i said that i couldn't be hurt like this again.. i lied.
i dont see how two people in the same situation can feel so different towards eachother. There is no way that i want to be without him.. yet he is happy without me. Im the furthest from it. I'm on the virge of tears every minute. I dont know how he can do this.. i wish i told him. I wish that he knew. I wish that i never blew up at him. I wish that i was a better girlfriend. I wish that he would call me and say that he misses me and that he is sorry and that he wants to see me tomorrow. I wish that things were perfect. I wish that he was in love with me. I wish that he wanted to be with me. I wish that I didnt have to cry all the time. I wish that i could be happy. I wish that he wasnt happy without me. I wish that i could've made him happy. I wish that I could think about him without feeling sick. I wish that everything didnt remind me of him. I wish I had someone to talk to who could understand and know everything besides the one person that i refuse to call. I wish he wants to give it another try. I wish that I wasnt scared to tell him how I feel. I wish that it was o.k. to call him. I wish that he was my boyfriend. I wish that I was his girlfriend. I wish that his will decide that he wants me sooner than he will if he ever does. I wish that he wont lose his feelings for me. I wish that he misses me like i miss him. I wish that he felt the same way i do. I wish that i knew how to make things better. I wish that I knew the perfect thing to say. I wish that I knew the perfect thing to do. I wish that i never called him again today. I wish that I could stop wishing for things that will never come true.