. Are you just doing this because you don’t want to be alone?
“No!” he replied adamantly. “Believe it or not, I really like Reid. He makes me feel good….in a way I haven’t in a really long time.”
“Then why do you look so miserable?” she asked gently.
He shrugged and looked down, unable to make eye contact with his mother. “Things have just felt different the past few days. It feels like he’s pulling away. I don’t think I did anything. Maybe he’s just getting bored. I’m not sure. It doesn’t help that we haven’t…..well,” he blushed, “we haven’t taken that next step yet. I’m not sure if that’s it or not. I’m worried though. We’re still…..new and it already hurts to think that things might be over.”
“Let me tell you something it took a long time for me to learn Luke. The people who love you, who really love you will accept you for who you are. It won’t matter at what pace you take things. You’ve always been special. Anyone who doesn’t or can’t realize that isn’t worth your time. It might hurt, but it’ll be better in the long run and you’ll be better in the long run because of it. I just want what’s best for you because that’s what you deserve. I don’t want you making the same mistakes I did. It’s obvious to me now that Noah wasn’t the one for you. Maybe this guy isn’t either, but you’ll find him. Just don’t settle, okay?”
Luke nodded and tried to swallow the tight knot forming in his throat. “I won’t,” he choked out.
“I love you baby.”
“Love you too mom.”
Lily left him sitting in the den off from the living room. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down when he heard someone clear their throat from behind him.
“Hey,” he said thickly as Reid entered the room.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” he attempted to smile. “I’m fine.”
“No you’re not,” he replied knowingly. “I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“For being an asshole.”
“You’re not.”
“I am. I am an asshole Luke, but I don’t want to be. At least not with you. Everyone else I don’t care, but I don’t want to be that way with you.”
“You’ve been different. I just thought…..”
“I know. I heard you and your mom. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I went looking for you and once I heard what you were talking about I couldn’t stop listening.”
“Oh.”
“I don’t care that we haven’t had sex. Don’t get me wrong. I’m ready whenever you are, but that’s not what it’s about. And I’m not bored by you. Somehow you can’t seem to bore me. Quite a feat Mr. Snyder.”
Luke faintly smiled at that. “So what’s changed? Is it just the dinner? It was too soon, wasn’t it?”
“Don’t,” Reid grabbed onto his hands and held them between his own. “It’s……Noah.”
“Noah?” Luke frowned. “What about him?”
“I ran into him the other morning.”
“Oh,” he paused. “What did he say?”
“We just….exchanged some words. Why didn’t you tell me you’re an alcoholic?” Reid asked suddenly. He could feel Luke’s hands tense as well as see his body shift with that same tension. “I’m not upset Luke….or disappointed….or think any less of you,” he whispered somehow reading Luke’s mind. “I just want to know why you think you couldn’t tell me.”
“I don’t know,” he looked sheepish. “It just never got brought up.”
“It’s why you don’t drink though. That could’ve been a good time to bring it up.”
“Why does it matter?”
“It doesn’t. I just can’t help but think there’s a reason why you didn’t tell me. Maybe there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to tell me about these things because you don’t really trust me. Or maybe deep down you already know that this is temporary so you figure why bother.”
“Temporary…..I don’t…..what are you saying?” Reid looked at Luke who seemed as if he were about to cry, which he didn’t quite understand, but he carried on anyway.
“You’ve told me about your relationship with Noah and how you two always get back together. Katie’s warned me about it before. Maybe you’re not quite as over him as you thought. Maybe there’s a part of you that’s waiting or wanting to be with him again.”
“No,” Luke shook his vehemently. “No.”
“Can you honestly tell me Luke that if Noah came up to you and said all of the things you’ve always wanted to hear from him, then followed that up by telling you how much he loves you and wants you back, that you wouldn’t consider it?”
“Noah…….” he bit his lip….. “I loved him. I’ll always love him. I already told you that.”
“You did, but….”
“But nothing. I’m done Reid. I am. No matter what he says, I’m not going to be with him again. It’s too much. He’s not what I need or want. Not anymore. It was never right. I always knew that I just…..didn’t think I deserved better. I never had a reason to walk away before.”
“And you do now?”
“I think you’re a pretty good reason, don’t you?” Luke smiled.
“So why didn’t you tell me?”
“For all the reasons you said above. I thought learning something like that might scare you off. That you might realize just how messed up I am and decide it would be easier if we just ended things.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“So are you,” he shot back. “One conversation with Noah and you start shutting me out.”
“I may have over reacted.”
“Are we okay?” Luke asked seriously. “I really want us to be okay.”
“Better than. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not. Your mom was right you know. You’re incredibly special and I feel very lucky to be with you. Even here today with your disgustingly huge and Mayberry-esque family.”
Luke laughed and leaned forward to brush his lips against Reid’s. “It hasn’t been that bad.”
“Katie’s been keeping me in conversation which has helped ward off some of the others,” he acknowledged.
“That’s because she’s your…..what’s that word Dr. Oliver?” Luke teased. “Oh yeah. Friend!”
“Ughh,” Reid made a sound of disgust. “There’s that word again.”
“Come here,” Luke pulled him up while chuckling softly. “Thank you for talking to me,” Luke said after kissing him again.
“Always,” he murmured against Luke’s lips. “I’m going to mess up sometimes Luke. I’m kind of new at this caring about someone thing. Just don’t give up on me if I screw something up or handle something wrong again, okay?”
“Ditto.”
NEXT